Still riding to work on a machine, I see!

Don't say anything, Squidward, remember your karma.

What? [groaning]

Well, what do you think?

Do ya love it?

Mr. Tentacles, I simply cannot express

my true feelings about your work.

Yes, I realize

my artistic brilliance can be overwhelming.

Quite frankly... [sniffing]

It stinks!

Yes, and-- Now, see here!

Maybe this museum is too low-brow

for this masterpiece.

[gasping] How dare you! Be gone!

[groaning]

And take your putrid painting with you!

It has no place in this museum's art collection!

Won't anyone save my precious painting?!

Got it!

SpongeBob.

It's empty.

See? Empty.

Wow, Squidward, how'd you know that?

Well, let's see. Maybe 'cause I have a brain.

Oh. Squidward, the grill is on.

Oh, really?

And do you think I don't know that this grill is--

[screaming]

I gotta do something!

[screaming]

Okay, Squidward, this should help.

[screaming]

Don't worry, Squidward! I'll catch you!

[groaning]

[screaming]

Uh. I can fix this.

[screaming]

This time I gotcha!

[screaming]

[gasping]

[mumbling]

[singing]

[growling]

If I'm not allowed to be cool anymore

then neither is SpongeBob.

[screaming and singing]

Uh. Uh-huh. [screaming]

[screaming and singing]

Zoop, zop, zlim, zlam, jam! Bam!

It's about time you got here!

Here you go, Your Majesty.

- I can't drink that. - Why not?

Are you blind? Just look at it.

What about it?

That lemon has three seeds in it.

That's an odd number!

I can't eat anything odd numbered.

Fine, I'll just take it out.

No! No! It's already contaminated

by the bad lemon! It won't work!

Hmm, that's two things in this house that won't work.

Then go fix them.

Two things that won't work!

I've changed my mind. I want soup instead.

Okay, don't move.

Here you go. It's alphabet soup. I made it special.

[groaning]

Condensed soup from a can? Disgusting!

Now you've ruined my appetite! Go fetch me something to read!

Oh, okay. How about this?

[gasping]

Get that away from me!

You know I'm allergic to newsprint!

Haha. Ya know, when you swatted that newspaper out of my hands,

it reminded me of something a friend of mine did...

at his job!

[horn blowing]

Four o'clock, time for my stories.

Hurry up, they won't hold the show

while you laze around.

[whistling]

Hey, where you going?

To my job.

You have a job?

Why wouldn't I? I'm not some lazy,

inconsiderate jerk who lays in bed all day.

Say, where can I get one of these... jobs?

Oh, they're everywhere.

Especially if you're green and have six tentacles.

Thanks. I'm gonna go look for one, so I can stop mooching

off my friends and they can get back

to their lives!

This isn't my show.

SpongeBob, the remote control is broken!

Get over here and fix it!

I've got a better idea!

Why don't I call someone whose job it is to fix it?

You know why? Because when I need a job done,

I get someone with a job to do that job!

What are you saying?

[screaming]

Hey, Squidward, you want me to cast out

over here so you can watch me?

How about you cast out over there so I can ignore you?

Okay.

[groaning]

Hey, watch where you're swinging that--

SpongeBob, be careful with--

[screaming]

Doesn't that smell good, SpongeBob?

You haven't eaten in days.

What about you, Patrick?

A big boy's gotta eat.

Well, you can't have any. And do you know why, SpongeBob?

Because your club president is a shell!

If you had listened to me, you'd have food, shelter,

and a roaring fire.

But instead you listened to a talking clam...

that tells you nothing!

As if the answers to all your problems

will fall right out of the sky! [laughing]

Fall right out of the sky!

Dude, we're falling right out of the sky!

We gotta drop the load!

[beeping]

Praise the Magic Conch!

[babbling]

I spent the whole day with you

doing all kinds of ridiculous things,

because you were supposed to explode!

You want me to explode?

Yes! That's what I've been waiting for!

Um, okay. I'll try.

[grunting]

Gary, you are gonna finish your dessert

and you are gonna like it! [laughing]

Now it's your turn.

That's not what I meant, you barnacle-head!

Ooh, good one.

No! You're supposed to explode into a million pieces!

Why would I do that?

Because the pie you ate was a bomb.

What pie?

The one I left sitting on the counter this morning,

that I bought from pirates for 25 bucks

and I didn't know it was a bomb

and you ate it... that pie!

Pie? Oh! You mean this pie!

I was saving it in my pocket for us to share.

Let's eat. Oops!