I grew up very stereotypically in Hong Kong.

Like, like my real name is not even Jimmy.

That's my English name.

My real name is Man Xing in Cantonese is maan sing.

It stands for 10,000 success.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I have very ambitious parents and now I'm telling dick jokes and doing Tai Chi on stage, so.

Jimmy was just kind of like an arbitrary English name that just sounded easy.

And my dad, he named himself Richard.

I was like, "Dad, why did you name yourself Richard?"

He was like, "Because I want to be rich." That makes so much sense.

And then they named my older brother Roger after the James Bond actor Roger Moore.

Yeah, but my brother hated that name.

He was like, "Man, it makes me sound like an old white guy."

So eventually he changed his own name to Roy.

So now he sounds like an older white guy and now his full name is Roy Roger, which is the oldest white guy to ever white.

I was very good at math.

That's a big Asian stereotype.

I think there's some truth to that.

Not because of some weird genetic thing just because our parents care so much more about mathematics and academics, right?

You guys seen it, you guys seen those like Kumon learning centers and those strip malls? Right?

Kumon learning centers, for you guys don't know, are basically detention camps for young Asian children.

You can tell that place is kind of fucked up by the look of its logo because it is supposed to be a smiley face, but it's not really smiling.

It's just like.

My parents were way too cheap to send me to Kumon.

They got a different strategy.

They never let me use a calculator until I turned 15.

So I can work on my brain function.

That's an old school Chinese strategy, you know.

So when I turned 15, it was a very special occasion.

It was basically my quinceanera.

My dad just gave me a TI 83 plus.

And he looked me in the eyes and he was like, "You're a woman now. OK?"

I know I make fun of my parents.

But at the end of the day, I love them very much.

I think we all do, right?

But Asian people, we don't ever say I love you to each other.

That's just not our thing.

One time I got high and I called my mom.

I was like, "Mom. I just want to tell you Mom, I love you."

And you can hear her start like crying on the other side of the line.

She was like, "Oh Jimmy, do you have a cancer?"

We just got different ways of showing love.

Like when I see my grandmother, I don't give her a hug. I just give her a solid handshake.

We are not about that hugging and Asian grandma they're the best.

You give her a handshake. She is like a vending machine.

You give her a handshake, out comes a red envelope.

And you got to pretend you don't want that shit.

You're like, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please, please. Ok, thank you."

That's just how we show love.

My dad still calls me like 20 times a day just to check up on me.

It's annoying but I understand that's how he shows love.

I was talking to my friend here and he was like, "Oh I haven't, I haven't talked to my dad in three weeks."

I am like, "What is he, in jail?"

He was like, "No, I live with him. I just haven't talked to him in three weeks."

I am like, "You do understand if I don't call my dad back in three hours. He is gonna call 911."

"911, what's your emergency?

"My son is a dead."

He's like, "Sir, is everything okay? Is your son dead?"

He is like, "No, but he is a dead to me. Oay, bye."