- Haiyaa.

Okay, here your vegan salad.

Look so sad. - Wow.

- Just like your face.

(pleasant music)

Last time, Uncle Roger got fired from shoe shop.

Haiyaa, it okay, you still growing.

So today, Uncle Roger back to find another job.

This time I working at this coffee shop, VCR.

This is my boss for today, Kenneth.

- We are a small establishment, roasting coffee.

We serve specialty coffee

and also we bake our own breads.

- Usually Uncle Roger, I drink coffee.

I drink the kopitiam coffee.

You know, the little cup with the flower on it.

Asian coffee shop cup, so pretty.

But look the at their cup, so boring.

Just black.

Why you change the design to this boring Ikea cup?

- Yeah, basic bitch, just like your orange shirt.

- Haiyaa, I haven't started working here,

got insulted by boss already.

Where your HR department?

How you roast coffee?

- So we have a roaster that is actually a machine.

- Haiyaa, why use machine?

Just use wok.

Wok roast coffee, got wok hay.

There no such thing as machine hay.

Boss Kenneth, I brought my own walk with me.

So I just pour coffee?

- No, you need to measure.

- You need to measure?

- Yeah.

- No, Asian people, we don't measure.

- Oh no.

- We just use feeling.

Give me the fire, where the fire?

Haiyaa.

Trying to roast stuff for you

and you don't give Uncle Roger fire.

See all this wok hay?

Your machine can do this?

- Please don't burn the kitchen down.

(bright music)

- See?

Roasting coffee.

Just like making egg fried rice.

So simple.

(upbeat music)

Fuiyoh, I told you, making like this, better.

- [Kenneth] It's so uneven.

- That make life more interesting.

But now it time for Uncle Roger secret ingredient.

M-S-G.

Boss Kenneth, have you had MSG in your coffee before?

- [Kenneth] No.

(upbeat music)

- Now this is coffee on crack.

Sasa is company who make Uncle Roger favorite MSG.

And this week show is sponsored by the new product

Sasa (speaking in foreign language).

In plain English, SASA fortified seasoned flour.

This flour so innovative,

it the first and only seasoned flour

approved by Indonesia FDA.

Come with Sasa platinum care plus technology.

It has all the vitamin, mineral, and fiber you need.

You use this to deep fry stuff.

It actually healthy.

Fuiyoh.

Uncle Roger recently made fried chicken with this.

I just used this flour, no salt, no pepper.

And it tastes amazing

because this flour already contain MSG in there

along with special and quality blend of spices.

This advance technology keep all the good benefit

even after frying process.

Niece and nephew, if you in Indonesia,

use this flour to make fried chicken.

Don't need to go to fast food place.

Don't get COVID.

Just make fried chicken at home.

This healthy flour, so affordable.

Only 46 cents per pack.

Use Sasa fortified seasoned flour for healthier Indonesia.

Go check out petition.

They make link in description.

(upbeat music)

Now you have to teach me how to make coffee.

- It's very simple.

Pull this out, wipe this down.

(machine whirring)

- So you grinding coffee use machine also?

- [Kenneth] You can't grind with your hands.

- Why not?

- [Kenneth] It's very hard, Uncle Roger, the beans are hard,

just like your life.

- You understand me so well, boss Kenneth.

- Yes, I see you with Auntie Helen, not doing very well.

- Haiyaa, don't bring her up.

That bitch dead to me. (laughing)

- [Kenneth] Wait, wait, wait, you need to tamp.

You need to tamp.

- Tamp, what?

- [Kenneth] But we use a machine here.

- You need machine to pat thing down?

Why you even hire people?

- Just slot this in.

And just the middle button.

- Oh, let me guess, machine make coffee also?

- Ah, we set the parameters.

So machine make half of the coffee for us.

- Machine make everything here.

Don't even bother coming.

We get machine deliver to you.

- Milk is there, you can fill up at the line.

- Uncle Roger use finger to measure the milk.

- Oh ee, you can't dip your finger into the milk.

- Haiyaa, if you get COVID from Uncle Roger finger,

you deserve to die.

Boss Kenneth, this job suit you?

You so many tattoos.

- [Kenneth] Mm hmm.

- I take one look at you,

I know this guy know how to make coffee.

- [Kenneth] My tattoo is all about coffee, Uncle Roger.

