Doesn't that sound odd?

Every guy in this room has a pillow, but he has no idea where it came from.

Every guy in this room has a pillow.

You've had one all your life. You don't know where it came from.

Because guys don't buy pillows.

You've never bought a pillow in your life.

No, guys are issued pillows. Right?

I think when we're born we got a name, a mom, and a pillow.

I really think.

What? You've always had it. You took it for granted, right?

Went off to college, took it into the dorm with you.

You don't know where it came from.

Got your first apartment, there it was, right there pillow.

There's my pillow, right there.

I lost my pillow, I freaked out. I'd had it forever.

It's like, where am I going to get another one of those?

I ended up back at the information desk, in a shopping mall. Right?

A little information desk, with a little old lady right there.

She goes, "What happened to the one you were issued?"

I don't know.

And then the saleslady goes, "What kind of pillow do you want?"

Yeah, exactly. I'm like, "One like I had."

"A white one."

"Stains, mine had stains."

"Looked like a map of Eastern Europe."

"Is that still popular? Can I get that?"

If a woman comes into your life, you get a lot of pillows.

Like shoes, they like pillows.

How many pillows should be on the bed, sir?

29, that's correct. That's correct.

I mean I go to bed at night, I can't really lie down.

It's just like flying coach. It's kind of like, "Oh. Oh, this is great. No, this is nice. No, I'm fine, honey. I'm fine."

"Hey, I can still see some of the comforter right here. Probably got room for another pillow right there."

And when you make the bed, you have to get the pillows in the right order. Right?

The first pillow is called the sham. It's the sham.

It's the biggest pillow on the bed. It has ruffles, that's how you know it.

And they call it the sham because that's what it is.

It's about $150 for that.

They were going to call it the scam, but that was a little too obvious. Let's call it the sham.

Then, the next pillow was the actual working pillow, the one you sleep on.

And then they even have smaller pillows, that go between the cracks of a larger pillow.

I think those are called grouting pillows. I'm not sure about that.

Have you ever seen a pillow in the trash? We can't bring ourselves to throw a pillow away.

I've never seen a pillow in the trash.

We don't throw them out after they get old. We stick them in the closet for guests.

Put them up there in the linen closet for guests.

To become like a little wafer over the years that go by. Little brown wafer.

If you have a sleepover at somebody's house, you never want the guest pillow. Right?

"Can I get you a pillow?"

"No, I've seen your fan mail, thank you."