"Twas the night before Spongemas,

the sea twinkled with bright lights,

and Bikini Bottom chanted,

'Santa is coming tonight, tonight.'"

[carolers] ♪ Oh, Santa's coming Tonight, tonight ♪

-[growls] - ♪ Santa's coming tonight ♪

♪ Santa's coming Tonight, tonight ♪

♪ Santa's coming tonight ♪

Come on, everybody!

Let's sing till Santa gets here!

♪ Santa Claus, Santa Claus Santa's on his way ♪

♪ I'm giving him a present He'll take back on his sleigh ♪

-♪ Yay! ♪ -[song ends]

[narrator] On the top of everyone's mind,

memories of Christmases before.

Some wished to remember less,

but others wished for more.

[cheering]

[excited clamoring]

[mumbling indistinctly]

[excited shudders]

[mumbles] What would you like for Christmas?

[overlapping incoherent lists]

[mumbles] Pipe down, children.

[groans]

[grunts, smacks lips] Huh?

What the...?

[excited shudders]

[gasps] SpongeBob SquarePants?

Hi, Santa.

Did you know that I'm your biggest fan?

Aww, that's very sweet of you, Santa.

But actually, Patchy the Pirate is my biggest fan.

Ho-ho-ho!

Ahoy, SpongeBob and Patrick!

It's me, Patchy the Pirate!

[dramatic gasps, grunts]

[narrator] Time to pick a tree and trim it with care,

for Santa's coming soon and the coral is to share.

♪ It's shaping up to be A wonderful holiday ♪

♪ Not your normal Average every day ♪

♪ Sounds like someone Felled my old coral tree ♪

♪ SpongeBob, Patrick Why'd you do this to me? ♪

♪ The world feels like It's in loverly ♪

♪ Go away Before I harm you bodily ♪

♪ This Christmas feels like ♪

♪ The very first Christmas To me ♪

[garbage clanging]

♪ There'll be shopping Decorating ♪

♪ And plenty of snow ♪

♪ Hey, Patrick, who's that Under the mistletoe? ♪

♪ What? Who, me? ♪

♪ Would you look at the time I should go ♪

♪ People seem a little more Brotherly ♪

♪ Here's a special something To you from me ♪

-♪ To you from me ♪ -♪ Even all the trash ♪

♪ On Christmas It smells so sweetly ♪

♪ This Christmas feels like ♪

♪ The very first Christmas To me ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ What do you want? Can't you see that I'm busy? ♪

♪ Step outside, we've got Something for you to see ♪

♪ SpongeBob, take this stuff Down immediately ♪

♪ Chestnuts roasting And burns in the third degree ♪

♪ Tonight things are As good as they seem to be ♪

♪ A star on top Will complete all the scenery ♪

♪ This Christmas feels like ♪

♪ The very first Christmas To me ♪

[chattering grunt]

♪ This Christmas feels like ♪

♪ The very first Christmas To me ♪

[narrator] Patrick didn't think much

about his first Christmas Day.

But you could say he doesn't think much any day

about anything in any way.

[happy grunts]

[dreamy, festive music playing]

[narrator] His favorite Christmas memory?

He truly can't remember.

But he loves the taste of treats

-and snowballs in December. -Hey!

Patrick, you fool, this was over before it started!

I will now consider your unconditional surren...

-[air deflates] -...der.

[guffawing]

So that's how he wants it to go down.

[Patrick continues laughing]

[grunting battle cry]

Ha! You missed me!

[grunting battle cry resumes]

[muffled grunts]

[slo-mo groans]

[grunting]

[gulps, panting] Whew!

[SpongeBob reloads, battle cry resumes]

[grunting cries]

Score one for the boys back home!

-Yes? Oh, Patrick. -[inaudible grunts]

What an unpleasant surprise.

-[watery exclamations] -Oh, boy.

Nothing like a game of charades.

-[watery grunts] -Mmm.

[gulps, gasps]

I was trying to tell you I was choking on snow,

but the snow melted and turned into water

and I drank all the water. Now I'm better.

Fascinating.

[narrator] Even in this festive season,

Squidward has neighbors he hates.

But he loves his art

that no one else appreciates.

[chuckles]

An artist such as myself should not be subject

to such menial tasks.

Aww, don't be menial to Squidward, Mr. Krabs.

-I'll take the delivery. -No.

Mr. Squidward is a real artist now,

and real artists can handle anything.

[shuddering] The Arctic is so cold.

[shivering]

[gasps] Come on, Squidward.

You're a strong artist.

You can do it!

No!

[Squidward shouts, teeth chattering]

-Uh, SpongeBob? [screams] -Oh, hi, Squidward.

SpongeBob, what are you doing here?

Just getting some ice. Fresh.

[gulping]

[giggles] Need some help?

[SpongeBob shouts, hums]

[upbeat music plays]

Here's your food.

