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  • if anyone has objections to this union, speak now or forever, hold your peace, swear.

  • Wait.

  • If you could just hold on one second.

  • If everyone could just hold on for one second, this this won't take long.

  • That's just kind of a thing you say.

  • It's not you're not realistic.

  • Hello?

  • Hey oracle.

  • Thanks for the last minute.

  • Sash.

  • Actually, let me just put my airpods in.

  • Sorry guys.

  • Just think of the open bar.

  • We're gonna get there soon.

  • I know the ceremony is the worst part.

  • Hold on.

  • Okay, can you hear me?

  • I feel like my friend is marrying the wrong person.

  • What should I do?

  • Are you at the wedding right now?

  • Yeah, I'm here at the wedding.

  • They just they just asked for objections, wow.

  • Okay, cutting it pretty close.

  • I got really busy, you know, and I'm permanently dislodged from time after the last two years.

  • It just makes no sense to me.

  • No judgment, totally get it.

  • So let's dive in so you can make this decision with clarity.

  • First and foremost, I want to rule out that you may be projecting your past relationship trauma to this couple.

  • Have you journal about this concern to get to the root of why you have it?

  • Uh, 1 2nd.

  • 1 2nd.

  • Okay.

  • Done.

  • I don't think I'm unconsciously projecting my own past betrayals or inner wounds onto them.

  • The red flags that I'm noticing.

  • They're very real wonderful.

  • Okay, next, let's imagine the outcomes.

  • What happens if you say something versus what happens if you don't.

  • So let's imagine that you don't say anything and that your worst fears come true.

  • Whether you're your fears are that your friend's spouse is unfaithful, dishonest or abusive?

  • How will you feel down the line if you never said anything if they have Children together and this happens?

  • Oh no.

  • However, if you say something, it may also end the friendship depending on how open your friend is to hearing this kind of criticism.

  • She could absolutely choose her partner over continuing to be in a relationship with, you know?

  • So before you decide, ask yourself which risk is worth taking.

  • Okay, so what do I do if your friend is in an abusive relationship, it can take victims an average of seven times before leaving for good.

  • Perhaps you want to protect the friendship to ensure she has a system of support.

  • Okay, well he's definitely a dick bag, but I don't think he's necessarily abusive.

  • Well, if you do decide to purchase this conversation with your friend, definitely do so in a safe, non intimidating setting where you can speak one on one, so probably not shouting in the middle of the ceremony.

  • Okay, great.

  • Cool, cool.

  • Remember use your eye messages to remove any judgment or blame from your language.

  • Okay, I will do that.

  • And also you don't have to make this decision right now.

  • You can put a bow on it and continue to observe and support your friend with solutions way to express your concern when the time is right or when your opinion is asked for.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • I have so much clarity around this issue now and what to do.

  • Thank you so much A wise oracle anytime.

  • Also you can call me marla.

  • You don't have to keep calling me that.

  • I'll see you on monday.

  • Okay, we're back.

  • Alright.

  • Just tag me I'm anaconda.

  • Thank you the patrons who supported today's video and thank you to better help for sponsoring today's episode.

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if anyone has objections to this union, speak now or forever, hold your peace, swear.

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