Martin, are you ready?

Let's do it, players.

Ozo, are you ready? - Yeah!

Kicking off our new season of Stand-Up Revolution, you guys, is a friend of ours that we've been touring with for the last four months.

Believe me when I tell you, this guy is a superstar in the making.

Coming to you all the way from South Africa, put your hands together, show your love for our friend, Mr. Trevor Noah.

I'm glad to be here, man.

This was my dream.

My dream was to come to America.

You know, not, not for a job or money or anything.

I've got a great life back home.

I always came here because I wanted one thing and that is I always wanted to be black.

I grew up in South Africa during a time known as Apartheid.

And for those who don't know, Apartheid was a law in the country that made it illegal for black and white people to mix.

Which was awkward for me because I grew up in a mixed family.

Well, with me being the mixed one in the family.

My mother's a black woman, South African, and my father's Swiss, from Switzerland.

So he was a white man. Well, he still is. It's not like he changed.

I say that like, "Through hard work and determination, he became black." No.

That did not happen.

And sir, you're fine.

I see the white guy going, "Is that possible?"

No, it's not possible. You are fine, sir. He's still very white. Very white.

And so they got together, my parents. Black mom, white dad, which was against the law, but they didn't care.

They were Mavericks, you know?

Yeah, my mom was like, "Woo, I don't care. I want a white man! Woo!"

And my dad was also, well, you know how the Swiss love chocolate, you know. So he was just...

He was in there.

So they got together then they had me, which was illegal.

So I was born a crime, which is something they never thought through because as a family, we didn't live together normally.

Like in the streets, my father had to walk on the other side of the road and he could just wave at me from far like a creepy pedophile,

My mom could walk with me, but if the police showed up, she had to let go and act like I wasn't hers, every time.

Like, [police siren], it's not mine, it's not mine!

Felt like a bag of weed.

And one fateful day, you know, because I was never given a race, I was never called black, I was never called white.

I had the privilege of meeting an American, and he said to me,

"So, well, you know, Trevor, it's funny you say that 'cause if you come out to America, they'll label you as black."

I said, "Really?"

He said, "Hell yeah! Everybody's black out there."

And I was like, "Well, I want to be black. Yeah!"

I bought myself a plane ticket because I found out it's true.

Mixed-race people are categorized as black in America.

Yeah, the only catch is, you have to be successful first.

Before that, they call you mixed. Achieve success, and you get upgraded to black.

All the famous mixed people have done it. Singers like Alicia Keys and Mariah Carey, mixed, but they say black, right?

Tiger Woods, mixed, but they say black golfer.

The most famous mixed person on the planet, Barack Obama, mixed, half and half.

But you say your first black president.

When he was running, he was the mixed candidate.

Now it seems obvious. People are like, "Yeah, he won."

Back then, nobody believed he would win.

I remember comedians dissing him.

They'd come and be like, "How many of y'all seen that mixed race fool running for president?

Y'all see that crazy ass mixed fool? How's some mixed fool gonna come in- even a black man can't win. This mixed fool thinks he gonna win. He gonna win shit.

Ain't no mixed fool- I ain't see no mixed fool coming out here winning the United States- That mixed fool. That mixed fool."

And then he won, and all of a sudden they were like, "My nigga!"

So I see...

And I wanted black.

So I bought myself a plane ticket.

Yeah, 18 hours of flying, that's what I had to sit through.

18 hours of nonstop flying.

I didn't sleep a wink.

I sat on that plane and I watched every single black American movie and TV show I could find, just so I could practice being black.

I was not gonna mess up that blackopportunity.

I just sat there, like a madman in my chair just like watching movies, practicing.

"Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah."

Oh, you laugh, but I landed. landed in Miami and I was fluent in my black American.

For shizzle my nizza.

Yeah, I was so black, I was even laughing black. I was like, "Ha ha ha. Yeah! My man!"

I was super black! Until some guy came up to me and he was like, "Oye, Papi la llegamos!"

18 hours of flying, and I still wasn't black.

I was Puerto Rican.

You guys have been great. Thanks for having me.

