Plankie bear. Plankton.

[grunting]

Plankton!

What?! What is it, Karen? Can't you see I'm working here?

Yes, but I wanted to show you my new screensaver.

What do you think?

- Great. - You didn't even look.

Uh. No, I didn't.

Can't you see I'm working on my new molecular analyzer?

Now all I need is the smallest molecule

of a patty, and the formula will be mine.

Just tell me if I should permanently upload

the screensaver.

I said not now!

[groaning]

[groaning]

Analyzing 30% mean guy,

20% spiteful monster, 50% evil butthead.

Sample is 100% big jerk.

I have also analyzed your screensaver, Karen.

It is most beautiful.

No one asked you. Are you happy now, Karen?!

No, I'm not.

I was just trying to make myself pretty for you,

but do you even care?

All you ever do is make stupid schemes

about stupid sandwiches.

Stupid? Your new screensaver is stupid,

and it makes your processor look fat!

What?!

What do you think of the new window?

We got it from the Krusty Krab.

SpongeBob, how do you expect me

to see out of a window that high?

I guess I hadn't thought about that.

I did. Look Plankton,

it's the perfect height for your kind.

See SpongeBob, Patrick's using the old noggin.

He knows I'll actually want to see out the window.

Wait, you wanted to see out the window? Weird.

[groaning]

Uh...

[groaning]

Can't you two do anything right?!

Stupid kid. Wait a minute.

What's this? Karen? My own wife?

Oh, how Krabs bugs me!

Hi, honey.

What's that?! A souvenir from your boyfriend Krabs?!

Oh, pipe down. I just went to get you this happy hero box.

Wha...?! Thanks, babe. You're too good to me.

[gasping]

A Mermaid Man action figure... And a Barnacle Boy eraser?!

Look at me. I'm Barnacle Boy. Look at me. I'm Mermaid Man.

Krabs!

[laughing]

Wow.

So now do you have everything you need

to make some Krabby Patties?

Well.

Are you ready to make some patties?

Wait 'til I finish my ice cream.

How about those patties?

[laughing] Faster! Faster! Faster!

And then the little-ist sea elf said-

Huh?

[snoring]

[groaning]

Steady, Plankton.

It's all gonna pay off soon enough.

[shattering]

Hey, there, sleepyhead. What do you say?

All the preparation is making me hungry.

Me too. You know what would really hit the spot?

Why don't you whip us up a couple of Krabby Patties?

Mm.

I'm kind of in the mood for tacos.

[chuckles] Good one, SpongeBob.

But really, why don't you go ahead and make us a patty?

[yawning] Nah, I don't really feel like it.

But I don't understand.

You have the grill and the spatula

and the comfy chair. I rubbed your putrid feet.

Tell you what, half pint. Why don't you ask me later?

[groaning]

I command you to make me a patty this instant!

- No. - Don't back-sass me!

[mocking]

What?!

That's it, mister! You just lost your brain privileges!

Finished. SpongeBob, come in here.

[chuckles]

Or should I say RobotBob Sponge... Chef... Pants...

I put the brain in the robot, you know.

You shouldn't have been a spoiled brat.

You see, I always get what I want.

And I want you to make me a Krabby Patty!

Dee-dee-doodle-dee-dee-doo!

Response: Why don't you ask me later?

What? WHAT?!

Get welded.

Wait! I command you make me a Krabby Patty!

I don't wanna.

[screaming]

Hello, gentlemen, and welcome to the Chum Bucket.

Would you like seating inside or outside?

Seating for what?

For the Chum Bucket!

Where you can enjoy a nice helping of chum.

Oh, boy, this is so... good.

The chum is.

Wait a minute. Eating chum? Do people do that?

Look, are you going to eat or not?!

Yeah. I'm going to have two Krabby Patties.

Oh, yeah, dude.

We couldn't find parking over there at the Krusty Krab.

Ah. Now, what was I saying? Oh, right.

I'm tired of the Krusty Krab taking all of my business!

