There we go. You can wake him up now, nurse.

[groaning] What- what happened?

I finished your nose job, you silly goose. Take a look.

SpongeBob, you idiot!

This isn't even close to what I wanted!

Well, why didn't you say so? Oh, nurse.

Wait, no, no, no! I want a different doctor! I--

No!

No! [trumpeting]

No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No!

No-o-o-o!

Aw, that's amazing. Congratulations, you're hired.

Cool.

Well, it's no Krabby Patty, but perhaps I'll find contentment.

Hey, buddy, how's the pizza coming?

Almost done. But I did change the recipe a bit.

[chuckles] Well, no problem.

Few extra toppings never hurt anyone.

Huh? What have you done?

You've turned an innocent pizza into... a pizza patty.

It's an abomination!

There, yeah.

♪ La la la la la ♪

[sighing]

[toilet flushing]

[grunting]

Phew.

Sometime today, Mr. Pants.

May it please the court,

ladies and gentlemen of the jury.

My client has been called cheap,

miserly and chronically tight-fisted.

Uh. Mm.

But, if he were as cheap as the prosecution claims he is,

would he be able to sit there quietly,

while I took out a dollar and dropped it in the blender?

[gasping]

No! No-no! No!

Daddy's got ya. Daddy's got ya. Daddy's here.

[chattering]

Hey, Sheldon.

SpongeBob?

What in the seashell are you doing here?

Mr. Krabs arranged for me to work here on weekends.

He wants me to keep an eye on you.

Excuse me. Doesn't this count as cruel and unusual punishment?

Pipe down, pip squeak.

Look, they even gave me a training baton.

[squeaking]

Now, this seems like a long pants establishment.

Today's special is a most amusing

Indian Ocean sea grass,

handpicked by indigenous prawns, pre-chewed by local manatees

and then smothered in a rich red algae.

[chattering]

Extraordinary. And may I add,

those are very impressive britches you're wearing.

Britches? Oh, these old things.

Okay, places, everybody.

Squidward, are our heroes ready?

As they'll ever be.

[gasping]

They're beautiful.

They look just like they did 30 years ago.

Okay, action!

I love my new job.

Good job, Sandy.

Your room, sir.

And I'd like to order room service.

I'd like a Krabby Patty with cheese,

toenail clippings and nose hairs.

[gasping] You've got to be kidding me.

And I want it here in five seconds.

Yes, sir.

Here ya are, sir.

Well, you got your stinky sandwich.

Now eat it.

Oh, I'm not going to eat this. You are.

What? You're out of your mind

if you think I'm going to eat that.

Shh. That's not really a Krabby Patty

with cheese, toenails and nose hair.

Oh, now, I get ya, boy.

[giggling] Alright, Squidward.

[laughing]

SpongeBob!

Sorry, Mr. Krabs, we were all out of cheese.

Hooray!

20, 40, 60, 80, 90, 95, 96, 97.

Order up! [dinging]

What do you think, boss?

Clam shells. What have you done, boy?

I told you to build me a house, not a sandwich.

Hey, Taco Man, may have a job por favor?

Mm. All right, let's see what you can do with a burrito.

How about that?

Interesting.

It's some sort of burrito patty. Mm.

Who'd like to taste it?

I'll give it a go.

You're fired.

[crying]

[crying]

[banging]

You're fired!

And take your noodle patty with ya!

Oh, I'll take it, all right. I'll take it to go!

Good day, class.

[screaming]

I must be having a nightmare!

What's he doing here?

Didn't you read the note Mrs. Puff?

Here, I taped it together and saved it just in case.

"Dear Mrs. Puff, I'm following in your footsteps

and got a job as a driver's ed teacher

for the summer. Heart. SpongeBob."

Yow! Get me outta here!

[groaning]

[groaning]

Now let's open our drivers ed hand books

to chapter one.

Milkshaking sure has changed over the years.

Very good. But how does it taste?

Maybe we need to get back to basics.

[singing]

[singing off key]

[singing]

[singing]

[singing]

♪ Figaro, Figaro Figaro ♪

It's so beautiful.

♪ O-O-O ♪

♪ O-O-O ♪

That's the most wonderful singing I've ever heard.

[crying]

♪ O-O-O ♪

[grumbling]

Mr. Weenie?

Congratulations, SpongeBob. You've been promoted.

