Why I tied up like this?

Ah, Uncle Roger, I've been sent by Auntie Helen

She's not happy that you've been mentioning her in all your weejios

Auntie Helen? My ex-wife Auntie Helen?

You tell her, I'm not scared of her

Oh really? She knew you were gonna say that

So we have something special plan for you, Uncle Roger

What?

You have to review Jamie Oliver's Thai red curry

No no no

Please please no, tell her I'd do anything she want

So I'm gonna make the most beautiful Thai Red curry with prawns

Lemongrass, in all the supermarkets

Just trim off the ends like that

Lemongrass correct

Come on, review it properly

It's Jamie Oliver, he must have made some mistake

He cut the wrong end

You need to cut the hard end, why you cut the soft end, haiyaa

Jamie, see?

Nephew kidnapper, even he know you fucked up

And then just give it a spank

If you smell it

It's also released that incredible

Why he like spanking thing?

Sherbet lemon sort of smell flavour

Absolutely gorgeous

So I've got the lemongrass

Haiyaa, food processor

Use pestle and mortar

I'm gonna put a heaped teaspoon of tomato puree

What?

To...tomato puree for...

What is this?

A heaped teaspoon of tomato puree

Haiyaa, nobody use tomato puree for Thai red curry, that the wrong thing

Nephew kidnapper, cut off my rope

Uncle Roger want to put my leg down from chair

This must be fastest Uncle Roger ever put leg down from chair

He really is Usain Bolt of fucking up

Nobody use tomato puree for red curry, what is this?

You trying to make bolognese is it?

Then, I'm gonna put four of these roasted peeled peppers

Pepper?

Kinda smokey sweet flavour

Four of these go in

Wrong again

Tomato puree and red pepper

I think Jamie going 'Oh, I'm making red curry today'

Get all red things in kitchen and throw in there

Good thing he not working next to fire extinguisher

He gonna put that in too

Really good, kinda smokey sweet flavour

Four of these go in

And then I've got this bunch of coriander

Coriander...so much?

Big handful stalks

We want coriander root, not coriander

One chilli and then garlic

Wha...

Chili, I'll use one chilli

One chilli...

ONE?!

Remember, niece and nephew

Jamie Oliver making his green curry

He used 3 chillis

And we all know that is not enough haiyaa

One chilli, why even bother?

Red curry like this, one portion, we use 10 red chillis

One chilli?

Use the right amount, not the white amount

And then garlic, 2 cloves of garlic

Haiya, garlic crusher for what?

You gonna blend it all in food processor anyway

Garlic crusher is the whitest invention

Uncle Roger only see white people use it before

Nephew kidnapper, you white

Do you have any garlic crusher at home?

See? what I tell you

Why so white?

So white

And he can't even squash

Ginger

No, wrong, galangal, not ginger

Then I've got a secret ingredient, okay

Lime leaves, incredible

So put about 4 or 5 leaves

Not lime leaves, you want lime zest

Secret ingredient?

If by secret you mean wrong, then you correct

About 4 or 5 leaves of kaffir lime in there

Eh, look so bad

Those beautiful

Gross

Where got beautiful?

About two tablespoons of olive oil goes in

Jamie olive oil, no

Season with soy sauce

What?

1-2 tablespoons should do the trick

Soy sauce?

For your Thai red curry paste?

Who do that? Haiyaa

This is Jamie Olive Oil worst video yet

Nobody put soy sauce in Thai red curry haiyaa

Ok, ok, Uncle Roger, I'm gonna stop this

This video is giving you a heart attack

And I don't want to be a murderer

Don't you dare, don't you dare, nephew kidnapper

We in too deep now

All our ancestor crying

Uncle Roger need to avenge them

Press play, press play

Two tablespoons of olive oil goes in

And I'm going to seasoned with soy sauce

What the hell is this red curry paste?

Where your dry spices?

Where your white peppercorn?

Where your salt? Salt he don't have

And where your shrimp paste haiyaa

Shrimp paste, one of the most important ingredient in red curry paste

Should do the trick but we're gonna adjust that later

And a little bit of fish sauce

Basically a teaspoon of fish sauce

Fish sauce correct

But don't put in blender

Fish sauce you put in when cooking

But credit to Jaime

He using Tiparos fish sauce

That super authentic

1 point to Jamie

So now he at -9999 point

Basically a teaspoon of fish sauce

And a teaspoon of sesame oil

Sesame oil wrong

Look at that

So ugly, so clumpy

So you get all of that out there

Mark Wiens mother-in-low get smoother paste in just 4 pound

It like your food processor not even trying hai...

Jamie Oliver cooking so bad

Even his food processor give up on him

Just bang that on there, so you get all of that out there

In a hot pan, I wanna go a little bit of olive oil

Olive oil again

Wrong again

Paste in here first

All of it

All of it?

Jaime, don't use all of it, save some for your pasta tomorrow

Then I'm gonna go in with the prawns

No...

Frozen prawns, they are perfect, chuck them frozen now

No worries at all

Give them a little shake like that

No...not prawn

You don't just sauté prawn like that

You not making stir fry

Prawn is expensive ingredient and you ruin it like this

Prawn in red curry, you just cook in red curry itself

Like how you cook chicken in Thai green curry

No need to stir fry it first

He wasting prawn

Continue, continue

Give them a little shake like that

I'm also gonna get sugar snap peas

Sugar? no no no no no

Mangetout again

200 gram of the worst vegetable

This guy just love mangetout

Is he sponsored by big mangetout or something

Every curry he put that in there

And 200 gram of this shit

Versus one chilli

Oh my god, what the hell he doing?

Oh man, Auntie Helen is brutal

Yeah, she the most evil bitch

She make Putin feel like Mother Teresa

This just vegetable smoothie now

And then coconut milk

So literally I'm gonna bring this to the boil

And turn it right down to a simmer

And this will be ready in 3 minutes

A little bit of coriander

More coriander?

I thought you chop up the whole forest already

A little bit of lime juice

Lime juice, wrong

So I'm just gonna pour that

This Thai red curry, no Thai, no red, and not curry

Look at this shit

Absolutely gorgeous

This not Thai red curry

This British orange soup

Uncle Roger almost fainted from this

Nephew kidnapper, Uncle Roger done now

Release me!

Hello, who is this?

Hello Uncle Roger, it's Auntie Helen

Release me, you crazy woman

Let me go, what you doing?

Let you go?

Maybe I'll think about it when you get more subscribers

Than Jamie Oliver

No

Niece and nephew. hit subscribe now

Help Uncle Roger get more subscribers than Jamie olive oil

Otherwise I cannot make any more videos for you, haiyaa

I wish I could tighten it myself

This looks more like a sex rope

It does a bit

It looks like lingerie

The thing I do for my niece and nephew

Haiyaa

This my editor

He thinking...

Why the hell I have to do this?

I don't get paid enough for this shit

All part of the job

Yeah yeah, so it looks less lingerie

Torture Garden

It actually looks like I want to be here

Kidnapper roleplay

Yeah we should have gotten.. thicker rope

I do mention the emotional damage guy in my set, so

I could just do a "emotional damage!" from the audience

Yeah, if you want, if you want

Okay

I wouldn't mind, I wouldn't considered that a heckle

I'll bring it, hell yeah

Do it, do it

Oh my god, that's funny

Steven He is here, guys