I having trouble because of your fake chimney.

Why you don't get a real chimney?

I know a guy, I'll hook you up...

Wait. How did you get in?

Did you use magic?

I'm an engineer during the weekdays.

Oh, thank you.

You don't have to make me cookies.

Are you sure you're Santa? You look different from last year.

I'm Asian Santa.

Nick has a doctor's appointment today, so I'm filling in for his job.

Guy works only one day a year.

I don't know why he put his...

It's not even nighttime.

I'm Asian. I come to work early.

Wait, does that mean Rudolph is outside?

I drove my Tesla.

I thought kids in Asia didn't believe in Santa.

That's because they make the toys.

Okaaay.

Let's see how you've been this year...

Oh, is that the Naughty and Nice List?

No, it's a costume prop.

We use iPad now.

Much more streamlined workflow... you know, high efficiency.

Corporate wanted to improve production, so...

Ah, here you are... "Steven," why you on the Failure List lah?

What'd you do?

Haiyah, you on Forbes 30 Under 30?

Why not 10 Under 10?

Timmy got 1 Under 1.

He was born, made his first million dollars on his way home from the hospital.

Okay, let's see...

Where's your letter leh?

Here we go...

Uh, "Steven," yes.

"Dear Santa, I want a PS4..." wrong.

"... and with Spider-Man 2..." wrong.

"... and a Nintendo Switch." wrong.

"Thank you very much." Correct.

Okay, look, I'm gonna have to give you a B-, okay?

This practically the Unemployed Starter Pack.

Watches Youtube once, now you think you're Pokimane.

Okay, here you go.

My gift is an accounting book?

Your gift is a good job.

But I also want a gaming laptop...

What da hell you say?

'Cause it's ahhh...

I'm interested in computer engineering.

Oh, you scared me.

I almost called the Beijing Embassy.

Good, good.

That's a good choice.

Computer engineers make a lot of money.

Nice, here you go. - Awesome!

Also I have for you a bag of rice, a Kumon subscription and a Starbucks apron so you can apply for a job to...

... buy fun stuff!

To invest in an index fund which tracks the overall movement of the market.

Now, remember, time in the market better than timing the market, okay.

Dollar cost averaging a good place to start.

Also, don't forget to open a Roth IRA account, where your contributions can grow tax-free.

What's retirement?

Oh, retirement?

Oh, that's after you work 40 years in a job you hate so you save enough money to do things you love, like, I don't know, painting like music or theater...

I know! I'll skip all that and become an actor today.

What da hell you say?

Hello, Beijing Embassy.

This kid aspires to be homeless.

If I want to see another unemployed actor, I subscribe to my own channel.

But Ke Huy Quan just won an Oscar, so...

I don't know, maybe I can do it too.

He has talent.

You have dandruff.

Now, remember, give up your dreams, study hard, go be an engineer and you can thank me later, okay?

Okay, I see you next year.

Okay, see you!

(Steven studied and got accepted to Harvard.)

(He then went to work for Google.)

(He drove Mercedes Benz in an upsacle neighborhood.)

(And he rretired at 62 and finally got a PS5.)

Just kidding.

I'm a YouTuber.

Subscribe and happy holidays.

We'll see you next year.

Nick only works one day a year.

Lazy bastard.