Ah, ah, ah!

Oh, yeah!

Hi, genie!

Are you really a genie?

Of course I am.

Now, as a genie, I command you to take me to Mr Krabs.

Would you like to hear an exciting story

about brave Sir Patrick and the fire-breathing dragon?

[roaring]

[meowing]

And I said, "Go ahead, let's do it right now.

I got too much hair anyways."

[laughing]

SpongeBob! SpongeBob!

That's my name. Don't wear it out.

[laughing]

Salutations, young one.

Hey, you wouldn't happen to know

that starfish that lives under this rock, would you?

Uh? No, I don't know any starfish.

[grunting]

[grunting]

I've been growing these babies for years.

[both] Sideburns...!

[evil laugh]

Perfect.

Yes, excellent!

[laughing]

[flute music playing]

[sighs] Salutations, my children.

Are you ready for your daily dose of smooth jazz?

[clapping]

Welcome to my rooftop garden.

Romantic grotto,

sparkling berry mineral soda waterfall,

and my personal favorite,

a 130-foot-long sculpture of my unibrow.

Psst, Mrs Puff, it's me, SpongeBob.

I think this will go smoother if you just refer to him as "Duke".

[sighs] You mean to refer to you as Duke.

Of course, how else would one refer to me?

I am a duke, after all.

You sure look grown-up with that new beard.

Wow! You really think so?

And everybody knows that grown-ups never play with kids.

And on that note, I would like

to personally commend the sea star

for taking his first baby steps into the adult world.

Facial hair is a good start, I suppose.

My name is Patrick, Patrick Not Star.

Patrick Not Star?

No! No...!

You aren't the one I'm seeking!

I will never find Patrick.

He wins at hide and seek. He wins. He wins.

So he wins. What's so bad about that?

Well, if he wins, I lose.

Did you have fun playing?

[sniffs] Yeah.

Well, then it's okay to lose, as long as you had fun doing it.

[lawnmower engine] Well, if it isn't little SpongeBob.

Land a firm one on me, Bobby.

I need your help to rescue my parents.

Sure, little Bobby.

I could use some help with the lawn.

But you're gonna need this if you wanna do it right.

Hey, that's cheating.

- No, it's not. - Yes, it is!

- No, it's not! - It's, too!

- It's not! - It's, too!

[whistling]

- Um, guys? - Anyway, shoe's untied.

- It's not! - It's, too.

Guys!

- It's not! - It's, too.

Hey, everybody, it's Leif Ericson Day!

Hinga, dinga, dirgin!

Oh, yeah, perfect.

We look ridiculous.

Nobody's going to buy this disguise.

[groaning] I agree, this is a horrible idea.

See? You guys are agreeing already.

That's the first step to cooperation.

Meatball, meatball, spaghetti underneath.

Ravioli, ravioli, Great Barrier Reef.

Okay, now let's hear that formula.

Sorry, no can do, Mr Krabs.

What?!

My name is Monty P. Moneybags.

The world-famous art collector?

The one and only.

All right, Gary, listen up.

The competition is gonna be fierce.

You're the undersnail.

Everybody's already counting you out.

Now get out there and win so we can rub

Squidward's big fat nose in it.

Welcome to the Milkshake Academy.

I'm your instructor, Captain Frostymug.

Let's not beat around the bush here, boys.

Your mama's not here to wipe the whipped cream

from your chinny chin chins,

and I'm not here to help you with your bendy straws.

I always wanted a beard.

Me too!

[laughing]

Do you want one too, Squidbeard?

[laughing]

Ooh...!

Just act like you're another fancy customer.

- Aye, aye, Mr Krabs-- - Shh!

Why did you do that?

Man, that fur really hits the spot.

No more frozen armpits.

And this highbrow-goatee combo works like a charm.

This is the best idea we've ever had.

"Headbands equal no service."

Barnacles, our disguise's only weakness.

Mayday! Big Red, contact has not been established.

Mission abort! Mission abort!

Rawr!

Hiya, SpongeBob.

[screaming]

Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.

There's a yeti-crab at table seven,

and he is sniffing out the lazy.

[chuckles] Of course he is.

Nice costume, Eugene.

Couldn't you at least have it dry-cleaned or pressed?

[roaring]

Didn't brush this morning, did we?

But I'm not a weenie.

[whirring]

I'm sorry, sir, but my sensors indicate

that you are indeed a weenie.

[beeping]

That's impossible!

Let us battle!

Take that!

Huh?

This is dry-clean-only, your monster!

Huh?

"Property of SpongeBob?"

[roaring]

Uh-oh...

[screaming]

You call this a pirate crew?

Way more reasonable jellyfishers than sporty brine skimmers.

Um...

[laughs] I'm just yanking your chain, boy.

You look like a fine pirate crew.

[off-key] ♪ Oh, sole mio...! ♪

SpongeBob, I will be late to practice

with all of your tomfoolery slowing me down.

Your dad sent it, it's already paid for.

I'd sooner believe space aliens sent me a free pizza

before I believe my dad would.

Now, who are you?

Um, uh...

Hey!

Patrick, what are you doing here?

Just tubing down the river of life, baby.

Does Mr Krabs know you're in here?

Hey, no crabs.

Let's unload all that harmful information

in your little yellow head.

You're a bit smaller than I imagined, doctor,

but I guess that's why they call you a shrink.

[laughing]

[tense music playing]

We're doomed!

At least you're way too old

to stop me from stealing a Krabby Patty.

What was that, sonny?

It'll take more time to explain than you have left.

What?

[laughing]

He got the Krabby Patty!

- Catch him! - Catch who?

Allow me to introduce myself.

I am but a civil old-timey gentleman.

I came here for one purpose today...

So I said, "It didn't smell so bad, but it--"

Quiet, granny, I'm talking!

Oh.

And that was the story of the great train keeper.

Didn't you find it exciting?

Shh! I just beat my high score!

Oh, yeah!

Eh, kids today...

[snoring]