Something bad is coming.

Hey hey mr tight pants man.

Hey look I'd appreciate it if you called me spider man.

Okay how did you get those pants so tight man.

Yeah tight pants man, tight pants man.

Doing what a tight pants man can I'm out here protecting the populace from bad guys.

I mean I think I've earned a little respect.

I don't know, you don't look like a spider to me.

That's because I'm a man then why aren't you called a man man?

It's spider man.

Okay.

Got it spider really?

Because he looks more like a spider than you do.

Maybe he should go by spider man and you go by tight pants.

Listen I'm spider man cause I have all the superpowers of a spider.

Got it like my spidey sense.

Spiky sense.

Spied E sense o tidy pence.

I get it now.

I thought you said spidey sense, I did say spidey sense.

What are you talking about?

So how did you get into your tidy pence?

I got my spidey sense when a spider bit me giving me spiders superpowers.

That's it.

You just got bit, that's how you got your superpowers?

Uh Yeah I think I just wait yep I got an idea.

Cool well don't think too hard because you'll did you just bite me, yep now you have annoying Orange superpowers who see if you can touch your tongue to your I bet you can dude the spider that bit me was radioactive.

Not just some normal spider.

Oh yeah so maybe don't go around just biting people unless you're radioactive.

Well my bed is kind of close to the microwave.

So maybe I'm a little radioactive.

Okay, sure dude, even if you did give me your superpowers, why on earth would the annoying orange just so called super powers be appealing?

Wait, what was that?

Why did I make a pun and then laugh at my own pun because it's working.

No, it can't be working.

I have to defend new york against supervillains.

I can't be sitting around doing then I looks like you can, I got to stop and I can't even show web anymore.

I lost my spider powers and now all I have is annoying.

Orange powers.

Like this sounds like your new powers are a boatload of fun.

Well, well, well Spider man, we meet again.

I couldn't help but over here you lost your superpowers.

I'm so sorry to hear it.

That's right.

Unlike you.

I'm coming into this fight completely unarmed.

Nice one.

Tidy Pants.

Hey, was that a pun about how I have eight arms?

Because you know, I'm very sensitive about that.

You figure that one all out by yourself.

What's your doctorate in Kindergarten?

Since when did you get so annoying Since like a couple minutes ago?

What was that a seed?

Hey, stop that right now.

Mhm Oh dr rock.

Just hit the block.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Hey everybody and welcome to story time.

I'm pear and I'm spider orange.

We dude, would you watch where you're swinging?

Sorry, didn't mean to bug you.

Well I'm glad to see you're excited for today's episode orange.

Yeah you might say I'm really getting into the swing of things.

We I take it this means you did the required reading for today's episode for once, nah it was too long dude, it's a comic book.

Oh well in that case it had too many pictures.

You didn't even open it, did you?

No need pair.

I pretty much remember it from the first time.

I didn't read it as a kid.

Oh yeah so what's the title?

Annoying Spider man close but also way off.

It's the amazing spider man.

We'll see about that.

Great.

Once upon a time there was a high school kid named Peter parker.

Now he wasn't exactly the coolest or the biggest kid at school but he was super good at science.

How am I doing so far pair.

This is actually pretty spot on.

I told you I remembered it.

My mind is a steel scrap.

Uh that's not how it One day peter parker went to a science fair but there was no key concession stand or anything so he got zoo for hungry.

Finally he bit into a radioactive spider.

Come again.

He bit a radioactive spider.

Okay that's what I thought you said.

See that's not exactly because the spider was radioactive Peter parker accrued the powers of the spider eight limbs, eight eyeballs.

The ability to scare people when the bathroom light comes on.

Yeah I think we're gonna need to tap the brakes here.

Dude, those aren't the superpowers he got.

Well sure they are true or false.

Peter Parker got spider superpowers.

Sure but not those powers.

He got all the cool ones.

I mean it's not like he suddenly started eating flies or something.

That's where you're wrong.

Mon pair he did start eating flies by the bowlful.

No he didn't.

Why would he do that flies are a disgusting thing to eat pair.

We're talking about a guy who bit a spider.

You really think he's gonna be grossed out by the thought of eating a fly.

Good point booya.

Now if you don't mind I will continue the list of spider powers that Peter Parker accrued.

He grew a durex, he lost the ability to speak and most importantly he gave the ability to shoot spider webbing out of his but close enough I guess so he went out on the town shooting but webs all over the place he wasn't great at first he got into the swing of things soon enough.

Oh but here's the thing just as he gained the powers of a spider.

He also gained the downsides of being a spider growing a thorax wasn't already a downside.

