You ever ask yourself: "I'm a loser.

What am I doing with my life?"

Then look no further.

I have the answer that's helped millions--

Be all you can possibly be.

Join the Marine Dolphins.

[laughing]

Huh?

The inescapable display case!

No!

All in a day's work, eh, Mermaid Man?

Remember, it's up to you to reveal the true face of crime.

Sign up to be part of the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Junior Crime Fighters.

I gotta figure out what to do with my life.

[Mermaid Man doll] Fight evil!

Aww, I wish I was a superhero.

That's it! I know what I want to do with my life!

To the changing room!

[grunts]

[grunting]

[sighs]

[grunts]

At last I have found my calling.

I am Patrick-Man, Defender of Bikini Bottom!

[grunts]

Mr. Squidward, what's with all the dilly-dallyin'?

We got customer's money to take!

Where?

[wind blowing]

Ah! Where is everybody?

Fear not, Patrick-Man is here.

Patrick!

I knew our number one customer wouldn't let us down.

[shushes him]

It's Patrick-Man, Mr. Krabs.

Patrick-Man?

What kind of ridiculous name is that?

Oh, forget the name.

Look at the ridiculous outfit.

What is that? A pair of briefs?

[laughing]

Ooh! Blaring employee laughter in the common area?

[laughing]

Hey, Patrick, what's with the fancy duds?

Must I explain everything?

I found what I want to do with my life!

I am...

Patrick-Man!

[gasps] That is so exciting!

I can't wait to tell Gary, my parents, my grand--

Shh, shh, shh, SpongeBob!

My identity must be kept secret!

My work here is done.

Patrick-Man's off!

The city needs my help!

Oh, I almost forgot, can I get a Krabby Patty?

[bell ringing]

Hey, how'd you do on the final?

I aced it!

Me too!

[laughing]

Looks like all the studying paid off.

[in unison] High five!

[gasps]

- [groaning] - Whoa, you okay. man?

Just remember this:

Violence solves nothing!

Violence?

We were just giving high fives--

No time for silly-talk, citizen.

Patrick-Man is needed elsewhere!

Please, ma'am, allow me.

Huh?

Why, thank you, young man.

[laughing]

Not a problem, ma'am.

It's the least I could do...!

Sorry, lady, you're on your own.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear!

Oh, sweet dollar.

Oh, just look at you. So clean. So crisp.

Now come to Krabsy.

Halt! Patrick-Man is on to you!

Thief! Stealing is bad!

Bad!

But I found that dollar!

Nah, enough!

This dollar shall stay on the sidewalk,

where it belongs.

With Neptune's swiftness, away!

Hey, a dollar!

[chuckles] This must be my lucky day.

[distant voice] Help! Help, somebody! Help!

Sounds like another job for Patrick-Man!

I'll finish you off later, day-old donuts.

Right now, I must move rapidly and act heroically!

What's this?

Don't move, and freeze!

Huh?

Let's see you try to bust outta that, boat thief!

Boat thief? Heavens, no!

My poor student is trapped inside this boat!

The doors are jammed!

Jammed doors, huh?

Unlikely story.

With Neptune's swiftness...

Away.

[sirens]

Ah, merciful Neptune!

The authorities are here.

You'll be out of there in no time.

Well, what have we here?

"Cops, this is boat thief."

Looks like Patrick-Man caught another one!

What would we do without superheroes?

But, I didn't do anything!

Grand Theft Vessel is a felony.

You remember what a felony is, don't you, Mrs. Puff?

Felony?!

Oh, I...

Ugh. Patrick-Man...

Help?