But you just fired me.

Ah, that's mustard under the bun, my boy.

The important thing is my customers love

your little sliders. Now get to work!

I'm pretty sure this is illegal.

Where's the leader? Do you see him?

Oh, he'll be here. Don't worry.

Larry made me the man I am today.

Oh, look at that.

He taught me, just do stuff you always do,

but do it on your back. Laugh on your back.

[laughing]

Walk on your back.

[grunting]

And don't forget, always be hydrating.

That means drink plenty of water.

Ah.

I hope Larry's okay.

But while we're waiting, I guess

we can ride bicycles on our backs.

[grunting]

Right this way, please.

Good evening, sir. From our menu tonight,

might I recommend the Krabby Newberg?

We take the finest cuts of aged imported kelp,

stuff them with herbs from our garden,

wrap them in parchment

with our award winning shallot tapenade.

Slow roast 'em for six hours

in our wood fired clay-filled oven or kiva

and serve them with a garnish

of wilted coral on a mahogany plank.

Mm. This is fantastic.

Thank you, sir.

Make way for a couple of ontre-prenyouers!

Okay, Patrick, this is it.

The first step on our road to living fancy.

Just follow my lead.

Good afternoon, sir.

Could we interest you in some chocolate?

Chocolate? Did you say chocolate?

Yes, sir. With or without nuts?

Chocolate?! Chocolate?!

Chocolate! Chocolate!

Chocolate!

You should be the maitre'd!

Greeting customers when they come in!

Charming the pants off of everyone with your long pant!

[laughing] Okay.

Hi. How are ya? Looking good. Mustard with that? All right.

How is that patty treating you, sir?

Are you an angel?

No, merely a man. A man in long pants.

I'm sure with all my years in the kitchen,

I can make something

other than... [laughing]

Just warming up!

[growling]

[shrieking]

Come on, SpongeBob.

[whistling]

[dinging]

[shrieking]

[growling]

Just one egg and...

Oh! Gah!

Nope, that's not it either.

You are making a mockery of my...

This taste is... it's fantastic.

What do you call it?

A Krabby Patty.

The whole world must take this.

Hi.

I'm sorry, Plankton, I'm trying my best!

I'm not used to cooking this way.

Please don't take my brain out.

Hold it, SpongeBob.

I'm capable of compassion and understanding.

Really? Then I'd like to go back to the Krusty Krab.

SpongeBob, you've got a choice to make.

Your friends or your career?

Squirrel jokes! Squirrel jokes! Squirrel jokes!

[gasping]

Howdy, y'all!

Oh, yeah!

Hey come it takes more than one squirrel

to screw in a light bulb?

Because they're so darn stupid!

Quick, Patrick, use the jetpack.

Can do.

[screaming]

Phew. Huh?

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

Boy, it was lucky the sidewalk broke our fall.

But we lost Plankton.

To the spy mobile!

Hmm, mines, oil slick, smoke screen, shield.

Self destruct.

[beeping]

[laughing]

[panting]

Emergency! Everybody out of the water!

Hurry! Emergency! Out of the water!

Emergency!

What's going on, lifeguard?

What's the big emergency, sir?

Uhh... there are sharks in there!

Hey, that's my family you're talking about.

Uhh... sea monster!

You know, we sea monsters have made great strides

in the fields of science and literature.

Uhh, somebody went?

It's a big lagoon, dude.

No, don't go!

[groaning]

Food! Food! Food! Food!

We did a good job.

Bikini Bottom looks so clean now.

Hey, buddy, you need a ride?

I was just on my way to the big doofus convention.

[laughing]

This is humiliating.

I'm a fry cook. Darn it! You can take away my spatula,

but when you take away my dignity,

that's when I get mad!

I'm going to march right into Mr. Krabs' office

and tell him that this is just too much!

Oh.

[groaning]

Citizens of New Kelp City,

I don't know much about politics or balanced budgets.

Or how to be a leader.

I'm not exactly sure what a mayor is.

But I do know this.

While I am wearing the mayor's hat,

it will always be safe to blow bubbles on the streets

of New Kelp or my name isn't CheeseHead BrownPants.

[cheering]

And why aren't you in uniform?

It's about time you got here!

Here you go, Your Majesty.

I can't drink that.

Why not?

Are you blind? Just look at it.

Uh-huh, this looks shady, very shady.