he think he can make Uncle Roger's fried rice better?

Haiyaa.

- If you know Uncle Roger, you know he's a pretty good

judge of fried rice.

And he just released his own fried rice recipe.

And some might say it's a perfect recipe,

but I know we can make it better.

(swishes)

- Really?

He don't even look like chef.

He look more like guy who own more Bitcoin than friend.

Can he make Uncle Roger Fried Rice better?

Uncle Roger be the judge of that.

(upbeat music)

Niece and Nephew, Uncle Roger Youtooz figurine

is now live.

Put this little Uncle Roger on your desk

and people know you good at making rice.

Go buy it now, link in description.

They even have free international shipping.

That right, they ship this to you for free!

Postman don't even get paid.

Go buy this figurine now, because once this design

sold out, then no more this design.

(Uncle Roger smooches)

(static)

(upbeat music)

- Now let's begin.

- For the record, I actually love Uncle Roger,

I've watched him multiple times,

and I find him very entertaining.

- Oh, thank you, thank you Nephew Joshua.

He even dress up like me Fuiyoh!

But his orange polo not the same

as Uncle Roger orange polo.

I just get from random shop.

His orange polo have that little man on horse logo.

Let's see where he get it from.

Haiyaa, 85 pound for polo!

He think money grow on tree.

So expensive.

Who he think he is.

Uncle Roger can buy that little man on horse

for three pound, and iron on shirt.

And see, he also wearing Rolex, what is this?

Is this egg fried rice video a fashion show?

- Double onioning this one, all right,

I respect that.

Ooh, when he chopped that green onion,

his hand was like this, and he was just like.

(hand bangs)

- Don't worry, Uncle Roger single,

very confident in my right hand.

(Uncle Roger laughs)

(upbeat music)

Sorry children.

(beeps)

- The book, all the by the book.

He sauteed his veg soften, his eggs go in.

- Look at this, the headphone not even plugged in.

He just giving the illusion of listening,

just like me in my previous marriage.

- We have the data that we need,

Uncle Roger, that's a good looking fried rice.

Now, I do think that we can do better.

Before we can even start making your fried rice,

you need, well, rice.

It must be leftover cold rice.

- Correct, correct.

- [Joshua] But that said, let's talk about

how to cook your rice.

Uncle Roger is correct, the holy grail

of rice cookery is a beautiful rice cooker.

(Uncle Roger gasps)

- Is Uncle Roger hallucinating?

This is first white guy with rice cooker!

Uncle Roger impress, because he using same brand

of rice cooker as Uncle Roger.

It's this one, the Zojirushi, baby elephant brand.

If Uncle Roger go to your house

and I see you have baby elephant rice cooker,

I know your rice gonna be good.

But this rice cooker may be too expensive

for some Niece and Nephew.

If Niece and Nephew poor, just buy random $25 rice cooker,

and then get Zojirushi when you have your shit together.

- [Joshua] This is my Zojirushi, and the link

will be in the description.

To make the rice, place a nice medium grain white-

(Uncle Roger gasps)

(dramatic tones)

Colander?

- [Joshua] Rice in a metal sieve, set over a bowl.

Fill it up with water-

- Okay, okay, he just using colander to wash rice,

not to drain rice, like BBC Food.

This one okay.

But look at him, so much equipment just to wash rice.

Uncle Roger, I just wash my rice in rice cooker bowl,

no need extra equipment to wash rice.

Haiyaa!

- [Joshua] Place that in a rice cooker,

and add roughly equal parts of water.

This was two cups of medium grain,

so I used about two cups of filtered water,

but you can always use the finger test.

- Ah, he use finger, use finger, not bad.

- [Joshua] Now close the lid, start the rice cooker,

dance to the song of its people.

(electronic melody plays)

- Uncle Roger rice cooker sing the same song also.

See.

(electronic melody plays)

Before K-pop, this is all Uncle Roger listened to.

Rice cooker pop.

(electronic melody plays)

- [Joshua] For our fried rice sauce,

get a small bowl, add a one-inch knob of galangal

that's been finely grated, one teaspoon of sesame oil,

one tablespoon of Malaysian sambal,

three cloves of finely chopped garlic,

one tablespoon of sweet soy sauce,

and one and half tablespoons of double aged soy sauce.

- This sauce look good, better than

Cowboy Kent's secret sauce.

Ingredient all correct, but why he measuring everything?

Haiyaa!

- [Joshua] One tablespoon of, one teaspoon of,

three cloves of, four and a half tablespoons.

- I think he have to learn from Uncle Roger

favorite chef, Chef Juan.

- When you're a great chef, we don't measure things,

we just throw.

- Nephew Joshua, just throw.