Ladies and gentlemen, keep it going for Trevor Noah!

Woo! Oh my God. What a way to kick off our show, you guys.

Our first show with Mr. Trevor Noah.

Martin, Trevor Noah.

Dude, it was amazing, brother.

Did you see the women's response to Trevor.

How many of you ladies find Trevor's accent incredibly sexy?

How many of you guys found Trevor Noah's... Really Ozo?

I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna hate on him, the way- ladies, you went crazy for him, I know.

He's a good-looking man.

I'm not gay, but if we were locked up, hell yeah.

Oh, you don't even know! I would tear his ass up to the Lion King soundtrack.

A good-looking dude!

I gotta tell you guys, Trevor Noah has been on the road with Martin and I for like I said the last four months and he's a great friend and a funny, funny man.

Any of the stories you guys might have heard about us in the past and the practical jokes, they've all been true. Especially when a new guy shows up.

You know, Trevor's a cool dude, you guys, but we couldn't wait to have fun with him.

So let me tell you a quick story.

We were doing a show in a city called Eagle Pass in the state of Texas.

Now... We have some Tejanos in the house? What's up?

You're far from home, coño.

So anyway, we're doing a show out in Eagle Pass, Texas.

Now, I have a friend of mine named Rick Gutierrez, who's also a comic who was on last season who lives in San Antonio, Texas, which is about an hour or so away from Eagle Pass.

He bought a new car and he drove from Eagle Pass, I'm sorry, from San Antonio to Eagle Pass to meet up with his first show that night.

After the show was over, he says, "Hey, man," he goes, "You wanna leave a little bit early and we'll take my car and you can drive it, and the guys can catch up with us tomorrow in the tour bus."

So I'm like, "Cool, let's take off."

So I tell Martin and Trevor and the rest of the guys, "I'll see you guys tomorrow night. I'm leaving with Rick."

So we get in Rick's car and I get to drive.

We head to San Antonio.

About 30 minutes into the drive, we start seeing flashing lights on the side of the freeway and then a big sign that comes up and it says "Immigration Checkpoint Ahead".

Don't worry, this story ends differently.

So anyways, I still get nervous, you know, I'm driving and I pull up to the line.

And I'm sitting there and I'm just, I'm just waiting for the officer to say something that's gonna annoy the hell out of me.

So I'm just waiting and here comes the officer, and when he saw me, he said, "Aw, Fluffy!"

And when I heard that, in my mind, I was like, "I'm not going to jail."

He's like, "Dude, what are you doing here?"

I said, "Well, we have a show tomorrow night in San Antonio, and we're just passing through."

"Where's your tour bus?"

I said, "Well, my tour bus is back in Eagle Pass with the other guys."

He goes, "Can we take a picture?"

I go, "What about, you know, cars coming?"

He goes, "There hasn't been a car here in hours."

So we get out of the car, we take some pictures with the immigration officer and the dog, you know...

We get back inside and he says, "Thank you so much for taking the picture with me. I really appreciate it, man. We're just bored right now."

I go, "Really? You guys are bored?"

"Yeah, we're bored."

I said, "Well, my tour bus is gonna be passing through here in about two hours."

And I said, "We have a new guy on the bus who's from South Africa and he's been bragging about his immigration status and how he never has problems with customs or immigration 'cause all of his paperwork is always in order.

I'm just saying, you know, if you're bored."

Next morning, you guys, I get a text from Trevor, okay?

You see how cool and calm he is. That text sounded mad.

I just looked at it and it said, "You're a dick."

I couldn't get to Trevor fast enough to hear the story, right?

So Martin and I, we pull up to the theater, and we see Trevor, and he already told me in the car.

"Hey, dude, Trevor is mad."

I'm like, I see Trevor and I'm like, "Trevor, are you okay?"

And he just went off.

"Gabriel, it was insanity, I tell you, it was insanity.

They pulled me off the tour bus like I was a common criminal.

I wasn't wearing any pants.

They took away my passport, my cell phone, all of my money.

They stuck me in a jail cell with other criminals.

Don't you have anything to say?"

I said, "Dude, you said you wanted to be black."