today, we are doing more of that stuff. We are excited to announce the release of

a new version of your favorite plastic square. We call it the new iPhone. And we also call

it the iPhone Air, but more importantly, you call it the iPhone 6.

If your tiny head hasnt already imploded with this spontaneous release, well get ready,

because we're announcing two different iPhones today.

Incredible. Am I right? We've added so many new features to this new

iphone, but we only have time to discuss 4. Both new iPhones come in two different screen

sizes. The first comes in an all new 4.7 inch sapphire

display. This phone is not plagued by the same issues

that other phones of this size are riddled with because it was made by us.

The sapphire display is harder than anything your phone will come in contact with in your

pockets. Like keys or, other stuff. It wont even scratch in the event you it blocks

a potential stabbing. And for you in the wealthy 1 percentile, we

even added an option for a diamond display. The second iPhone is much larger display for

all you phablet lovers. Actually all we did was add a cell chip inside

an existing iPad mini. No one will know the difference, and we saved

a ton of money doing it. The iPhones are now waterproof for any of

your new wet experiences. Drop your iPhone in the toilet? No big deal,

just hose it off in the backyard. Your kid spill spaghetti on it? No problem,

just toss it in the dish washer. We have heard our users loud and clear. Finally

after they shut up and we were able to think straight, we added more customizability to

the iPhone. Users love how you can customize the Android

OS, but all that is just confusing crap. What about customizing the hardware.

So we're introducing customizable home buttons. You can choose from over 7 different emojis

to reflect current your mood. Choose wisely, cause your choice is permanent at the time

of purchase. One of our final innovations we've added to

the new iPhone is something you have all been waiting for.

NFC. Yes. Thats right. Not to be confused with Near Field Communications of which the

technology is years away, NFC stands for No Face Crumbs.

We found users using the iPhone camera as a portable mirror. We now made the screen

hyper reflective, so you can see yourself better than ever.

You can pre-order these new iPhones right now before their scheduled release in 6 months

time. What is great is that we have entirely new

aggressive price points for these new devices. The new iPhones start at just 399 with a 5

year contract. Once again Apple changes the game.

But theres one more thing. We have added new facial recognition software

to instantly recognize if you are a high profile celebrity and automatically share your private

phones from iCloud to your favorite social networks.

Nudes for everyone. You're welcome. Hey guys, hoped you liked that video, if you

did, give it a big like, and subscribe, because I make sketches weekly, there are some right

there, check them out! And don't forget to follow me on twitter for

my random musings, okay. High five.