be happy. Your actions aim for the opposite. You want to be the

是快樂的。你的行動的目標卻恰恰相反。你想成為

saddest saddo sailing on the sea of sadness -- much easier to achieve and this

在悲傷的海洋上航行的最悲傷的人 -- 更容易實現，這

video has 7 tactics to get you started toward the dark currents, at least one of

視頻中有7個戰術可以讓你開始走向暗流，至少有一個

which you are already doing. So let's begin. First, stay still. Remain indoors as

而你已經在做了。所以我們開始吧。首先，保持靜止。留在室內，因為

much as possible, preferably in the same room. Be the human equivalent of a pile

儘可能多，最好是在同一個房間。做一個相當於人的堆積物的人

of laundry -- inert, unmoving. Don't let a beautiful day tempt you for a walk. Avoid

衣服的 -- 惰性的，不動的。不要讓一個美麗的日子誘惑你去散步。避免

anything even vaguely exercisial. This keeps reward chemicals out of your

任何即使是含糊不清的運動。這將使獎勵性化學物質不進入你的身體。

brain which could diverge you and stillness guides you towards medical

大腦可能會使你分心，而靜止引導你走向醫學

problems which will keep this wheel turning. Stillness is the most effective

問題，這將使這個輪子繼續轉動。靜止是最有效的

thing you can do, so be the laundry pile. Make your bedroom your allroom. Live and

你可以做的事情，所以是洗衣堆。讓你的臥室成為你的所有房間。生活和

work and play and sleep in the smallest radius you can. Which brings us to screw

在你能做到的最小半徑範圍內工作、玩耍和睡覺。這使我們想到了螺絲釘

with your sleep. The wrath of insomnia will be your co-pilot on the sea of

與你的睡眠。失眠的憤怒將成為你在大海中的副駕駛。

sadness. Her mere presence is unpleasant, but she also helps confuse the

悲傷。她的存在是令人不快的，但她也幫助混淆了

productive part of your brain which might look to navigate you toward the

你的大腦中富有成效的部分，可能會尋求引導你走向

islands of happiness on the horizon. More on that later. A regular sleep cycle is a

幸福的島嶼在地平線上。稍後再談這個問題。一個有規律的睡眠週期是一個

fragile thing and takes at least three days to establish. Be sure then to vary

脆弱的東西，至少需要三天時間來建立。是以，要確保不同的

your bedtime by several hours twice a week, at least. Even better:

每週至少兩次，將你的睡覺時間延長几個小時。甚至更好：

vary your wake time. Sleep in late, preferably very late, some but not all

改變你的起床時間。晚睡，最好是非常晚，有些但不是全部

days. And tell yourself you are making up for sleep to feel like you're doing

天。並告訴自己你是在補覺，讓自己覺得自己在做

something healthy even though you feel terrible when you wake up early and when

儘管你在早起時感覺很糟糕，當你在早起時感覺很糟糕，當你在早起時感覺很糟糕。

you wake up late. Irregular sleep is another of the sea's accelerating

你很晚才醒來。不規律的睡眠是海內另一個加速發展的

currents. The more you vary your sleep, the harder regular sleep becomes, which

流動性。你的睡眠變化越大，常規睡眠就越難，這

makes your sleep more variable. To never sleep or wake at the same time naturally

使你的睡眠更加多變。永遠不要在同一時間睡覺或醒來，自然而然的

is the goal. And to help in this, maximize your screen time. Staying on-screen

是目標。而為了幫助實現這一目標，要最大限度地增加你的螢幕時間。保持在螢幕上

complements the previous sailing tactics. Boredom could drive you to motion, so let

對前面的航海戰術進行補充。無聊可能會驅使你去運動，所以讓

the screen entertain you. Tiredness can push you to sleep, so let the screen keep

螢幕為你提供娛樂。疲憊會促使你入睡，所以讓螢幕保持

you awake, sort of, as long as possible. Always fall asleep with a screen in your

儘可能長時間地讓你保持清醒。總是在有螢幕的情況下入睡

hand and put your eyes back on it as soon as you wake.

