Yep, I got tricked into sleeping with someone.

I'm being silly about it 'cuz humor is my coping mechanism. But do not be fooled by my jovial nature. It was traumatic.

So gather around the campfire kids for a terrifying cautionary tale.

Some time ago, I was filming in another country.

I was single, my heart was freshly broken. I was hanging on by an emotional thread.

So the opportunity to go focus on a movie, take my mind off of my insane pain.

It was very welcome.

Now, on the first day of this film, there was an individual who sort of caught my eye, but, like, I'm not a big hat person and he had this baseball hat on.

And it sounds really stupid, but I was like, "Wow, I don't know if he's really cute or not because this is like hat.

Maybe this means, like, I'm attracted to people's head shapes like humpty dumpty.

Who knows?

Either way.

He looked weird with a hat and remember this detail, okay?

It's very important. It's gonna come back

The next day, he's not wearing the hat. I can confirm he's very cute.

My heart is in 1000 pieces, but I welcome any distraction from the searing pain of having it destroyed.

So I flirt, he flirts, time goes by, and then one day after set, we go to a bar, we tell each other our whole life stories and we start a little onset fling.

But I caveat this fling with the warning.

I just want to be upfront with you. I'm not looking for anything serious.

I've probably never said this, but I don't want a commitment.

I'm just looking for something physical. I'm incredibly emotionally unavailable

If that's cool with you, then we can have fun while we're here. Great.

If not, then maybe we should stop this now, just to spare feelings.

Okay, like, thanks for letting me know.

I'm actually totally cool with it's just being a thing here.

Wonderful.

Well, let us fuck.

Fast forward. Okay, we're having a fun time.

We're deepening our intimacy both emotionally and physically, and when one day we were lying in bed together, naked,

when he said, "I have something to tell you, but I feel like it's creepy."

Zoom in on my big dumb stupid face.

What?

Never mind.

What? You can't just say you have something to tell me and you think it's creepy, and then say never mind.

Okay, I saw you in Ant-Man, and then I looked you up, and then I watched every single one of your videos,

and then I saw you were doing this movie and I thought, wow, she's really cute

and I reached out to the director on instagram, and I told her I'd work for free and fly myself out here,

and then on the first day, I noticed that you didn't notice me, so I thought maybe it's my hat and so then I took off my hat.

You seem to notice me.

Okay, out of all of the above, the hat detail really freaks me out because he wasn't wrong.

He may be a creep, but he was an attuned creep.

Okay, back to his frightening admission.

And then we met, and then we fell in love, and I thought "Wow, this is meant to be" and I know you said you were just in this for the fling, but you feel it too, right?

I know I've only ever dated asian women my whole life, but this, this is different.

Zoom in on my big dumb stupid face that is attached to my naked body in a locked hotel room with this man that nobody knows I'm with in another country.

Now, at this point, I do what every woman in my situation would do.

Oh my god, that is crazy.

I do my best to make sure that I get out of here alive.

You know what?

We have a really early morning tomorrow. I should... I should go to sleep now.

Hmm, I really creeped you out, didn't I?

No, no! It's so sweet how you apparently became obsessed with me, and then pushed yourself into my professional life and built a relationship with me predicated on a lie.

It's just like the movies, like horror movies.

You know, I would've told you sooner, but I needed to make sure we fell in love.

Oh my God.

Obviously, I made it out alive, but it really didn't end there, guys.

He moved to L.A.

And would apparently troll vegetarian restaurants that he knew I liked to try to run into me.

It was... it was and continues to remain to be terrifying.

Yeah, you know, normally my videos have like a happy message at the end that wraps up a relatable moral for us all to, like take away, like feel good about.

But today, today I'm just going to warn you people are scary, trust no one, build really high walls and never let them down.

Move to a mountain, live on a farm, build a cabin in the woods off the grid and never let another human being ever come near you because this, this is what could happen.

Bye bye.