Name: 女生做得到但男生做不了的事？讓脫口秀演員 K-von 解釋給你聽！ (Women Have Skills That Men Don't. K-von)
Uploaded: 2023-10-09T21:01:30.000Z
Duration: 3 min 30 s

形容詞比較級

And every new idea that comes out of there, they adopt it immediately and I'm a little more conservative.

每有一個新想法，他們都會立即採納，而我則比較保守。

Like the new one is any man that says they're a woman, immediately, you must address them as a woman.

比如新的想法是，任何男人只要說自己是女人，你必須立刻以女性的身份稱呼他們。

I'm like, all right, but they should have to pass a test first.

我想，可以，但她們應該先通過考試。

Because women have skills men don't have.

是不是女人不是你自己說的算。

Do something a woman can do, then I'll believe you. Right?

做一些只有女人能做的事，那我就相信你。對不對？

Can you break into my iphone and the time I go to the bathroom and come back to the dinner table?

你能不能在我去上廁所到回來的這段時間內解鎖我的手機？

Can you be totally starving but have no idea what you want to eat?

你能不能餓得前胸貼後背，卻不知道自己想吃什麼？是

Can you turn a compliment into an argument?

It's like, "Babe, you look beautiful tonight."

像是「寶貝，你今晚看起來很漂亮。」

「所以我昨晚看起來不漂亮嗎？」

"So I don't look beautiful in real life?"

「所以我在現實生活中並不漂亮？」

Actually, I believe there's so many things women can do better than guys.

事實上，我相信有很多事情女人比男人做得更好。

Women can do things like here's one example that I was at the mall with my nephew, babysitting him.

女人可以做一些事情，比如我和我的侄子一起在商場看孩子。

I'm just walking to the mall and a woman I didn't know pulled up a knee.

我剛走到商場，一個我不認識的女人走過來彎下身子。

我說：「不是，他是我姪子。」

And she, she without any hesitation, she says, "He is adorable."

她毫不猶豫地說：「他很可愛。」

「你叫什麼名字？你真可愛。」

"Marcus. When you turn 18, I'm coming back for you. You're a little heartbreaker."

「Marcus，等你滿18歲，我就回來找你。你是個小負心漢。」

And she walked away, went back to shopping.

Any guy, go to the mall, just approach a woman you don't know.

你們任何一位去商場，接近一個你不認識的女人。

"Is that your niece? Can I have a word with her, please?"

「那是你的侄女嗎？我能和她說句話嗎？」

"Wow. When you turn 18, I'm coming back for you."

「哇等你滿18歲，我就回來找你。」

「把她留給我。這小女孩真不錯。」

"That's right. R. Kelly. Tell it to the judge. Tell it to the judge."

「最好是。R. Kelly。去跟法官說吧。」

How about it's Valentine's Day or maybe your girl misses you and she sends you a romantic picture.

今天是情人節，或者是你的女朋友想你了，給你發了一張浪漫的照片。

Oh, can't wait to get home. She misses me.

女性可以發送那些浪漫的照片。

But men, if you send a picture of you laying in the beach, rolling around in the sand, bending over in a speedo.

但是男人們，如果你發一張你躺在沙灘上，在沙子裡打滾，穿著 speedo 彎著腰的照片。

You're not gonna get a positive reaction.

A lot of guys are getting busted for taking those romantic pictures.

很多人因為拍攝浪漫照片而被抓。

我把這個節目變成了一場 TED 演講。

I teach men how to take the best, most seductive picture for the women in this room.

我教男人們如何為在座的女人拍出最美、最誘人的照片。

Go home, get in the closet and put all your clothes on. Your best clothes, don't take anything off.

回到家，鑽進衣櫃，把你們最好的衣服都穿上，什麼都別脫，

Put on your dress shoes, dress socks, dress pants, belt, shirt, tie, suit coat, briefcase.

穿上正裝鞋、正裝襪子、正裝褲、腰帶、襯衫、領帶、西裝外套，公文包。

If you really want to turn her on, let your 401k dangle out of the front of the briefcase.

如果你真的想讓她對你動心，讓你的 401k 放在公文包前面晃。

只是一點小提示，只是一點小提示。