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  • Hello, I'm Ira Glass.

  • Welcome to another episode of my new podcast.

  • Friends. Who needs them?

  • You do!

  • This week's challenge: Put yourself out there.

  • When a hand of friendship is offered to you, take it.

  • You can do it.

  • Now, go. Make some friends.

  • Make friends. Check.

  • Nice to meet you, Shelly and Sandy.

  • How was your day?

  • Oh, you want me to start?

  • How polite, Sandy.

  • I gotta warn you: It's got gummy worms, tater tots, and ketchup leather.

  • I know! No liverwurst.

  • It's not like me to forget the protein.

  • Yeah, I get it.

  • Nobody likes my sandwiches.

  • Whoa!

  • Is that peppercorn?

  • Sand!

  • There you are!

  • This mangy stray's done enough damage for today; he's coming with me.

  • He's not a stray.

  • Is he your dog?

  • He's, like, totally mine!

  • If you want to be.

  • I'd like that very much.

  • Okay, then. What's his name?

  • I don't have one.

  • He... his name's...

  • ... Snacks!

  • - What? - Snacks?

  • Uh... I mean, Scooby!

  • Middle name?

  • Dooby.

  • Last name.

  • Doo.

  • All right.

  • If the dog has a middle name... there's no punishment for damages or theft.

  • I don't like it, but them's the laws.

  • Well, have a good day, sir.

  • Mr. Dooby Doo.

  • I'm Norvel, but everyone calls me Shaggy.

  • Raggy.

  • No, it's Shaggy.

  • That's what I said. Raggy!

  • We'll work on it.

  • Shaggy, you and your new friend better hurry up if you want to trick-or-treat.

  • Yay! Okay, Mom!

  • Let me show you my room.

  • Who's that?

  • This is Blue Falcon; he's half man, half falcon.

  • What's this?

  • It's a bed; you sleep in it.

  • Soft! I've never had a bed before.

  • In fact, I've never had anything before

  • I ran out this afternoon and I got something for you.

  • I know we just met and I didn't want to seem too desperate or, you know, come on too strong, but...

  • I love it!

  • I promise I'll never take it off.

  • As long as we have each other, we'll be just fine on our own.

  • Uh...

  • What's the hold up?

  • The ball return won't return our ball.

  • Oh, there it is.

  • Zoinks!

  • Like, what is going on?

  • No offense, but I think I like you better as a bowling ball!

  • Me, too!

  • Look out!

  • What now?

  • Follow my lead.

  • Who's hungry?

  • Check out the specials!

  • So, like, what are you guys in the mood to eat?

  • And please don't say human.

  • Or dog.

  • Okay, bowling alley yakatori.

  • And how about you guys?

  • Hot wings to share?

  • Got it. And for you?

  • Oh, no! We're out of calamari!

  • Did we lose them?

  • [I'm] Pretty sure we didn't!

  • Looks like this is goodbye, old buddy.

  • I never saw Paris.

  • Huh?

  • Oh, man! Dig that crazy elevator.

  • You okay, Scooby Doo?

  • Yeah, I'm good.

  • Where are we?

  • - Do you realize where we are? - No.

  • Look around, man!

  • The clean modern aesthetic, the cool blue color palette, we're in...

  • - IKEA! - ... the Falcon Fury!

  • Did you say IKEA?

  • Nope. I said Falcon Fury, just like you.

  • Scoob, somebody thinks we're important enough to....

  • It's nice to be wanted.

  • Ow! What was that for?

  • Making sure this isn't a dream.

  • You're supposed to pinch yourself.

  • Finished?

  • - Ow! - Yes!

  • Uh, guys? Adventure's calling, and it's for you.

  • Hello, adventure. Yes, will you take my name and number off your list?

  • But Raggy, this is our chance!

  • - You really want to do this? - Uh-huh.

  • Well, I'm not gonna let you do it without me.

  • After all, there is no "I" in Scooby and Shaggy.

  • Wait, is there? No. All good.

  • - We're in! - We're in!

  • That's what I'm talking about.

  • FYI, you are officially out of... everything.

  • Yes! I love these guys.

  • Prepare your taste buds for a Scoob Shag specialty.

  • Whoa! You put jalapeño peppers on your ice cream?

  • Heat and sweet.

  • It's our signature dessert.

  • Hustle, you two, we haven't got all day.

  • Second thoughts?

  • Honestly, buddy? I'm on my fourth or fifth thoughts.

  • Oh, man. This amusement park isn't very amusing.

  • Hey! Did Dastardly get the anonymous tip, too?

  • - This way! - Yikes!

  • Haha, weak link, my butt!

  • Whoa, dude, what do you want with us?

  • I don't care about you; you're not remotely important.

  • It's the dog I need.

  • Stay! Sit! Kneel! Did nobody train this thing?

Hello, I'm Ira Glass.

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