I guess I'm just a failure.

No, I was shook.

I was sad.

I morphed into a mama bird and regurgitated my love straight into his gullet and now I'm going to do that for you.

So listen up, baby ba cha chose because I'm here to tell all of you.

Male identifying motherfucker's exactly what you need to shut up about.

Number one as evidence, Shut up when you're putting yourself down.

Okay, stop talking about my friend that way.

If you're about to call yourself a failure a loser, a good for nothing, You shut your face.

That's sign language for No, Well I guess I'm going to be single forever because no girl would ever love me.

No.

Shut your beautiful, masculine mouth with that bullshit because you are lovable.

You are worthy.

Your partnership status does not reflect your inherent shine peanut.

And just because $100 bill has somehow drifted into the gutter doesn't make it any less valuable for the person who finds it and says, oh my God, Hello Benjamin!

Where have you been all my life?

I'm just short, fat and ugly.

No, listen, baby boy, I do not want to hear you bash your banging corporeal form.

Did I say that right?

I guess because guess what?

Triple B's, It's not about what you have, it's about how you use it take it from me.

I've dated many an ugly man.

Men shorter than me.

Men who resemble a sweet sweet Pillsbury doughboy because here's a secret Women can overlook attractiveness if your personality is pristine.

If you treat me like a queen and if you have a gigantic sense of humor, it's on obviously like listen to consent and don't be misogynistic.

But ultimately what I'm saying is you have a chance and look, I'm not saying you should repress any of these negative feelings or your thoughts because we're all human.

And I know society, you know, tells men to like push it down to man up to not express what's considered weak or girly.

But what I want you to do is to stop believing in those things to actively work on yourself so that those phrases don't come out of your luscious lips.

And I know being a man in today's society comes to a lot of toxic language, expectations, lack of deep connection with other males and being a man probably means you don't get compliments on your outfit because every top shop male selection I've seen is quite small.

I know that you have to navigate how to actively not come across as a creep and to attune to the ever changing rules of society and public spaces and you have to adjust your balls all the time.

I cannot fathom how exhausting it is.

Can you even cross your legs comfortably.

I think not and I pity you in all seriousness.

I sympathize.

I empathize.

I feel compassion for the journey that men have laid out before them and how far they have come, but I will not let you stand in my presence and insult my friend with these uncouth, untruth.

So if you're going to disparage belittle, berate or abuse my baby boys, shut your beautiful face and its magnificent mouth.

I'm anna O'Connor.

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