the arcade version had that we, as SNES players, never saw. Did you know there was a crystal

level that was completely excised from the home version? As well as a stage that changed

the perspective of the game, turning it into a behind-the-ship 3D-ish... um... Fox escaping

from Venom in Starfox 64 kind of a thing? (That’s the best touchstone I can find.)

We got none of those. Chalk it up to this being a Super NES launch title (here in the

States, anyway). But back in the day, as today, I feel like this game is not left wanting

for the omissions. It’s 16 bits of Gradius. 16 bits of option-floating, laser-upgrading,

Moai-head-shooting chaos.

I could get into the whole history with the Bacterions and why you’re out there in the

Vic Viper shooting up bad guys, but it didn’t matter much then or now. You fly to the right

- and now, for a limited time only, up and down occasionally - and make mincemeat of

any enemy craft, alien creatures, or mysterious statuary that get their dander up and try

to shoot you. To this end, you have a selection of weapons, most of which will be familiar

to fans of the series. Not content to simply copy Gradius II’s choice of loadout sets,

this version invites you to tailor your arsenal to your own preferences. I prefer my Vic Viper

optimized with 360-degree shielding, bidirectional missiles, twin lasers, and my options flying

in tight formation as I blast the bejeezus out of this weird dragon snake Midgardsormr

thing. On fire.

Whatever your armaments of choice, you’ve got ten stages of madness up in your face,

your only salvation being those weird interstellar strawberry jam capsules that you use to power

up your craft. Take a hit with your shields down or impact a wall, though, and your entire

payload is wasted. Fortunately, when the action gets fast and heavy, the game gets hit with

slowdown like Mega Man 3 on a cold day. Simply tip your hat to the grinding of the architecture,

make your way out of the particularly tight spots, and then you can continue blasting

through this gem. Whether you’re blowing apart sand (which is not worth any points,

unfortunately), popping huge alien bubbles, or going really really really fast through

a series of space-tubes, the gameplay’s just as awesome as it was 21 years ago. You

can find it on the Wii Virtual Console (you know, that white box with the weird stick

you wave at it), or as part of Gradius III and IV for the PS2 and Gradius Collection

for the PSP. (You know, that oblong plastic slat with the screen in it.)