I rememberwhatwe'redoing, wearedoingthebelonEbonyshowshowforvoguemagazineandwhatwe'regonnado, we'regonnado a howtoonanupdofirstandforemostwhatweusuallydothedecks, thedecks, thefamousBellatradeofdecks.
I thinkweshoulddo a bag.
There's thatthingthat I loved.
I mean, I wantedtogolikeherewithmakeup, I wantedtoget, wewanted a littleprosthetictongue, a prosthetictongue.
I don't knowwhowasgonnaallowthis.
Well, I thinkfirstwe'regonnastartoffbyjustlikequicklytryingonthepieces, seeingiftheyinspireus, basically I'vegonetoalreadytwojobstoday.
Forsomanyyearswhen I wasworking, I wassoexhaustedandsowhen I wouldbelikedoing 14 hourdaysand I wouldhavetogotoaneventand I amjustlikepullmyhairbacklike I cannot, I havetostayawakeand I couldn't evenhave a motion, I couldn't smileanythinglikethat.
Solikewhen I woulddowiththesnatch, myfacewouldjuststaylikethis, I wouldjustbelike, she's there, Wedon't knowwhatemotionshe's feelingbecauseshecan't reallymoveherfacerightnow.
I'm stilljustpreppingthebaseofBella's hair, basically, I'm justironingoutallthekinkswemetwhen I waslike a babyassistant, thatwaslikethefirsttimewemet, I just, myjimmydays, I justknew, I justknewhewasgonnabe a star.
I didn't knowwejustfellinloveimmediatelythefirsttimewemetandyouknow, withthatkindofcreativityandtalentandmixedwithhardworkandgreatworkethic, it's a winningcombinationandyou'vegotitbabyand I'm soproudofyouandallthat, you'vedonemyGod, we'reonlylike 10 secondsandyou'realreadygonnamakemecry, I loveworkingsofunbecausewegettohangoutwithourfriendsandlikecreateourownlittleworldandgetlostin a fantasyandlikehowisthatnotamazing, That's thebeautyofitall, islike, we'reall a bitmentallyunstablesoweare a bitmoremakesyoureallyfeelsomethingandthat's whatwecravetheserotoninoflikeputtingon a wigmadebymy, oneofmybestfriends.
Like, justbecausethoselittlemoments, youknow, theymattertomeand I knowtheymattercheating, youhavehadsomanytransformation, somanycharacters, somanylikestories, shouldwedothesnatch?
Ohyeah, bringittothesnatchcatchy, youtaughtmehowtodothesnatchhonestly, because I wastaughthowtodo a snatch, butyoutaughtmehowtodo a snatchsnatch.
Yeah, sothesnatchOlaishappeningaswespeakandwhatdo I alwayssayifmoneyuseyourmuscles?
Hereweareinyourhairdown a lotlately, butthesnatchissogood.
She's hardtoavoid.
I swearonmytombstonewhen I'm, when I pass, it's reallygonnasayliketighter, tighter, I'm gonnaspendsometimecleaningupthegrainnowforme, likemyhairheroes, dragqueens, I learnedsomuchfromthem.
Likewhen I firstmovedtonewyork, I waslikehomelessbasically, andwastakeninby a houseofdragqueens.
I livedinWilliamsburgandtheyliterallytaughtmelikeeverything I knowaboutwigsandlikethebestadvice.
Okay, so I'm goingtogoinandgiveher a chop.
I alsowantthosediamondsjustfor a little, a littlerazzledazzle, what?
It's almostlikewehangoutallthetime.
Okay, sobasicallylike, almosttwoyearsago, I wenttoheavenand I waslike f I wanttogetmyhairred, likebrightredandunfortunatelybeingincontractsandstuff, I wasn't reallyallowedtodyemyhair.
Soabout a yearago I wentabsolutelymentallywhen I cameoverand I bleachedmyhairand I waslike, make a sunsetonmyhead.
I wasgivingabsolutespiral.
ButEbony, guesswhathedid.
Hegotinthecarandhecametomyhouseandhediedmywholeheadand I think I keptitforliketwoweeksbecause I hadgone, you'relike, wait, I can't dothis.