Of course not pair the thorax is a very important body part plus the ladies love it.

Good grief, sadly Peter Parker got the bad spider stuff too.

Like the ability to be easily trapped under a water glass.

This used to be one of my favorite origin stories also.

He lost the ability to speak.

His brain shrunk to the size of a sesame scene and his lifespan reduced to approximately 1 to 2 years.

Dude, this is the worst superhero of all time.

What do you want from me?

The guy could have been a radioactive nobel prize winner or something but he opted for a dumb old spider actions have consequences pair with great power comes and something something something.

Listen, can we just get to the part where he fights bad guys?

Please?

Sure thing, there were no shortage of enemies and Peter Parker took them all on as spider man.

There was a lizard, I think you mean the lizard right now?

Pretty sure it's just lizard.

Other enemies included chickadees, Bluebird trout hold up.

These aren't spiderman villains.

They're just natural predators of the spider.

I know, don't worry pear, I got this Blackburn gecko.

Other spiders.

Stop.

Spider man did not swing around the city shooting webbing from his but battling the natural predators of the spider.

Well sure he did just not for very long.

Oh and why is that?

Are you gonna tell me he got defeated by trout?

No, although trout is a fearsome in formidable foe.

Spider man met his match when he got trapped underneath the water.

Oh my gosh, a water glass.

Come on at least tell me his escape from the water glass was exciting.

Not really, He never escaped.

He was under there awhile and you know what I was saying earlier about a severely reduced lifespan, so that's it, that's the entire story of the amazing Spider man, yep.

What may I ask was so amazing about a so called super hero who fought a trout, got trapped under a glass and promptly died.

How on earth did he get the title of superhero?

Anyway, you're right pear, It defies logic.

I'll say it's incredible.

Exactly one might even say it's amazing.

Oh my gosh the end.

I heard trailers go off without a hitch, wait up guys I'm coming mm Alright not to spoil anything but I heard there are a bunch of crossovers in this movie.

Do you think they'll do a crossover with batman?

They might probably not.

What about Scooby doo?

What are you talking about?

Orange?

Why would Spiderman do a crossover with Scooby doo.

Probably because it's so much fun to say Scooby doo.

That's pretty good but try this one on for size Scooby.

Okay guys, stop it, stop it, stop it, jeez I'm sorry I said anything about crossovers so you're saying you do it differently if you could Scooby dooby do it all over again in all seriousness though.

I wonder if this is gonna be a fun Spiderman movie or a dramatic Spiderman movie.

I got my answer Ever since I got bit by that spider 8 1 week where my life has felt normal shark week was when you found out Spider man, Spider man making as many movies.

While Tom holland still looks believably high school aged as they possibly.

Can you botched that spell where you wanted everyone to forget the peter parker Spider man.

Yes, I was hoping Doctor Strange would be in this movie.

Said no one ever started getting some visitors.

Is that a poke ball?

It is not a poke ball.

Every universe.

Marsh, he's got you there.

They should call it Spiderman.

Hello peter that's one ugly Pokemon for the last time.

No one's a Pokemon, you're not peter parker and you're not batman yet.

You're talking like this.

I'm sorry, what was your name again?

Dr Otto octavius.

What does he have a doctorate in?

I wonder talking like this, what's your actual name?

There are others out there.

We need to send them back.

So Scooby doo.

This crap he said it, he said Scooby doo.

It's the crossover of the century.

Stop it.

Just because he said Scooby doo one time does not make it a crossover Scooby doo.

This crap, this christmas is lit.

This christmas is so lit.

You're flying out into the darkness to fight ghosts.

What do you mean they all die fighting Spiderman, it's their fate.

It's not Pokemon.

I'm sorry kid.

Yeah, me too.

Don't Oh no he didn't.

Oh what do you do to Spider man?

I don't know.

But it sure sounds like a mystery for Scooby doo and the gang, danger to our universe.

Just like grapefruits, parts.

You're not gonna take this away from me, peter, you're struggling.

Damn everything you want while the world tries to make you choose, knock it off my fault.

I can't save everyone.

That doesn't make any sense.

Okay, little Apple, here comes your chance, chance to do what the end card.

It's gonna slam on the screen at any moment.

Can you feel it?

This is your chance to prove to everyone you're not illiterate.

Yeah.

Here we go.

Get ready to, I'm not going to read the title card for marvel studios.

Spider man.

No way home just because you said I have to wow you nailed it dude, but I can't stop him much.

Like you can't stop this.

Please don't.

Okay, well that was fun.

Although I gotta say could have used more Scooby doo and more Pokemon and more Doctor Strange bear.