Christmas coming up; get excited, come on.

Yes, I am, I am; I...

I actually like the holidays, and Thanksgiving is my favorite 'cause you just get to eat in that type of thing.

But, I don't know, I don't like that Black Friday type of stuff.

That just freaks me out.

It makes me sad for Americans; watch 'em getting trampled, you know?

Yeah.

- You know, I... - Why... why would you do that?

Why would you do that to yourself?

Why won't you just admit that you can't afford it at regular prices?

Come back the next day...

Come back the next day like a gentleman.

Just walk in there, pick out what you want, and if your kids get less, they get less⏤that gives them drive.

You know, rich kids... rich kids just sit around, you know, doing blow, sitting in Ferraris.

They don't do anything.

It's the poor kids that... yeah, they make stuff happen.

- So... - Yeah.

Yeah, you don't get trampled, grabbing your wig, you know, suspenders flying off.

It's so sad, to do what?

Get an above-ground pool for 30 dollars off?

There is nothing⏤

There is nothing in Walmart worth getting trampled over, I mean, there's... there's nothing.

It's... it's processed...

- It's processed meat, processed meat, [beep] clothes. - Processed...

All of you, you're gonna get trampled; like, make it, like, a high end store.

I don't even... I don't even know where⏤there's nothing worth getting trampled.

- It just makes me depressed that you would do that. - Yeah.

People sit out for, like, weeks.

- Wait, they're⏤ - They don't even go to Thanksgiving.

- Yeah. - Like, they're on their cell phone, and their mom's crying, "I just... I just think you'd want to spend it with us."

And you're sitting out there in that parking lot, feeling those people breathing down the back of your neck, just going, like, knowing who you're gonna elbow.

It's just the saddest.

There are women that wait⏤there, wait, waited 22 days at Best Buy.

- They waited 22 days. - And what did they get?

What... what do you think they got?

- I don't know. - You... you think⏤they got trampled!

Yeah.

The thing is, if you're gonna go there, you don't want to be at the front of the line; you want to be about 40 deep.

And I figure, you pop out of the line and you wait till that first wave or two falls down, and then you go over the top like Walter Payton back in the day.

Roll out of it.

But even then... even then, you gotta know where to go in the store.

Like, where is the thing that is on sale, right?

Where are those mint Milano cookies or whatever they have that you're gonna make a beeline for?

On that linoleum floor, you're gonna blow out of [inaudible].

It's, like, it's the saddest thing.

So, one year, what people should do, you know, like Richard Branson, one of these hot-air-balloon rich guys,

should just, like, float in over 'em right before, and just start dropping everything that they want.

Even then, they would start stampeding; like, no matter how many hot-air balloons he had.

- No, bad idea; you don't want⏤billionaires in hot air balloons dropping toasters on people.

- That, it⏤it's a stupid idea, Bill. - No, you have... you have, like, a little parachute.

- Alright, gift certificates. - Alright.