Apparently this character here, Big mouth is called is inspired by me.

I don't mind it.

I think it's funny, I love it and I definitely don't want to murder whoever came up with it.

But recently I've been starting to wonder is this a parody or is it a prophecy of things to come.

Now?

A few days ago, after my 32nd birthday, I received the results of my king cautioned in literally health report was supposed to get one of these done every single year because I'm an idiot.

I hadn't done it in half a decade now already I wasn't in a very good place because I don't like getting older.

I didn't want to turn 32 years old.

The only upside that I can tell is if you're a Youtuber, You do get a shout out every year from famous birthdays.com reminding you how famous and brilliant that you are apparently on the 19th most famous Chris in the world after Chris Tucker and before Chris Motionless.

Get in although always good to take a website with a pinch of salt when they get your birthplace wrong by 400 miles.

And also up until recently I had my birthday wrong as well.

Bring into question the entire existential purpose of famous birthdays dot com.

Anyway, according to this bleak and unforgiving health report, I too will soon be chris motionless, check this out.

I'm overweight tick high cholesterol tick, high blood pressure tick a fatty liver, even though I don't drink that much alcohol.

Although I suspect I know which video is the sole reason for this health issue.

Alone.

B.

m.

28.7 that's classed as overweight, almost obese tick.

And by all accounts, I'll be dead by the end of this video.

Tick is actually anything good on this.

I've got all right, I've got some good, we've got some white blood cells.

That's good and it's got a nice smile.

Other than that though, it's not good reading.

And the doctor told me at the end if I carry on on this sort of trajectory of shit that I'm going to need to take tablets in my forties for like cholesterol and blood pressure.

Now, I know it sounds like I'm almost cheekily proud of this.

Like I've unlocked an achievement, get the most cholesterol award.

But honestly, I feel like I have let myself down.

I'm not happy with the state of my health.

I don't want to go down this pathway of being in poor health throughout my thirties.

You know, I don't want to be abroad in a body bag anytime soon and this has been the sort of wake up call that I've really needed for a long time now.

They might be thinking, well you don't look that bad.

You know, you certainly don't look like this just yet point to point out that the worst things are happening down here with my stomach just very carefully and cleverly concealed in the shop.

Also like all good youtubers I film from a slightly lofted angle, which is more flattering on the jaw line.

You know, as I always say, if you put the camera right there and film like this, then it's not that good, is it?

That's awful At this point.

You're also probably thinking, well cry me a river dickhead, you're just eating all the food.

What did you think was gonna happen?

Living off a diet comprised of saturated oil and breadcrumbs.

It's a fair point there in my rare defense, I don't actually eat like that every day.

These are sort of rare sporadic videos, not an actual reflection of my diet because I travel around so frequently.

I often do eat out or go to convenience stores and you know, on a Geary sandwiches batter instead of a nice lean chicken salad.

What I'm trying to say is it's not my fault that I'm like this, it's Japan, Japan did it to me, not my own terrible reckless decision making, but it recently came to a head when I realized how bad it was and like all idiots with access to twitter, I went on there and had a rant about it for a little bit saying how sort of disappointed I wasn't myself and some nice people came to my aid and said like jokes like this need to stop and what not, we need to stop making fan art of chris looking like a bowling ball or this fucking grotesque human tottering.

But I have to say like, you know, I enjoy this stuff.

It's brilliant.

This isn't the reason I'm feeling sad.

This is the reason I'm feeling sad, right?

Internal health reasons, Truth be told.

The most accurate fan art that anyone's ever sent me was this, Look at that from cd project red.

There I am with my sword taking on the trash taste thugs like looking into a mirror, Isn't it like that?

I can't all fan art look that good.

But when it comes to my health, surprisingly despite doing this physical appearance is bottom of my list of reasons for wanting to get fit.

It's those sort of physical manifestations, those symptoms of health issues, the tiredness and fatigue.

You know, it's sad looking back at old videos where I can perform physical feats like climb a mountain or ride a bicycle knowing I'm not fit enough to do such things.

Now, recently I found myself turning down trips with friends to climb the Japanese alps, something I've always wanted to do because I know I'll be coming back down in a bag.

How can I climb a mountain when I can barely get up this test?

In the past.

I've talked about Japan's obsession with fitness and how I was gently bullied a few years ago when I put on weight at the school, I used to work, students would like come and prod me in the stomach when I put on weight and my own colleagues would make thinly veiled comments like chris chris sense it, you look like you've enjoyed food recently.

It's not surprising given Japan does have one of the lowest obesity rates on the planet, but despite that sort of gentle bullying, it never really forced me to get fit.

You know, if anything, I felt more inclined to stay overweight as a sort of act of rebellion.

It wasn't until I got a health report like this in my third year of teaching telling me my cholesterol was awful that I actually got my act together and started jogging and started dieting.

Well, I'd like to say that I'm announcing some kind of incredible series like journey across Japan, let's walk 2000 miles edition.

In reality I'm actually off to the UK for the first time in about 2.5 years.

Next week, let's face it, I'm not traveling all the way to the U.

K, just to eat a caesar salad.

But beyond that, when I do return to Japan this summer, I am going to put self improvement, both physical and mental well being at the absolute forefront of everything.

I'm gonna do my goal for the end of this year is to be the fittest I've ever been in my entire life and hopefully not failing in a very public way.

I want to share that sort of process with you guys and you know, you also get tips advice from you as well, if there's a physical challenge in Japan that you'd like to see me kind of attempt or try or even outside of Japan will be completely open minded to doing that.

I'm open to your ideas.

What I'll say is I'm quite a goal driven person and I think if I set a goal of trying to climb a specific mountain or undertake a specific challenge, I think that's far more likely to happen than just saying oh I want to lose weight, you know, but just remember if you ever do want to get fit, it needs to come from within, it needs to be a decision you make and not because you're being prodded in the fucking stomach by an annoying colleague, but hopefully with this plan, with this goal in mind, by the end of this year, this will have become a prophecy, not this, Yeah, let's do it, let's make it happen, hold me to it.