Hey, this is cold!

Perfect!

-[laughing] -[Squidward groans]

Eh, we'd better get you home.

[narrator] Squidward tried his best to sleep in his bed,

but visions of SpongeBob tortured his head.

You're making me claustrophobic.

What does claustrophobic mean?

It means he's afraid of Santa Claus.

-No, it doesn't! -Ho-ho-ho! [giggles]

Stop it, Patrick, you're scaring him!

Ho-ho-ho!

[Squidward screams]

[narrator] Try as he might,

Squidward couldn't sleep a wink.

And all SpongeBob could do was lie awake and think,

"Decorations are up, the stockings are stuffed."

"But will all this Christmas cheer I've shared be enough?"

[narrator] Plankton was haunted by all his tries and fails.

Would this be his year when he all would hail?

He looked back at those times that he had almost won,

like when Bikini Bottom had a blizzard of chum.

-[festive music playing] -[all exclaiming]

You all love Chum Day?

[all cheering]

It was me! I invented Chum Day!

Chum Day is copywritten by me!

[grunts]

Excuse me, are you responsible for all this chum?

Yes, that's right. You're welcome.

Well, as the health inspector, I've got something for you.

One billion dollars?!

[groaning]

[splatting grunt]

You know, there is a way out of paying the fine.

I'll do it. What is it?

You can eat up all the chum.

Hmm? [grunts]

[coughing, gasps]

Isn't there anyone that knows the true meaning of Chum Day?

-I know. Lights, please. -Hmm?

And lo, there was chum.

A food that turned from revolting to festive

by magical thinking.

And the goodwill of chum clogged the hearts of fishkind

and ushered in a new-- [grunts]

[laughter]

[narrator]

[island music playing]

[fatigued groans]

[splutters, groans]

[moaning]

[narrator] When what to his bad burning brain should appear

but a miniature elf and eight beefy reindeer.

Yo! Where do you think you're going?

[high voice] Who, me?

I'm just a little elf!

[whimpering]

You don't smell like no elf.

[normal voice] Oh, yeah? What's it to you, you moose!

[snorting]

Hey, Dasher, Dancer,

Prancer, Vixon, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen!

-[heavy metal music plays] -[all growling]

Well, looks like we got a whole Christmas special here.

Ready for some reindeer games?

Eh, peace on Earth?

[shouting, grunting]

That better be mud on your hooves! Whoa!

[narrator] Little Sheldon thought of

big chaos he had sought.

Schemes and plots and evil Christmas robots.

You put that jolly elf down, you big tin imposter!

Hot from the oven, full of lovin'!

[electrical sizzling]

Hurry up, Santa! Hop on!

-[tires squealing] -[booming]

Thanks again for saving my keister.

It was nothing.

You're clearly a very good lad.

Unlike the owner of that windup monstrosity.

What have you got there?

"If found, please return to the Chum Bucket"?

Plankton!

Uh-oh.

Hand it over, Sheldon. Don't make it any worse.

[splats]

Okay, boys, let's give Plankton what he deserves!

[Plankton] Eww! Ahh!

[gasping shout]

I can't take it! [whimpering sobs]

[narrator] Mr. Krabs was pooped from working holiday shifts.

What are they, nuts? Giving away gifts?

[snoring]

[Karen sobs] I got you the perfect gift!

The Krabby Patty formula?

Mwah! Mwah!

H-H-How did you get it?

First, I went to the Krusty Krab.

[upbeat music plays]

[Karen] One Krabby Patty please.

[bell dings]

[beeping]

[whirring]

Thank you.

Whatever.

Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.

What? Sorry, I wasn't listening.

Well, you can tell me later.

You're not getting this until you get me a gift.

[Patrick] This chewing gum is my most beloved possession.

And I'm giving it to my bestest friend on Best Friends' Day.

Patrick, I am truly honored.

[sniffles] And...

[sobbing]

What's wrong, buddy?

[gasping] You got me such an amazing gift!

And all I got you was... that.

Greetings. I am Robo 2.1,

your personal robot servant.

I am proficient in providing over 250,000 creature comforts.

Would you care for a pastry?

-[dings] -[gulps]

Nom!

Sweet, hot, and juicy!

SpongeBob?

He made me a present?

[scoffs] It's probably a jellyfish net.

Or an old Krabby Patty. [chuckles]

Or... pfft! [mocking] His favorite underpants!

Present. Ha!

Wha...?

Why, it looks like a clarinet.

[sniffs]

[sniffing] It smells like one too.

Hand-crafted out of driftwood?

And it's even got my name on it.

What's this?

["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" plays]

Wow!

This is the greatest gift I have ever gotten. [sniffles]

[narrator] "Give things away?" Krabs thought this was funny.

Why donate a dime when you can make money?

-Order up! -Hey, where's my food?

[gulps]

Mmm!