Would you rather visit Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory

or Jurassic Park?

(upbeat country music)

- Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

Similar body count there though, huh?

- Yeah, I think that-

- Hey, Willy Wonka you get turned into chocolate,

and everyone enjoys chocolate.

- I would say Jurassic Park.

This is one of my favorites to ask everyone.

Would you rather speak every language fluently,

or play every instrument perfectly?

- Oh, speak every language fluently.

- Right? Communicate with everybody.

- Music is bad.

- Hey, cowboy.

(guitar banging)

- Would you rather go on a road trip with Travis,

or my friend Jimmy?

- All right, Jerry, let's go.

- Jimmy.

- Whatever, just get in the fucking truck.

- Go on a road trip with myself or with Travis?

- Yeah, it's a tricky one.

- I hate being alone, I want to hang out with Travis.

(laughing)

Wait, the deafening sound of silence, no thank you.

- I would rather go on a road trip with Jimmy.

- Next truck stop we find

you need to shave all this shit off,

you look fucking homeless.

- Oh good.

- Yeah.

- What are we going to listen to music?

Absolutely not. Music is bad.

- Go on a road trip with Mia or Rip?

- Can I come?

- No, it's not a fucking road trip.

- Duh, that's an easy one

- Mia, are you kidding me?

Hang out with Eden Brolin. That's a joy.

- Hey, if y'all were on a desert island

and could only listen to one song

for the rest of your life, what would it be?

- What about Mia or Laramie?

- Mia or, Mia!

- Okay.

- Hassie is great too, though.

- Just trying to catch you up.

- Sure. Sure, sure.

(indistinct)

- Would you rather eat Gator's cookies or Teeter's cooking?

- You're wasting your time Teeter.

No, one's going to eat a thing that you cook.

- When does Gator get back?

- Gator's cookies or Teeter's cooking?

- I've never had a Gator cookie.

- I don't eat gluten.

- What's gluten?

- I never had.

- Does he bake?

- I bet it would be great.

They're both excellent.

I bet the Gator cookie would be fantastic

and would have some kind of crawfish in it.

- I too. Yeah, exactly.

Eat Gator's cookies.

- Sign me up for like a cookie gumbo.

- Would you rather live

in the Medieval times or the Old West?

- Medieval times or the Old West?

Um, old west.

- I might make a cowboy, yet.

- Yeah.

- I think life expectancy a little longer

- Sepsis.

- Sepsis in both cases.

When did, did people get Scurvy?

- Uhhh.

- I might have Scurvy.

- No, we cured that I think in the 19th century.

- Are you guys still eating oranges?

- Become a werewolf or a vampire?

- Werewolf or vampire?

Oh boy, God. That's a bad one. Cause-

- Hm. They're not all they're cracked up to be.

(heavy breathing)

Just think about this way,

one of them you live forever.

- I think vampire more marketable.

Film wise.

There's more movies about vampires than werewolves.

I'm still an actor in this scenario, right?

- Would you rather give up coffee or social media?

- Mornin'.

- Oh God. My two crutches.

You know here's coffee, here's social media,

and I'm limping through this lonely world.

- Yes.

- Yeah, be careful.

- I would rather give up social media.

- Yeah, me too.

Either, both of 'em, who cares?

- Would you rather face off against Rip or Kayce?

- Oh God.

Wow.

Uh, Rip. Kayce you're never going to see him coming.

Rip's gonna walk right up to you and knock you over.

- God damn you for making me do this.

- That's it.

Lightning round of would you rather complete.

- Oh, complete, right. Thank God.

- Good job. You won. There's no wrong answers.

(upbeat country music)