[giggling]

Aww!

[inhales]

Things were all peaches and cream.

Aww...!

You may think Mr. Eugene H. Krabs,

owner and founder of Krusty Krab Inc.,

has always been the financial wizard he is today.

[humming]

And you're right!

[laughs]

There you go, son. Your outfit's all finished.

It's a good thing Old Man Jenkins

was kind enough to spare his last washcloth.

Oops.

I missed a spot.

Then one day, while Plankton and I plotted our revenge,

I met the love of me life.

What in Neptune's name is that?!

[angelical music]

It's the most beautiful thing me eyes have ever seen!

- What is it?! - It's money.

Money...!

Yeah, you can buy things with it.

Buy things?

So, I spent it on a gift for me best pal Plankton.

[screaming]

[beeping]

Is it quitting time already?

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm off to enjoy some of life's essentials.

Ooh!

Did you hear that, Krabs?

By cooking burgers for those cretins,

he was able to gain their li-spect.

Did you see that fat stack of loot?

I bet if someone made a better burger,

they'd have a fatter stack of loot.

[ka-ching]

But who has the ability to make such a burger?

Who has the skill?

Skill, schmill, Krabs, baby.

Who needs skill when science is on your side?

We'll make that burger, and when we do,

we will rule the school!

[cackling]

Stand at attention, Mr. Krabs!

I want you to tell me the meaning of this!

Oh, that sir?

Why sir, that's a sea-cucumber sandwich, sir,

with the crusts cut off, sir.

A little booshie-amusie for the boys, sir.

This is the navy, son! We don't cut the crusts off!

We eat the crusts and throw the rest away!

But that's... that's madness!

I'm telling you for the last time!

You're gonna have to stop making your food so delicious!

But I don't know how!

Well, you better figure it out!

I need my men wide-eyed and hungry, Krabs!

We've got a cargo-hold full of suntan lotion!

Get 'em boys!

Uh, what do I do?

Get down to the cargo-hold and check on the captain!

Charge!

Hup! Hey! Hoy! Ooyah! Hah! Woo! Close one! Ha-ha!

Ooh! Yah!

Aww, he's kinda handsome for a crusty old cuss.

[sobbing]

I can't do it. I'm weak.

Snap out of it, man!

Hah!

[gasps]

Eww!

My personality!

Whoops. Uh, let me put that back.

[grunting]

Oh, my!

Nice! Feels good!

Whoo! Ha-ha! Whoo! Missed me!

Ah, ooh, ah, oh! Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo! Uh-oh.

Uh, anyone for cherries jubilee?

Finish him off!

Huzzah for Mr. Krabs!

Ha-ha! The sunburn brigade!

Ha-ha! Me plan worked!

[laughs]

Handsome and clever, I see.

And for years, I drifted the high seas as a pirate.

And booty did abound.

I started to notice a recurring theme.

[gasps]

I just wasn't turning enough profit.

So I fired me crew and sold me ship.

'Twas also the last time I saw me granddad.

Arrr, if it ain't me pirate grandson.

Well, actually, Grandpa... I just sold...

Ya know how proud it makes me to see me only grandson

continuin' in the family business.

[chuckles nervously] Yeah, Grandpa...

And I'll be keepin' me eye on yer career

to see how you progress.

Just remember,

the only rule in the Pirate's Code of Honor is:

Never tell a lie.

Hey, Mr. Krabs, you got a second?

Anything for you, Jimmy, me boy.

Cop a squat and lay your wreck

and tell me what's on your wig, Jim.

Cut the gas, Krabs, and dig this:

I've been bustin' my conk for you.

You better lay on some extra gravy,

or I'm going to agitate the gravel.

What now?

You know, lay a patch.

Excuse me?

Give me a raise or I'm quitting.

A raise? Hmm, that's not in my hiptionary.

Help me get with it, Jack.

Stop talking like that.

These sideburns aren't real.

I need more money in my paycheck

at the end of every week, capiche?

[laughing]

My hair! My beautiful hair!

My hair! My hair!

So last year!

[laughing]

Hold on, Gina. Yeah, Dad?

- How's it going? - Fine.

- What are you up to? - I'm talking on the phone!

- Oh, really? - Really.

Oh.

Dad, isn't there something you need to do?

Well, actually, I was hoping

you and I could do something together.

Get out!

That's it, Dad. Get a job, get a hobby,

or get some friends!

Because I can't take it anymore!

[slams door]