Name: 【Steve He】如果聖誕老公公是個「亞洲人」(If Santa Was ASIAN)
Uploaded: 2023-12-24T21:01:10.000Z
Duration: 4 min 6 s

轉承詞

I having trouble because of your fake chimney.

因為你的假煙囪，我遇到了麻煩。

Are you sure you're Santa? You look different from last year.

你確定你是聖誕老人嗎？你看起來和去年不一樣了。

Nick has a doctor's appointment today, so I'm filling in for his job.

聖誕老人尼克今天要去看醫生，所以我就代替了他的工作。

等等，這是不是意味著馴鹿魯道夫在外面？

I thought kids in Asia didn't believe in Santa.

我以為亞洲的孩子不相信聖誕老公公。

讓我們看看你今年過得怎麼樣...

那是「壞孩子還是好孩子清單」嗎？

Much more streamlined workflow... you know, high efficiency.

工作流程更加簡化，效率更高。

Corporate wanted to improve production, so...

Ah, here you are... "Steven," why you on the Failure List lah?

在這「史蒂芬」，你為什麼在「失敗清單」上？

哎呀，你在富比世 30 位 30 歲以下精英裡？

為什麼不是 10 位 10 歲以下精英？

Timmy 就在 1 位 1 歲以下精英裡。

He was born, made his first million dollars on his way home from the hospital.

他出生，在從醫院回家的路上就賺到了他的第一百萬美元。

「親愛的聖誕老人，我想要一台 PS4」錯。

「... 還有一台任天堂 Switch。」錯。

Okay, look, I'm gonna have to give you a B-, okay?

好的。聽著，我必須給你給你 B-，好嗎？

This practically the Unemployed Starter Pack.

Watches Youtube once, now you think you're Pokimane.

看過一次 Youtube，現在你認為自己是 Pokimane。

Also I have for you a bag of rice, a Kumon subscription and a Starbucks apron so you can apply for a job to...

此外，我還為你準備了一袋米、一個公文式會員和一條星巴克圍裙，這樣你就可以申請工作來...

To invest in an index fund which tracks the overall movement of the market.

來投資追蹤市場整體走勢的指數基金。

Now, remember, time in the market better than timing the market, okay.

請記住，在市場上把握時機比把握市場時機更好，好嗎？

Dollar cost averaging a good place to start.

美元成本平均是一個很好的起點。

Also, don't forget to open a Roth IRA account, where your contributions can grow tax-free.

另外，不要忘記開設羅斯 IRA 退休帳戶，你的捐款可以免稅增長。

Oh, that's after you work 40 years in a job you hate so you save enough money to do things you love, like, I don't know, painting like music or theater...

退休就是你在一份你討厭的工作上工作了 40 年之後，你存了足夠的錢去做你喜歡的事情，比如，我不知道，畫畫，比如音樂或戲劇…

I know! I'll skip all that and become an actor today.

我知道！我今天會跳過這一切，成為一名演員。

If I want to see another unemployed actor, I subscribe to my own channel.

如果我想看另一個失業演員，我會訂閱自己的頻道。

但關繼威最近剛獲得了奧斯卡獎，所以...

Now, remember, give up your dreams, study hard, go be an engineer and you can thank me later, okay?

請記住，放棄你的夢想，努力學習，去當一名工程師，你以後會感謝我的，好嗎？

(Steven studied and got accepted to Harvard.)

（史蒂文學習並被哈佛錄取。）

(He drove Mercedes Benz in an upsacle neighborhood.)

（他在一個高檔社區開著賓士車。）

(And he rretired at 62 and finally got a PS5.)

（他 62 歲退休，終於得到了一台 PS5。）

訂閱我的頻道，並祝你佳節愉快！

字幕列表影片播放

【Steve He】如果聖誕老公公是個「亞洲人」(If Santa Was ASIAN)

subscribe

improve

average

failure