- I'm the leader of a big, fancy band now

and we are supposed to play the Bubble Bowl next week.

- The bu-, bu-, bu-.

The bu-, bu-, bu-.

The bu-, bu-, bu-.

- That's right.

I'm living your dream, Squidward.

The problem is, I'm busy next week and can't make it,

so I was hoping you and your band could cover for us.

- Oh. (stammering)

- I knew it!

You don't even have a band.

- I do have a band and we're gonna play that Bubble Bowl!

- Good luck next Tuesday.

I hope the audience brings lots of ibuprofen.

(phone hanging up)

- I've got to drum up a marching band fast.

Okay now, how many of you

have played musical instruments before?

- Is mayonnaise an instrument?

- No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument.

Horseradish is not an instrument, either.

Okay, try to repeat after me.

(clarinet playing)

Brass section, go.

(brass instruments playing)

Good, now the wind.

(wind instruments playing)

And the drums.

(spitting)

(whooshing)

Too bad that didn't kill me.

- [Narrator] Day two.

(band playing)

- Okay, that's perfect, everybody!

Bubble Bowl, here we come.

Flag twirlers, really spin those things.

Okay, turn!

Flag twirlers, let's go.

I wanna see some spinning.

Flag twirlers, let's move!

Come on, move!

(whooshing)

(exploding)

(trumpet playing)

- [Narrator] Day four.

- Well, this is our last night together before the show

and I know that you haven't improved since we began.

(gargling)

But I have a theory.

People talk loud when they wanna act smart, right?

- Correct!

- So if we play loud, people might think we're good.

Everybody ready?

And a one and a two and a one, two, three, four.

(instruments playing loudly) (glass breaking)

Don't bother showing up tomorrow.

I'll just tell them you all died in a marching accident.

So, thanks.

Thanks for nothing.

- You're welcome.

- What kind of monsters are we?

That poor creature came to us in its hour of need.

A one, a two, a skiddly-do-la-do.

(bubbles whooshing)

- I knew this was going to happen.

They're just gonna have to find another band to play.

- I just wanted to watch you blow it.

So, where's your band?

- They couldn't come.

They died.

- Then who's that?

- (screaming) that would be my band!

- We're ready to perform, Squidward.

- [Announcer] Okay, football fans.

Put your hands together for the Bikini Bottom super band.

(crowd cheering)

- Okay, everybody.

(laughing)

Let's get this over with.

One, two, three, four.

(trumpets playing)

(keyboard playing slowly)

♪ The winner takes all ♪

♪ It's the thrill of one more kill ♪

♪ The last one to fall ♪

♪ Will never sacrifice their will ♪

(upbeat rock music)

♪ Don't ever look back on the world closing in ♪

♪ Be on the attack with your wings on the wind ♪

♪ Oh, the games will begin ♪

♪ And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah ♪

♪ And it's ours for the taking ♪

♪ It's ours for the fight ♪

♪ And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah ♪

♪ And the one who's last to fall ♪

♪ Sweet, sweet, sweet victory ♪