手，一醒來就把眼睛放回它上面。

Every moment away from a screen is a moment you might notice the horizon. Keep

離開螢幕的每一刻都是你可能注意到地平線的時刻。保持

your head down and let the currents pull you. Here you have allies unknown. Behind

你的頭低下，讓水流拉你。在這裡你有未知的盟友。背後

the screen are teams of the smartest people and brightest bots competing to

螢幕上是由最聰明的人和最聰明的機器人組成的團隊，他們正在競爭

hold your attention on them as long as possible. Let them reach you to pull you

儘可能長時間地保持你對他們的關注。讓他們接觸你，以拉動你

back if you turn away. Plus, screens help with number four: use your screen to

如果你轉身離開，就會回來。此外，螢幕有助於第四項：利用你的螢幕來

stoke your negative emotions, to feed your anger or anxiety about things over

煽動你的負面情緒，以滿足你的憤怒或對事情的焦慮。

which you have no control or influence. Be well informed while doing nothing. The

你無法控制或影響的。在什麼都不做的情況下，要充分了解情況。指南針

things you care about could be navigational guides out of the sea,

你所關心的事情可能是出海的導航指南、

reasons to leave your allroom and take meaningful action with the humans around

離開你的房間，對周圍的人採取有意義的行動的理由

you. But you can instead use the things you care about as further sources of

你。但你反而可以把你關心的事情作為進一步的源泉。

misery. Focus on the bad to fuel your resentment or despair. If you must

痛苦。專注於壞事來助長你的怨恨或絕望。如果你必須

contribute, do so only in meaningless token ways and be disappointed in the

貢獻，只是以毫無意義的象徵性方式做出貢獻，並對其感到失望。

lack of change. We're coming towards the end and if you're doing it right, misery

缺乏變化。我們正在走向終點，如果你做得對，苦難

is descending. But some part of your brain is rebelling, trying to turn the

正在下降。但你的大腦的某些部分正在反抗，試圖把

ship by setting a goal. If you're not careful, that part of your brain just

通過設定一個目標。如果你不小心，你大腦的那一部分就會

might save you, but luckily we can do more than just hobble it. We can fool it

可能會救你，但幸運的是，我們能做的不僅僅是讓它蹣跚而行。我們可以愚弄它

to navigate deeper into the sea. To reach goals, they must be specific, measurable,

駛向更深的海洋。要達到目標，必須是具體的、可衡量的、

actionable, for which you are responsible, and time bounded. I will turn the wheel

可操作的，你負責的，有時間限制的。我將轉動車輪

one degree right now. Instead, set the productive part of your brain on vapid

現在就有一個度。相反，將你大腦的生產力部分設置在虛無縹緲的

goals: vague, amorphous, pie-in-the-sky, irrelevant, delayed. Make the target

目標：模糊的、無定形的、空中樓閣的、不相關的、拖延的。讓目標

unclear and the path unclear. If motivation strikes, aim ridiculously high

不清楚，路也不清楚。如果動機來了，目標要高得離譜

to guarantee failure. I will clean the whole house today is much better than I

以保證失敗。我今天會把整個房子打掃乾淨，這比我好得多。

will do the laundry in this pile. Cleaning a whole house is impossible.

會在這堆衣服裡洗衣服。打掃整個房子是不可能的。

There's always more to do, so you will always fail. Focus on goals that are

總是有更多的事情要做，所以你總是會失敗。關注的目標是

after what you wish to achieve. Learn how to market an app before you learn to

在你希望實現什麼之後。在學習如何營銷一個應用程序之前，先學習

code. This will distract the productive part of your brain quite nicely. And be

代碼。這將很好地分散你大腦中的生產力部分的注意力。而且要

sure to wait for motivation rather than setting a time. You'll do something when

確保等待動力而不是設定時間。你會做一些事情，當

you feel like it, which will be never or never enough to matter. With vapid goals,

你覺得喜歡，這將是永遠或永遠不夠重要。有了虛無縹緲的目標、

you will turn the productive part of your brain from a dangerous source of

你將把你大腦的生產部分從一個危險的源頭轉到另一個源頭。

self-improvement that rewards every small step into a consistent nag

獎勵每一個小步驟的自我完善，使之成為一個持續的嘮叨。

that berates you for your failure to have already accomplished your goal

斥責你沒有完成你的目標。

every step of the way. Now the vapid goals you've set should

的每一步。現在，你所設定的虛無縹緲的目標應該

distract the productive part of your brain, but if it still fights against you,

分散你大腦的生產部分的注意力，但如果它仍然與你對抗、

direct it towards the mirage on the sea of sadness: the islands of happiness

把它引向悲傷之海上的海市蜃樓：幸福之島

themselves. Pursue happiness directly. The human mind is such that by setting sail

自己。直接追求幸福。人類的思想是這樣的，通過起航

towards happiness, you will achieve the opposite. Imagine happiness as a place

朝著幸福的方向前進，你會取得相反的結果。將幸福想象成一個地方

where happy people are happy all the time.