Measure this, measure that, so anal

And he wash rice with that special colander

machine equipment thing.

Haiyaa.

Now you have 25 more thing you have to wash up.

I think this Joshua guy never clean his own kitchen.

He like torturing his cleaner.

- [Joshua] Now we have another important thing

to do before we make our fried rice,

but first let me show you my woks.

Gordon mike have two woks.

(woks clatter)

But I, have three woks.

- Fuiyoh!

Like Uncle Gordon, Nephew Joshua is wok fuck boi also.

Hmm.

I hope he more faithful to his girlfriend

than to his wok.

- [Joshua] Fill it with about three cups of vegetable oil,

and your shallots, and begin constantly

stirring with chopsticks.

And as soon as your shallots begin to reach

a golden brown, immediately remove them from the oil,

and those are your fried shallots.

- Uncle Roger think this crunchy texture

go well with egg fried rice, give it good mouth feel.

- [Joshua] Now, let's finish this bad boy off.

Get your most beautiful, big, juicy wok.

- He talk about wok so sexual.

- [Joshua] Beautiful, big, juicy, juicy.

- I think this Nephew Joshua turn on by his wok,

more than he turn on by his girlfriend.

I wonder how their relationship is.

Nephew Joshua, do you use finger test

on your girlfriend also?

(Uncle Roger laughs)

- [Joshua] Drizzle in three tablespoons of vegetable oil

and begin heating over medium high.

Swirl the oil around your wok,

and keep heating-

- He seasoning the wok, good,

you supposed to.

- [Joshua] Pour your oil out,

from there, I added three and a half tablespoons

of cold-smoked duck fat.

- Cold smoked duck fat?

Fuiyoh!

So fancy.

(k-Pop music) ♪ Fancy ♪

- [Joshua] You literally just take some

rendered out duck fat, place it in a small bowl,

wrap it in plastic wrap, insert a tube

of a cold smoke gun, such as a Breville-

- Nephew Joshua, just flexing on us right now.

First the little man on horse polo,

then the Rolex, then the cold smoke gun.

Haiyaa.

Who this cooking video for?

Billionaire people?

Uncle Roger didn't know I have to own a yacht

to watch this video.

I think he made so much money from all the Bitcoin

he bought.

- [Joshua] Wrap it in plastic wrap,

insert a tube of a cold smoke gun, such as-

- And the way he loading this smoke gun,

I can tell, nephew Joshua smoke weed before.

- [Joshua] Then let it sit for five minutes,

and repeat until it's as smoky as you like it.

Maybe a little overboard, but just trust Papa.

Anyway, heat that over medium-high heat,

add in four cloves of thinly sliced garlic,

two finely diced shallots, two finely diced-

- Shallot good, chili good, correct, correct.

- [Joshua] And two green onions,

which have been finely-

- Oh green onions so soon?

Uncle Roger like green onion as garnish,

but at least he not putting green onion

first thing into pan like Jamie Oliver.

- [Joshua] And stir fry over medium heat

'til all of your vegetables are beautifully softened and-

- Okay, look like the green onion not wilting.

Good, good, this one okay.

- [Joshua] Crack two to three large eggs,

whisk them together 'til homogenized,

then add them to your stir fried vegetables.

Add three and a half to four cups

of already cooked cold rice, then add two teaspoons

of ground white pepper, then two teaspoons of,

you guessed it, MSG.

- Mmm, that is the most beautiful sight,

to see the waterfall of MSG go into the rice.

- [Joshua] MSG.

- Fuiyoh!

So nice.

When Uncle Roger go to therapy,

and they ask me to think of my happy place,

this is it.

But again, Nephew Joshua, don't need measure,

just sprinkle, just sprinkle.

- [Joshua] And two teaspoons of MS-

- What is with this teaspoon, tablespoon,

half cup bullshit?

You making egg fried rice, not developing

vaccine for COVID, no need measure.

- [Joshua] Toss that all together,

turn off the heat, and finally,

grab some strawberry jam and-

- What?

(dramatic music)

- That's a joke, that's a joke all right?

(Uncle Roger sighs)

- Uncle Roger thought he all step correct so far,

but then suddenly join the dark side,

with Jamie Oliver and his chili jam.

(Uncle Roger sighs)

Almost gave Uncle Roger heart attack.

- I'm not gonna make that mistake.

(spoon swishes)

(glass crashes)

- Don't just throw spoon, throw out the whole

bottle of jam also.

- [Joshua] Instead, add your fried rice sauce from earlier.

Stir and toss that together until evenly distributed.

- Good, good.

- [Joshua] Then just pop your fried rice

onto a nice plate, hit it with your incredibly

quippy fried shallots, thinly sliced green onion-