Jessica Bills here.

Big fan, Big fan of Jessica Bill, Did you watch our new show?

Candy?

So they're spreading it out across the week.

It's like, it's like an event.

It'll be every night on hulu.

Um, and like for me, I'll watch any show that's called Candy.

Yeah.

So it took me a minute to realize that it isn't about candy.

It's disappointing at first and then you're like, oh, I know it's still good.

Yeah, but it's true.

You can't make a show in America about candy because all of the candy here sucks.

Right?

That's your reason.

You know, I love, you know, I love candy in the UK.

I celebrate it.

It's fantastic.

We still have good candy disagree.

It's wonderful.

I disagree.

It's fantastic.

And then name me, What's that?

Gonna give me five good ones, skittles.

Kitkat Butterfinger.

Right, okay, everybody calm down snickers.

This was this was this was a conversation with me and just start throwing out a Butterfinger already.

I'll come to you.

No, I believe a kit kat is it.

Can I talk for a minute?

I believe a kit kat is an exceptional treat.

Okay.

Except except here in America, the chocolate sucks.

Whereas in the UK, it's exceptional.

Thank you.

It's it's crazy that you're from England, but still sounds like you studied abroad there.

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

It's just it's just a very studied abroad in England?

Oh, you can't get good candy here in the States, you know?

And they're from Tucson?

Yeah, I stand.

I stand by.

Maybe we would have had more time to work on candy if we're not saving your butts in World War Two, The big one.

I get it.

You're right.

You're absolutely right.

You're absolutely right.

And given the choice, I'll be like, yeah, yeah, I'll take you saving us, you know, in World War Two, if you will hold your hands up and go, it's because of that.

Our candy sucks.

Look, we can do this all day.

We can sit around basking and let's be honest, what is witty repartee, but we can't, we have work to do.

We have a duty to America and that's to give them the news.

Yes.

Mm hmm.

Right.

Yeah.

Okay.

Good evening.

Uh, gasoline prices have hit yet another all time high.

The national average price for a gallon of gas is now $4.40.

Or as we in Los Angeles call that the good old days, this actually won't affect me.

This doesn't affect me.

If you know, I don't have anyone.

I don't know if you've noticed this.

I've started, um, started riding a horse to work.

That's right.

Absolutely love it.

You have to admit the timing is pretty good.

Right?

As the pandemic restrictions starting to ease up.

I love this.

We've got a brand new excuse for not going out.

It's brilliant.

I'd love to, I'd love to, I'd love to go.

You just all the way across town and at these prices, you know, and here's some news from right here in southern California?

Los Angeles residents are now being asked to help with the local water shortage by cutting their shower time by four minutes.

Yeah shouldn't be a problem.

I know every time I'm in the shower I time it to the minute.

Every time just cut it by foot.

How long are people spending In the shower?

They say average it's 10 minutes.

Stop.

Yeah.

No.

Yes you're joking me.

Me no joke.

What?

That's what they say.

I couldn't believe it and if that's the average that means there's people who are in there for like 20 minutes probably.

Oh my God I'm in and out.

I think in a solid three or four if I cut four minutes off my shower I'm going to be in the shower for negative three minutes.

Yeah you're absolutely right.

I don't, how long do you?

I bet crabs a long shower I can just see it.

I bet you get in there.

I bet you lather up.

Oh man you better get a solid lava going.

There's a real system about 25 minutes.

No you don't.

No you don't not that long.

Not that long but how long?

I bet you're in there?

A solid 10.

I bet you do every toe just a bit of your O.

C.

D.

Coming out.

Yeah probably like 10 to 12.

Kind of a carwash approach top down willie?

How long are you showering?

What's that?

What's that?

What's that?

How long is your shower?

So if I don't wash my hair it's 10 minutes.

If I wash my hair it's 15 stop.

What are you doing for 10?

What do you mean your three minute shower is insane.

That means you're not showering.

Come on.

How long does it take?

How long does it?

I'm trying to I'm trying to think what I'm doing there For 10 minutes but you pride yourself on not using soap or shampoo, shampoo shampoo.

So I don't wash my hair on his head.

I don't wash my hair.

I wash it about every two months.

That's a true story.

That's true.

Yeah.

No that's not cool.

You guys are dirty.

No we nasty.

I don't think we are not nasty.

Yeah we're nasty.

Who here?

Who here was a show of hands when you shower are showering for over nine minutes.

See you're the problem you were clean.

That's the difference.

Okay well we're just we're trying to we're trying to protect the planet Winnie so you know what there is no Planet B yeah I'll be ready for it don't you worry about it And everyone here about this according to new reports early on in his presidency.

Donald trump repeatedly asked national security aides if china had a secret quote hurricane gun to launch?

Manmade hurricanes at the United States?

You hate to see it?

You hate to see stories like this leak out and tarnish an otherwise impeccable record.

Mhm trump trump asked if china had a secret hurricane gun which is ridiculous if it were secret his aides wouldn't know about it.

Think it through.

And I gotta tell you this an era has officially come to an end after nearly 22 years.

Apple is discontinuing production of the iPod.

I hope apple can recover from this for any young people watching an ipod.

An ipod is basically like a phone that can't phone anyone.

It only plays music but you have to buy that music first.

Okay, all you can use napster but not the napster they got now is a different napster that was illegal because it was stolen basically free Spotify.

So I can't believe how hard it is to describe but now that it's fully discontinued that means we're about three years away from gen z hipsters only listening to music on ipods.

I can remember vividly the first time I saw an ipod rob Brydon rob Brydon showed me his ipod and I get blew my mind because I was stood there with a discman and a case logic that was like this big with 50 C.

D.

S in it.

I couldn't believe it.

I was going to wait.

All of this is in there.

So yeah.

Yeah.

1000 songs.

It's it's amazing.

It was amazing.

I had the weirdest stuff on my because when napster first came out and it was just like a free for all I downloaded like speeches.

So I was like, you want to hear Stalin give a speech.

Mm hmm.

I haven't, I never used napster napster never really sort of became a thing.

I'm sure it did for many people but not for me at home.

But I did spend hours and hours and hours putting every Cd I owned on there, which was pointless because I would just listen to the same three all the time.

I was never listening to that.

You know, 98 degrees only have three C.

D.

S.

Yes.

I don't know what's got into you today, but you know, and I know it was O town and they had two albums.

Mhm And they slapped thank you madam.

And finally we absolutely had to show you this.

An order of fish and chips in the UK is going viral.

Why would an order of fish and chips go viral?

I hear you ask.

See if you can figure it out.

Look at that, That's exactly what mine looks like.

Including a bed of chips.

It's true.

The fish and chips went viral luckily there's medicine for that.

Can we see the plate again?

I like that.

He really mixed it up.

He's small chips, medium sized cod circumcised.

That's the news.

We'll be back.

Yes.

Thank you.