在那裡，快樂的人一直都很快樂。

This turns happiness into an unreachable feeling of constant bliss that no one

這就把幸福變成了一種遙不可及的持續幸福感，沒有人

has. True happiness is like a bird that might land on your ship, but never if you

有。真正的幸福就像一隻鳥，可能會降落在你的船上，但如果你

constantly stand guard to catch it. Instead, improve your ship and sail into

不停地站崗抓捕它。相反，改進你的船，駛入

warmer waters -- the bird will land when you aren't looking. Uh -- so be sure never to

較溫暖的水域 -- 鳥兒會在你不注意的時候降落。呃 -- 所以要確保永遠不要

do that. Aim toward the mirage of happiness rather than improving the ship

這樣做。瞄準幸福的海市蜃樓，而不是改善船的狀況

upon which you sail. Last, but most important, follow your instincts.

你在其中航行。最後，但最重要的是，遵循你的直覺。

Navigation deeper into the sea of sadness is quite easy, for there is a

深入悲傷之海的航行是相當容易的，因為有一個

dark magnetic field that points the compass of your impulses in the right

黑暗的磁場，將你的衝動的羅盤指向正確的方向。

direction once you get started. You will want to stay indoors, you will want to

一旦你開始工作，就有了方向。你會想留在室內，你會想

not exercise, you will want to sleep in, you will want to do what you know will

不運動，你會想睡懶覺，你會想做你知道的事情。

make you sadder after you've done it. Your compass points the way, both in and

使你在做完之後更加悲傷。你的指南針指明瞭方向，既在也在

out, so follow the true north of your impulses and stay away from that other

所以要遵循你的衝動的真正方向，遠離其他的衝動。

pole of the long-term. It's all so simple. Just get started with these tactics and

長期的極點。這一切是如此簡單。只要開始使用這些策略，就可以

let the sea carry you along.

讓大海帶著你走。

This video was produced as an adaptation of How to Be Miserable by Dr. Randy J.

這段視頻是由蘭迪博士（Dr. Randy J.）所著的《如何成為悲慘的人》改編而成。

Patterson, which is a great example of how thinking about the opposite of your

帕特森，這是一個很好的例子，說明如何思考你的反面。

goal can help you achieve what you really want. And if you want to listen to

目標可以幫助你實現你真正想要的東西。而如果你想聽

it for free you can do so on Audible.com with their

你可以在Audible.com上通過他們的網站免費下載。

free 30-day trial. Audible is the best place to get your audiobooks. It's where

免費30天試用。Audible是獲得有聲讀物的最佳場所。它是

I get my audiobooks and you should too. Audible content includes an unmatched

我得到了我的有聲讀物，你也應該得到。Audible的內容包括無與倫比的

selection of audiobooks, original audio shows, news, comedy, and more. If you want

選擇有聲讀物、原創音頻節目、新聞、喜劇，以及更多。如果你想

to listen to it, Audible has it. Go to audible.com/grey to get your free

要聽它，Audible有它。前往 audible.com/grey 獲取免費的

audio book with a 30-day trial. There you can get How to Be Miserable or any other

有聲書的30天試用期。在那裡，你可以獲得《如何做一個痛苦的人》或其他任何

book that you want. We briefly covered seven of the strategies from the book,

你想要的書。我們簡要地介紹了書中的七個策略、

but there are 33 more and I highly recommend that everyone read it to find

但還有33個，我強烈建議每個人都讀一讀，以發現

the ones that most resonate with you. Audible is simply the best. You can

最能與你產生共鳴的。Audible簡直是最好的。你可以

listen to your book anywhere, they will always sync your place, and they have

在任何地方聽你的書，他們總是會同步你的位置，他們有

a great listen guarantee. If you don't like a book that you bought, you can just

一個偉大的聽覺保證。如果你不喜歡你買的書，你可以直接

swap it, no questions asked. Once again, that's audible.com/grey for a free

換掉它，不問任何問題。再一次，這就是 audible.com/grey的免費服務。

30-day trial.

30天試用。