Who's that at the door?

It's me, Blanche.

He's really brought new meaning to the word 'solicitous'.

[laughing]

What was the old meaning again?

I wanted you to meet Doug for a very important reason.

Well, why?

Blanche, we're getting married.

That's impossible, Clayton. Brothers can't marry sisters.

Oh, that's right. You're from the south.

This has to be the biggest disappointment of my life!

Yeah, and I've known some real disappointment too, believe me.

Rose, you're not gonna tell us that story about the exploding

pig again, are you?

I never told you a story about an exploding pig, Dorothy.

It was a peg-legged pig.

Our possum was the one that exploded.

I was just trying to be kind.

- Courteous, helpful... - Oh, knock it off!

I've had it up to here with your cheerful disposition.

Aw yeah, do you think it's easy to be cheerful around you two?

You know how many of these stinkin' hot toddies I have to drink

to keep on a happy face?

Let me tell you about a lesson I learned when I was a little girl

in Saint Olaf.

If you hold a bird gently,

the bird will stay.

But if you squeeze the bird, his eyes will bug out.

And Mr. Pet Shop Owner gets very huffy and he won't let you

touch the birds anymore.

- And the mice? He won't even let you-- - Rose...

What is eight times six?

OK, now that we have a few minutes...

Someone was actually able to deceive me once.

Do tell, Rose.

St. Olaf's most famous OBMAG.

- What's that? - Obstetrician magician.

The amazing Shapiro.

He delivered Bridgette.

It was so confusing.

It's a girl, now it's a dove.

Now it's a glass of milk.

I don't know how he got her in that deck of cards.

But there she was, right after the king of hearts.

Is this your baby?

Miles is my dancing partner at the ballroom.

Oh yes, and tonight we were the king and queen of the rumba.

Ole!

- I made dessert. - Damn.

- What did you say, Blanche? - Yum, I said yum.

Rose, is this another one of those Scandinavian Viking concoctions?

Yes!

It's called gnerken furkin cake.

It's an ancient recipe, but I Americanized it.

So one might say you brought your guflerkin urkin into the 80's?

Yes, but I'm not one to blow my own furturbin flurvin.

I can't even reach mine.

I knew I never should have gotten involved in this mother-daughter pageant.

I just wish I'd known how to say no to it.

I know what you mean.

I should have said no to the Miss St. Olaf beauty pageant

It was 1951.

That was the first year they let humans enter too.

I was way ahead after the evening gown and log rolling competition.

People don't realize how hard it is to roll a log

when you're wearing an evening gown.

And the shocker is I lost out on the intelligence quiz!

Rose, hand me that newspaper.

No, you're gonna hit me with it.

No, I won't.

- You promise? - I promise.