I lookedlike a trolldollthathadbeenleftbehind, whichis a lookandit's hotinitsownway.
Sofunnyputting a oh, oh, beautyschooldropout.
I locatedtheaterwhen I wasyounger.
I really, I didhairspraycute.
That's fromhairspray?
No, no, that's fromGreece.
Whatpartdidyouplay?
Whereyou?
SandyGigiwasobviouslySandy.
Oh, hairspray.
I waspennycute.
Speakingofhairspray, I justworkedwithjohnwatersandthatwassuch a gag.
I waslike, holylookatyou.
Heis a hairhero.
Likealloflikethehairandhisfilmsislikeinsane.
I literallywoulddothisandthenpullitaroundhereandthenlook, wait, thisiskindofgonnabesoit's gonnacrossonthetoplikethis.
Andthenwhen I gohomeandshowerandlayinbedandbacktoBellandit's whoa, crazyexperience.
Yeah.
Becauseforsolong I wouldsayand I knowitsoundssoannoyingbutit's like I hateit.
I didn't wanttobemyself.
Solikethereason I loveartingeneraland I lovefilmandphotographybecause I lovetoseepeoplebeabletochangecharacterslikebesomething, they'renotorbesomethingtheydreamedorwishtobe, I loveher?
Youknow, thisishowwework.
It's likesorandom.
Likewehad a wholeplanandnow I'm justlikeinmyworld, thisisnothingwhenwespokeabout, whichisthebestpart I couldn't evenconnectwithpeoplebecause I wasin a differentcityorplaceeverysingledaywith a newsetofpeople.
I'd belikeinGreecewithliterallyrandompeople I don't know.
Andthenextday I wouldbeabletobemaybewithEbony, butthenthenextday I'm inparis, thenthenextday I'm inchinathenexttimeinDubaianditwaslikeconstantlydifferentenergies.
I wasreallyneverabletohavethosemomentswhere I waslike, ohthesearemypeoplethat I thinkthatthat's likewhyweconnectsomuch.
Yeah, like I don't haveallthetoolsyet, youknowwhat I mean?
I'm justlikelearningstillandlike, I don't know, youknow, I cansaymeditation, youcansayworkoutandlikeeatwellandallthesethingsandit's likeattheendoftheday, likeunlessyoureallygiveyourselfthesameenergythatyougivetoeverybodyelseandtoalltheotherpeoplethatyousupporton a regularbasis, likeit's justnotgonnahappen.
Andso I hadto, that's why I tooklastseasonoff.
That's whyafterquarantineinthefirstroundofCovid, I made a consciousdecisiontolikestartsayingnotothingsand I hatesayingnobecause I lovetomakemyfriendshappynow.
I'vegonetothepointwherelikethepeople I workforaremyfriendsandit's likeif I letthemdown, I feellike I'm lettingeveryonedownthat I'm lettingmyselfdown.
But I startedtorealizethatlike I hadtoputmyselffirstand I realizedtoo, likeif I didn't startnow, likeputtingmyselffirst, therewasgonnabe a pointwhere I wasjustgonnabelike, notabletodoanythinganymoreatallandhateeverythingandhatemylifeandmyselfandallthatstuff.
It's a privilegewithinitselftobeabletosaylike I'm gonnastopworkingfor a second.
I realizedaftereightyearsoflike, really, youknow, nevertaking a breakor a secondtolikebemyself.
I usedtodointerviewsandpeoplewouldaskmelike, what's yourfavorite, likefoodorwhat's yourfavoritecolororwhat's yourfavoritebook?
And I wouldliterallybelike, I havenoidea, I don't knowwho I am.
I couldn't haveanswered a questionaboutmyselftosavemylifebecauselike, I lefthighschooljustprettymuchlikebecomingeveryone's versionofmethattheywanted, butthen I realizedthat I wasneverabletofindmyselfwithinmyselfbecause I wasjustlookingformyselfandotherpeople's versionsofmeinsteadofjustlikebeinglike, whatdoyouwanttodotoday?
Bella, ifanybodywantstogetintomodeling, I wantyoutogettoknowyourselffirst, beforeyou, beforeyougetintothis.