Hi, my name is Alicia, and today, I'm going to be picking a date based on their dog.

I have a cat; she is the love of my life.

She is my Doja Cat.

Doja is the sweetest girl; she's very sassy.

I love dogs; I am not responsible enough to have one myself, which is why I have a cat, but I love dogs.

I am a dog person and I am so excited.

What I'm looking for in a match is somebody who is vaccinated and supports the "Free Britney" movement.

I'm not sure if I'm gonna end up going on a date with a guy, if I'm gonna end up going on a date with a woman, but I'm open and I'm excited either way.

Hey, how it's going? My name's Gavin.

Uh, this is my behemoth of a dog, Heftie.

I love Heftie because he has got a lot of personality.

I think the number one priority for me is somebody who can love and accept this giant the way that I do.

I think she's gonna love him, but I think it'll be like, "Oh, my God, he's so chunky, bulldog, oh."

I think he's a shoo-in to be picked; it doesn't get much cuter than this little meatball.

Hi, I'm Janine, and this is my dog and wing woman, Meatball.

I got a tattoo of her right here.

Honestly, Meatball is a hit.

People wanna talk to her and then I'm, like, you know, "That's Meatball, and, um, I'm Janine."

Me and Meatball both have all of our shots, so, uh, we're ready to get out there, meet some people, get some smooches.

Go in, be very nice⏤thank you⏤tell her I'm nice.

You got this, champ; no pressure, but it's do or die.

This is my love life.

Hi, my name's Hannah, and I'm here with my dog, Penny.

She's kind of a reflection of me; I'm very independent and she also is very independent.

She's like my... my child, so it's really important to me that whoever I date loves her as much as I love her.

She is my best friend.

We try and do everything together.

She's kept me sane throughout the pandemic.

I don't know what I'd do without her.

Penny, please don't embarrass me.

You wanna get me a date?

Yeah!

I'm ready to meet some dogs; let's go.

Hi!

Come here, buddy, hi!

Dude, you are chunky.

"You are chunky", what did I say?

This is a solid dog, you guys, like, you would protect me, huh?

Hi, oh-ho-ho-ho, I got the good spot right there.

If he sits on people, that's how you know that, like, he likes them.

"Hi, my name is Heftie. I'm a five-year0old English bulldog."

"I love going on picnics with my parent. Anything outside that involves food, I'm all-in for."

I could've guess that you liked food, dude, you're chewing on your leash like it's a treat.

I knew it, I knew he'd chewed on his leash.

Okay, so, I love that his name is Heftie, because that just makes so much sense.

Um, it tells me that the owner definitely has a sense of humor.

I love bulldogs, I just love, like, I hope that the owner can't hear me saying this, but I love ugly dogs.

[He's] Not ugly!

I think Heftie's owned by a hipster and that's cool, I like hipsters.

I wore the wrong shirt today, didn't I?

Bye, Heftie! Nice to meet you, I hope your owner is as cute as you.

Hi, baby!

This is a cute, little sausage.

You're so adorable.

The coat is very soft.

[A] lot of people talk about the soft coat; it's a hit.

Let's learn a little more about you.

"Hi, I'm Meatball."

That's the cutest name so far.

Cutest name.

I come on strong 'cause I'm excited to see you, but give me a few minutes, I'll be asleep on your leg.

Anyway, wanna kiss?

Ooh!

Meatball's flirting with me.

What kind of vibes am I getting from Meatball?

I definitely think that Meatball is probably owned by a comedian, because the name is hilarious.

Nailed it.

I love it when people name their animals after food.

When I first got Meatball, she didn't have a name for, like, three weeks, and I would just call her random things, and I literally was making a meatball pizza, and then I called her Meatball.

And my roommates at the time ran out and were like, "Her name's Meatball."

And then it... it worked, it's great.

This seems like the kind of dog who definitely is gonna give you, like, high energy when you need it, but also definitely down to, like, snuggle and take a nap, too, which I like.

Yes! Finally, Meatball's being understood.

I definitely think I would vibe with Meatball's owner; this is definitely the kind of dog that I would adopt.

You get all the perks of having a dog, but,, kind of, like, the energy of a cat.

She's, for sure, half cat.

Meatball, do you support the "Free Britney" movement?

Meatball wants to free Britney; she's very passionate about it.

Bye, Meatball, nice to meet you!

I hear a pitter patter of tiny feet.

No frickin' way!

Hi, sweetie.

Oh my gosh!

"Hi, my name is Penny; I'm a two-year-old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel."

That's a really long breed.

"Everyone says I act like a puppy."

"Like my owner, I'm up for anything, whether it's an all-day hike or an afternoon lounging on the couch."

"I love naps."

Me too.

I have lots of love to give, as you can probably tell.

I can tell, Penny.

Penny.

She's not focusing.

She doesn't pay much attention.

Okay, can you sit?

Come on, Penny, focus!

Oh... oh, you got an inch, I don't know; that might've been a fluke, let's see.

She's always scratching her ears.

Sit.

Good girl.

You guys, she's really itchy; should I be concerned about that?

I swear she doesn't have fleas.

I feel like Penny's owner is a girl.

I don't know why, but I just have a feeling.

I am.

Is your owner as cute as you are?

She's probably cuter than me.

You can tell that she's well-taken care of, well-groomed, and these are all really good signs, you guys.

Good job, Penny!

Bye, Penny, I'll miss you.

All right, so I met three really cute dogs today.

First, we had Heftie, the bulldog who was indeed very hefty.

Super cute, very loving.

Then we had Meatball, who was just a total ham.

I love Meatball.

Next, we had Penny, who was just the prettiest girl I've ever seen.

She was adorable.

Okay, this is so hard, you guys.

I love Heftie, he was so cute, but I just feel like he was a little too, um, how do you say it, rambunctious, is that a word?

I love the way he waddled around on his back, but you know what, he kinda left me smelling a little like dogs.

I own a dog.

Dogs smell like dogs; I can't really do anything about it.

I could bathe him, but then he'll smell like wet dog, and I think wet dog smells worse.

So, that leaves us with Penny and Meatball.

Both super sweet dogs.

I can tell that they have great owners, but at the end of the day, I think that Penny was just a little bit mellow for me.

Oh, a misdirect!

If Penny wasn't number one, then it wasn't meant to be.

I like to have fun and that's why I'm gonna pick Meatball, because Meatball was just a joy to play with, a joy to see, and I'm really excited to see who owns Meatball.

You made the right choice, I'll say it.

- Hi. - Hi.

- How are you? - What's up?

- I'm good, how are you? - I'm Janine.

- Alicia. - Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too.

Thanks for picking Meatball; she's... she had a lot of good things to say about you.

Oh, did she?

Yeah, she's adorable; we definitely had a good time.

- She's a big flirt, so... - She is. Yeah.

I keep trying to tell her, "Calm down, go easy", but what can I do, you know?

So what do you think, do you wanna go on a date?

Yeah, I'd love to. Meatball's crying, so she would also love to.

All right, we're on our way to get some juice and we got our buddy with us, hi!

She knows how to work the camera angle.

All right, here we are, we're on our date.

Meatball is big chillin'. And one other person complimented Meatball, so...

That is true; somebody was trying to swoop in on my girls.

- It's been a fun time, you guys.

- Yeah. - We had a good time on our date.

Definitely feeling like I picked the right choice.

Meatball is a winner.

Meatball's a good one.

Cheers to Meatball.

- Cheers to Meatball. - To Meatball.