I have to buy pain medication for my mother

so I get there with the script, the woman's behind the counter

She's like, "Hi Sir, can I help you with anything?"

I said yes, I need to fill this prescription please

she goes, "Okay, let me just check here, that's for Mrs Noah?"

I said yes, yes.

"Okay, hold on.

Oh, I am sorry Sir. We don't have any stock there."

I said what do you mean no stock?

She said, "Yeah, we got nothing of that medicine"

I said well, when are you getting more?

"Oh, we are not gonna get for a few months hey

there's a back-order problem"

Okay, so what do you. My mom needs the pain medication.

She's like, "Yeah, I'm sorry."

Oh, well.

"Just joking!

you should have seen your face, hey

I've also got jokes there Trevor, I've also got jokes."

I'm like, you got jokes?

my mom's in pain, she got shot

you got jokes?

this is not the time for jokes, what the hell. It's not funny lady!

It's too soon, it's just too soon!

it's too soon.

Ah, Hospitals.

I'm not a fan.

I had to go back for my surgery, voice surgery.

One of the most stressful days of my life.

I am there 5 o'clock in the morning, I'm sitting in the waiting area.

There's this woman that checks you in for you surgery.

She's not friendly at all, she's not even trying to make people feel good.

She's like, “next!”

And you will come up, “next!”

It's my turn and she's like, “Name!”

Trevor

“Trevor”

“Surname!”

I said: “Noah”

“Noah”

“Noah?”

“Trevor Noah?”

I said: “yes”

“Trevor Noah?”

I said: “yes”

“The comedian?”

“The one who's making the jokes, he?”

“Yes”

“The jokes about us when we are on strike, he?”

“No, not that one. This one.”

“It's another one, it's not me.”

She's like, “Yea!”

“Yea, you are here now, he?”

“Hmm, it's not funny now, hey?”

“No, it's not funny.”

She's like, “Yea, where's your jokes now?”

“They're in the car”

“What?” “No, nothing. Nothing.”

“Hmm, funny guy. So what you doing here? You going to surgery?”

I said: “yes”

“Why you talking like that, what's wrong?”

“I have got a thing.”

“Oh, the voice is broken, he?”

“Did you break something, what's wrong is it sore?”

I said: “yes”

“Oh, I'm sorry. It's sore?”

I said: “yes”

“You want the medicine?”

I said: “yes”

“okay, let me just check.”

“Oh, they say laughter is the best medicine.”

“Yea, so why don't you just make a joke and fix it?”

“Just make a joke on the inside funny guy.”

“Even me, I can do it for you.”

I can make a joke, I can fix that

Knock, knock. Who's there?”

“Nobody, yeah!”

“Funny, funny.”

“Funny, Next!”

It's not funny

it's my life

oh, welcome guys. Welcome.

just in time

just started the show

did he just ask you what did I miss, what did I miss?

why are you guys so late, what happened?

Eish!

Eish, see patience, patience

"Eish, late, Eish"

go away, go away

Luckily the voice surgery was a success

you know, I had a great doctor

I was blessed enough to be able to heal

and I can do the shows again

most important thing though, is the tea

and as weird as it sounds, I have to drink it

it's a mixture of Rooibos

lemon, honey, ginger, sea salt and bicarb

disgusting, but it works

but it's great, I can do my shows in South Africa

I can do my shows in Southern Africa

which is fantastic, so I'm doing that

going out into Africa, have you ever been into Africa Sir?

No, what's your name if you don't mind me asking?

Gerhard, Gerhard. Never been out into Africa

No, the reason I said out into Africa

is because this is not Africa

No, South Africa is not. This is Africa Lite guys.

this is

don't get it twisted, when I say Africa

I mean Africa, like Africa, Africa. No jokes.

No white people, nothing nothing.

it's just you in the streets Gerhard, just you

just you, if you see like one other white person

you're happy, yay!

it's your reflection.

I've started doing shows out there Gerhard, you know

Places like Namibia, fantastic

Botswana as well, beautiful

Wanted to go to Zimbabwe, but I skipped it

No, because I don't want to die. That's the only reason.

You laugh but I mean this, you cant make jokes

about Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe

if you do this, you get arrested

and get sent to prison for mocking the president, right.

so I know I would go there, and I wouldn't be able to resist

I would be like, "Hey, Mustache hey"

and then, I'm in jail.

which normally wouldn't be such a bad thing

because what would happen normally in an international incident like that

is normally your president would just come there

he would ask you to be released and taken back to your country

but now, I don't know

if that guy

will come and fetch me.

I can see him sending Mugabe the e-mail now

"It's fine, Rob"

"keep him"

so I am not taking any chances.