- Why would I do that to myself?

- Nope, just you.

(gasps) Oh my god, is this the one about Nicole's boyfriend?

- Yes!

- OH MY GOD. - OH MY GOD.

- I cannot believe she's dating a murderer.

- I can, she likes danger.

Always has, always will.

- I guess if you're with any man

there's a statistical likelihood for violence.

- Yeah, but it's not like we're choosing

to date a murderer.

- Actually...

- Oh my god, did you date a murderer?

- Okay, to be fair, he hadn't murdered anyone yet.

- Oh my god, I forgot about him!

- Yeah, he murdered someone after we broke up.

- (gasps) For drugs? - For drugs.

- Oh yeah. - Oh okay, makes sense.

And it's not like you knew he was a murderer

when you started dating him, unlike Nicole.

- Yeah but are you only a murderer

after you commit the murder?

Or were you technically a murderer the whole time?

(phone chimes) - Oh my god.

- What? - Nicole is marrying

the murderer! (women gasp)

- Oh wow, look it's an emerald cut ring

with two rectangular baguettes in a platinum setting!

And visible prongs!

- Flat base too for functionality.

- Simple. - Elegant.

- Very her.

- Aw. - I cannot believe

Nicole is marrying a murderer. - I can.

What? We've already established my viewpoint on this.

- Do you think they're gonna have a destination wedding?

- No, I don't think he can cross state lines.

- God, I would never marry a murderer.

- Never say never Melissa

because Nathan's got about seven years

before he croaks, and he could snap before then.

- Yeah Melissa.

If I chose a murderer, the chances of you choosing one

are identical.

- Nathan's not a murderer.

- Nathan's not a murderer...so far.

- Yeah Melissa, shouldn't you know all of this

considering you watch every murder documentary there is?

- Aren't you always saying how the wives

never see it coming?

How they're completely blindsided?

- Yeah Melissa, and that the close friends and family

are so confused 'cause the murderer

was always such a wonderful and kind individual

who would never hurt anyone.

- Not a soul.

- Not a fly.

- Well, yeah.

- We're just saying Melissa,

maybe you should be careful.

'Cause haven't you noticed there's been an abundance

of murder docs lately?

Murder docs which are based on murderers.

- You don't know if you're dating a murderer.

You don't know if you're married to one.

They're everywhere.

- They could even be here right now. (screaming)

(Melissa shrieking)

(women laughing)

You guys aren't worth it.

(women laughing) I gotta go,

I got stuff to do, get out. - Okay, alright.

Okay. - Bye!

(dramatic music)

- Hello?

Nathan?

Are you home?

Hello?

Nathan?

Nathan?

(suspenseful music)

(woman screaming)

(Melissa shrieking)

(woman screaming)

(Melissa shrieking)

(Melissa breathing heavily)

- Melissa, we're just pranking you!

- (laughing) We're not gonna murder you!

- But Nathan's not home.

- And never will be.

(Melissa crying)

- My name is Anna Akana

and I completely made this entire video up.

It is not based on anyone we know

or several people that we know, at all.

And thank you to the Patreons for supporting today's video

and of course, as always,

thank you to Daddy Squarespace

for sponsoring today's episode.

Daddy Squarespace has an all-in-one platform

to build a beautiful online presence

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or online store be the best it can be.

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I mean they don't sponsor murder

but they sponsor me talking about murder, so.

Thanks.