We could try again at two more times.

I'd start feeling the nausea and swelling.

We celebrate begin setting up the nursery.

Mm.

Yeah.

Only to wake up feeling betrayed by my own body.

No.

Yeah.

No not by my fourth time we knew better than to celebrate.

Yeah we knew better than to tell our friends or think of baby names.

We hadn't even packed a suitcase for the hospital when the contractions started.

Yeah.

All right.

Two pushes.

Two pushes stop.

Take a breath.

Take a breath.

One more.

One more.

This is it This is it.

Come on come on.

There you go.

We have made it.

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh yeah.

What what is it?

Mm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Maybe they just took pity on me.

It wrapped her in a pink blanket and put on a diaper.

Yeah.

Only one should ever wear.

Mhm.

And I stared at this beautiful little girl long eyelashes mm.

Her daddy's nose.

My chin.

Yeah.

The little mouse that would never take a breath.

I knew there would be no further conversations.

Mm.

No more tense.

Yeah, we were done.