- Oh, telling people about your tattoo

is like telling people about your dream,

nobody care.

(pleasant music)

Haiyaa.

You give Uncle Roger too much milk.

Stop showing off.

Is COVID time, everybody order take away.

Nobody can see your art, the lid on it.

- This is no art.

This is like instant coffee.

- What wrong with instant coffee?

Come in packets.

So simple.

Earthquake hit your house,

you can still drink coffee.

You can't get this coffee in middle of natural disaster.

Hello, hello, what you want?

What you want?

- Do you have any single origin filter coffee?

- Single origin? - Yeah.

- What that mean?

What that mean, barista?

- So, single origin means there's only, there's not a blend.

- I asked what it mean,

you tell me what it don't mean.

- One country, one farm, one crop.

- Oh, I'm an Uncle Roger roast my own coffee.

That single origin also.

Come from Uncle Roger.

Want?

- [Customer] Yeah,

I might not want that one. - No, that's a blend

because you added MSG.

- (sighing) Okay, we have single origin coffee.

We have Ethiopian coffee.

- What does it taste like?

- What it taste like?

- It tastes like floral notes.

It has roses, has hibiscus and chrysanthemum inside.

- You're drinking coffee, not eating flower.

We drink coffee so we can get through day without crying.

Who drink coffee for enjoyment?

Haiyaa.

Okay, here, your single origin coffee,

Uncle Roger always wonder, does this thing actually work?

Let's see how hot it think the coffee is.

(temperature gun beeping)

Oh, this coffee have COVID.

(customer laughing)

Hello, hello.

Fuiyoh, look at this.

It's like Chinese New Year and funeral in the same outfit.

- Oh.

- What you want, what you want?

- I want coffee, but it make it extra bitter.

- Coffee, but extra bitter.

- Extra bitter.

- Haiyaa, why so sad, your life?

- What you want, what you want?

- Ah, do you have orange juice?

- Orange juice, of course we have orange juice.

- Is it fresh?

- Of course it fresh.

We make orange juice every day in the kitchen.

Haiyaa.

- I don't believe you.

- You don't believe me?

Fine.

Uncle Roger make orange juice for you right now.

Freshest orange juice.

I squeeze in front of you.

See?

So fresh.

Here, enjoy.

Hello, hello.

What you want?

- Uh, can I have the Wifi password?

- Wifi password?

- [Customer] Yeah.

- No, you need to be customer first.

Don't look at that.

I know it's there, but don't look at that.

- Of course I will order something.

- Okay, what you want?

- What's your favorite?

- What my favorite?

Haiyaa, just order something.

Everybody know you just here for the wifi.

Boss Kenneth, you fucked up.

Your coffee shop too comfortable.

Too many people bring the laptop here,

buy one coffee, stay for five hour.

How you stay in business?

This coffee shop so many people using laptop.

Uncle Roger so annoyed,

I gonna just unplug the wifi.

Haiyaa.

(connections clicking)

See?

Now people come here just for coffee.

(router clanks)

Hello, hello.

Little nephew, what you want?

- [Customer] Hello, hello.

- What you want at Uncle Roger coffee shop?

- Uh, egg fried rice.

- Egg fried rice?

You at wrong place.

This is coffee shop.

We don't have fried rice here,

but we have this depressing thing called quinoa.

Quinoa is white people version of egg fried rice.

It the worst food.

If vegetable taste like sad,

then quinoa taste like death.

Healthy food make you live longer

but also make you want to kill yourself.

So irony.

- What other food do you have?

- Barista Jo, what food you have?

What food you have?

- We have butter croissant, we have almond croissant,

we pain au, and we have a cheese danish.

- Haiyaa.

Why your food so white?

Why so white?

Who opened this coffee shop?

Jamie Oliver?

Do you also have chili jam here?

Hello, hello?

What you want? - Hi.

- What you want?

_ I would like a soy flat white, please.

- Soy flat white.

Why?

Why not a regular flat white?

- I can't have dairy milk.

- You can't have dairy?

Haiyaa, so weak.

Why so weak?

One drop of milk, you cannot handle.

Do you eat beef?

- Yes, I do.

- You eat beef?

- (laughing) Yeah.

- So you can eat cow, but you can't drink cow?

So weak.

Okay, flat white for weak people.