I really don't know what to do about Fiona.

Yeah, that's a hard one.

I don't want to just end a friendship but it's been level 10 chaos lately.

I know what to do.

Behold the decision maker.

As old as time.

A good old fashioned pros and cons list begin.

We've been friends since high school history pro.

She's really fun to hang out with one on one.

Okay.

Pro fine.

Except for when she's in a group setting, she becomes an entirely different person.

Especially if there's a guy around.

It's like you don't even exist in competitive for attention.

Yeah.

It's also weird that she hooks up all of our friends with these guys who had crushes on her that she just keeps around.

Yeah.

What's with that?

It's like she wants her friends to date men who have had an affinity for her.

What do we call that?

Like a need to feel superiority compared to the other women in her life.

In a sexual space.

Internalized misogyny.

Big con big con.

But she can be very giving.

Okay, so approach generous but her generosity is based on stealing.

Are you saying that because all of her boyfriends have been meant she's stolen from relationships.

Con stealing.

No, I'm talking about the international Women's Day gifts.

Oh you mean those customized earrings she gave everyone?

Those were so sweet and thoughtful.

Yeah, that was my idea.

I told her I was gonna do that for you guys and she straight up stole it and did it.

Oh my God.

Okay, underlying stealing.

But her intentions were good and I was just really upset by it.

Okay, pro well intentioned, right?

I mean, the the path to hell is paved with it.

But what else?

She has a cult?

A cult?

Yeah, she runs a cult I guess.

Okay, well, I really don't know if I should classify that as like a pro or a con because it really does depend on how the cult is utilized.

It's definitely a pro for her and it could be a pro or a con for us, depending on how she wields it.

Okay, let's call that neutral neutral, right?

Cult.

It's in neither category and then it'll shift based on the cult, collective movements and actions.

I'm also loving a female cult leader and cults are so male dominated and I get it like all cults are technically bad, but feminism means that we should have equal opportunity for evil for women.

Absolutely.

You guys, Sorry, I'm really stressed out here, I love her.

But the friendship isn't nurturing anymore and there's just so many issues piling up that I don't even have clarity on how to feel anymore.

Okay, you know what, let's just say, let's say fuck the pros and cons list.

Right, Okay, let's go back to the brass tacks.

I have one question for you, one question that will assess how much you can trust her, how safe you feel with her and whether or not she should be in your life moving forward and that question is would you trust her alone with your boyfriend?

No.

Okay.

Well, well looks like you have your answer.

If you can't trust her to act with integrity around a partner because she has a problematic nature and the need for male attention and validation then.

Yeah, you're right.

I think I'll call her and have a talk with her to end the friendship as much as it pains me to lose her.

The pain of continuing to have her in my life is so much greater.

Maybe.

Well maybe maybe you should go first given she's a cult leader, right?

Yeah.

You know what they're called to come after you.

That would definitely shifted into the con category.

Yeah, that that's a big con pro.

There could be a reality show.

That's true.

Pro reality show.

Reality show like that reality show, but another potential con death.

You could have a murder documentary.

If you do die.

If I die, then I could have a murder documentary.

That would be cool.

Oh my God, reality show, Murder dog Infamy Infamy Infamy is a pro infamy could be on netflix.

Oh my God, netflix.

Maybe maybe Daddy netflix.

Okay, looks like it's pro.

Okay.

I think we've got a plan.

Made a choice.

I think it's a pro it's a pro, this really helped.

Let's hang out with her.

She call her.

Okay.

Yeah, I'm anaconda.

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