I'd like you to meet my computer wife, Karen.

Golly, she sure is purty, Sheldon.

Sheldon?

Yes. That's my first name.

[laughing]

- Sheldon. - Will you please?

[laughing] I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Alright. As I was saying-

[laughing]

Okay, we all know Sheldon's a funny name.

Okay, okay, I'm done. No more.

Good. To continue... Only you can bring honor...

[laughing]

and dignity.

[laughing]

Back to the Plankton name.

[laughing]

For years, it has been my goal to acquire the secret formula-

[laughing] Aha!

Okay, that's enough!

Plankton!

Now, when I snap my fingers,

you will awake and tell me the formula.

[snoring]

[snapping] [snoring]

Hey, wake up!

[snoring continues]

[banging, trumpeting, drumming]

Hmm. What else is loud and obnoxious?

[ringing]

Why won't you wake up?!

I can't believe we poisoned that sweet old guy.

Well, he is old.

Hey, that guy's like family to me.

Well, it was your fault the patty was tainted.

You're the one who put too much seaweed sauce in a burger.

You let it sit out too long. That's what did it.

I'm taking the recipe and fixing it.

No way! That recipes mine!

Stop, you're gonna-!

You want to fight over this recipe,

I'll give you a fight you'll never forget!

Well, that's ruined.

But, no use letting this go to waste.

These kids will eat anything.

[sniffing]

I've done it.

Okay, so, what about the Krabby cola?

We don't serve Krabby cola.

We carry Bucket Bubbler and Chum Cherry Blast.

Okay, well, then, can I just make sure

I get those Krabby fries with extra Krabby sauce?

[sighing]

How many times must I say it? We don't carry Krabby fries.

We don't carry Krabby cola.

We don't carry Krabby sauce

and we don't carry Krabby Patties!

So if you want any of those things,

you're going to have to go to the Krusty Krab,

which is located directly across the street!

Thanks for the directions.

Anytime.

What is wrong with people?!

Honestly, I don't think anyone in Bikini Bottom

would know a decent meal if it looked them

right in the eye and said, "Hello, I am a decent meal.

Wonderful to meet you. Please pay money for me

and then put me in your mouth,

so your old Plankton doesn't lose everything

he spent his entire life working for!"

Are you SpongeBob SquarePants?

Why, yes. Yes, I am.

Then you've just won one million dollars.

[gasping]

You just have to answer one question.

What is the Krabby Patty secret formula?

Yes? Yes?

Yes?!

The Krabby Patty formula is the sole property

of the Krusty Krab and is only to be discussed

in part or in whole with its creator Mr. Krabs.

Duplication of this formula is punishable by law.

Restrictions apply. Results may vary.

[growling]

That's it?!

You'd better cough up that secret formula or else!

- Plankton. - Krabs!

Plankton!

Krabs!

SpongeBob.

[gasping] The safe. I'm in the clear, baby!

It's beautiful.

No. No tears. Not yet.

There's work to be done.

[laughing] At long last.

[applause]

And the secret formula is... one bottle of molting lotion.

Take passport photo.

Get new safe (travel size). This isn't the secret formula.

It's a to do list.

[groaning]

[growling]

Huh? What happened to the Krusty Krab?

[grunting]

The humiliation in here stinks.

This is all your fault, Plankton.

I'm gonna keel haul yer face at lunchtime.

Why wait? Let's take a coffee break! Pow!

[chuckles]

[growling]

[groaning]

[laughing] Swirly!

Hey, I'm trying to read!

Ahh! Hey!

[screaming] Help!

Two guys... fighting... toilet paper everywhere!

Oh, yeah?

Who's defiling me rester-ereroom?!

- He did it! - He did it!

No, he did it! No, he did it! No, he did it!

[bickering]

Get off of him, Plankton!

It was obviously Krabs' fault!

Why are you siding with Plankton?!

Why are you siding with Krabs?!

They're arguing!

And splitting up!