Who's been good about their resolutions so far?

Aaron, tell us about it.

Well, my goal was to learn a new word every single day, and I must say that it is going immensely.

Cool.

Here's a little way-to-go gift from Sabre.

Intercepted. Hey, babe.

Oopsie doopsie.

Creed. I noticed you don't have a resolution on the board. What's yours?

I want to do a cartwheel, but real casual, like, not make a big deal out of it.

But I know everybody saw it.

Just one stunning, gorgeous cartwheel.

How's it going?

I'm having a little trouble motivating.

One of the hardest parts about making resolutions is keeping them.

In fact, most resolutions are abandoned by February.

Or sooner.

Yeah. - It's not a joke.

But that's okay because it's not about being perfect. It's about trying.

In fact, why don't we go around and confess some of the ways that we've already fudged on our resolutions?

Well, I said that I would eat more vegetables, and I haven't yet, but it's okay. I still have time.

Since last year I ate none.

Okay, well, my confession is that today I had a sip of coffee, but that's fine.

Is it?

Yes, because with all of your support, by this time next year, maybe I'll be down to one glass of iced tea a week.

Next year? Come on. I mean, what is the point?

What is the point of that?

I made a resolution to floss and I did it.

1201, January 1st.

Bam! Blood everywhere.

Well, not all of us are Michael freaking Scott.

What is wrong with you, people?

Can't you stick to anything?

Aaron, I want you to go to the kitchen and get me some vegetables.

Creed, you say you want to do a cartwheel.

Nothing's stopping you.

Come on, old man, do a cartwheel.

Well, I can't, I don't know how.

You're just going to somersault around for the rest of your life, and you know it's going to be on your tombstone.

Loser.

My tombstone is already made. Thank you.

Just do a cartwheel.

This is all I could find.

Eat it.

You don't have to do that, Kevin.

Oh no, I'm glad this is happening.

Thank you, Michael.

Why are you eating stem first?

This is a new food for me. How else should I eat it.

The other way.

Can I get some Cheez Whiz or Hollandaise?

No, no.

No Cheez whiz, no hollandaise, no chocolate sauce. Just eat it. Come on.

Here comes the airplane. There you go.

Open. Open into the hanger.

There you go. Eat it.

Put it in your mouth and just eat it.

God, I hate it.

I don't care whether you hate it.

You said you do it. All right, Michael, eat it, eat it.

You're killing him, Michael.

All right, all right, all right.

I ate some fluffy part. Can I be done?

Let me see if you swallowed it.

Open your mouth.

Under your tongue. Oh, God.

You guys are pathetic.

Can I get some candy or something?

No, you can't have any candy.

Get him water. - Okay, Michael, just settle down.

Oh. Oh, God.

I just feel blocked.

I feel like I'm living, but I'm not.

Hey, Ryan. How's your fart project coming?

That's real, real classy, Kevin.

Hey, was it me or you that just shoved the butt end of a pound of broccoli into my mouth? Because Michael told me to.

Me?

Kevin, don't.

Huh? Come on.

Oh, Pam. Soda. Caffeine.

Yeah, just a little.

I have a lot to deal with today.

Well, if you don't have to do them.

Meredith, what are you doing?

I could be pregnant.

Okay. No.

Oh, my resolution was to get more attention.

No. She's lying.

Hey, Ryan.

One. Two. Three.

I did it. I did a cartwheel.

Fuck you. Fuck you.

God. Okay.

That's it.

Lesson learned.