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You used to be a gifted kid and now you're a distractible 20-something-year-old with 300 hobbies and a job that you hate.
你曾經是個有天賦的孩子,現在你是個心煩意亂的20多歲的人,有300個嗜好和一份你討厭的工作。
Let's talk about why and how we can fix it growing up doing things, especially intellectual things probably came really easy to you, which sounds great, except it starts to become a part of our identity.
讓我們談談為什麼以及如何在成長過程中解決這個問題,尤其是智力上的事情對你來說可能真的很容易,這聽起來很棒,但它開始成為我們身份的一部分。
We start to tell ourselves, "Ah, I am the smart talented kid who can do anything with little to no effort."
我們開始告訴自己:「啊,我是一個聰明有才華的孩子,可以毫不費力地做任何事情。」
We start to label other people harshly as the dumb kids.
我們開始嚴厲地給別人貼上「笨小孩」的標籤。
And in the moment we can't see what the problem is.
目前我們看不出問題出在哪裡。
That doesn't surface until later when we encounter challenges that we cannot overcome with raw ability alone.
直到後來我們遇到僅靠原始能力無法克服的挑戰時,這一點才會浮出水面。
Instead of starting to try, we give up.
我們沒有開始嘗試,而是放棄了。
This happened to me in my first year of university.
這件事發生在我大學一年級的時候。
For the first time ever, school is really challenging and instead of trying to work through it, I gave up.
有史以來第一次,學校真的充滿了挑戰,我沒有嘗試克服它,而是放棄了。
I hid behind the shield of "I could have done it if I tried," and I refused to put in effort.
我躲在「如果我嘗試的話我就能做到」的盾牌後面,我拒絕付出努力。
I was afraid.
我很害怕。
I compensated by picking up a bunch of different hobbies.
我透過培養一系列不同的興趣來彌補。
But the same problem persisted.
但同樣的問題仍然存在。
We start a new hobby and when things are new and exciting, it's easy to find motivation to get better at it.
我們開始了一項新的愛好,當事情新鮮而令人興奮時,就很容易找到動力去做得更好。
But as soon as things become difficult, we give up.
但一旦事情變得困難,我們就會放棄。
Meanwhile, the kids that we labeled as stupid or dumb, learned how to work hard, and as every football coach says, "Hard work beats talent."
同時,那些被我們標記為笨小孩的人學會瞭如何努力工作,正如每個足球教練所說的那樣:「努力勝過天賦。」
Being used to having things come easy meant that we never learned how to struggle.
習慣了一帆風順,意味著我們從未學會如何奮鬥。
As we get older, we go from being talented kids to loser adults.
隨著年齡的增長,我們從天才兒童變成了失敗的成年人。
But what if talent starts to work hard?
但如果天才開始努力呢?
The problem I think is that deep down, we still think that we're gifted, smart, talented kids and we still think that being talented is important.
我認為問題在於,在內心深處,我們仍然認為自己是有天賦、聰明、有才華的孩子,我們仍然認為有才華很重要。
To fix this, we need to uncouple talent from our identity.
我們需要將人才與我們的身份脫鉤。
Now, every quality that we identify ourselves with, whether it be pretty or smart or athletic, is relative to other people.
現在,我們所認同的每一項特質,無論是漂亮、聰明或運動,都是相對於其他人的。
Growing up, we thought we were gifted and good at school because compared to the dumb kids, everything came easy to us.
在成長過程中,我們認為自己很有天賦,在學校表現也很好,因為與那些笨小孩相比,一切對我們來說都很容易。
And so to shed this label, I started looking, really looking, not to people that were behind, but instead ahead of where I was.
因此,為了擺脫這個標籤,我開始尋找,真正的尋找,不是那些落後的人,而是那些領先我的人。
Whenever I used to compare myself to other people, it was with envy.
每當我將自己與其他人進行比較時,我都會感到嫉妒。
I used to think, "They got lucky."
我曾經認為「他們很幸運」、
"I could have done it if I tried," or "They were privileged, there was no way I could compete with that."
「如果我嘗試的話,我就能做到」,或者「他們享有特權,我無法與之競爭。」
But this time, I tried to be really clear and really rational.
但這一次,我努力做到真正清晰、真正理性。
No more excuses and no more lies. I told myself, "Compared to these people, you're nothing special."
不再有藉口,不再有謊言。 我告訴自己:「和這些人相比,你沒什麼特別的。」
My self-talk started to change from "You are a smart, talented individual that can do anything with no effort" to "You are a normal person that is stupid sometimes and you need to put an effort to achieve anything."
我的自言自語開始從「你是一個聰明、有才華的人,可以毫不費力地做任何事情」轉變為「你是一個普通人,有時很愚蠢,你需要付出努力才能實現任何目標」。
Surprisingly, it actually started to work.
出乎意料的是,它真的開始起作用了。
Losing the label of being talented or gifted, gave me permission to fail and actually allowed me to start working hard.
失去了有才華或有天賦的標籤,讓我允許失敗,實際上讓我開始努力。
Somewhere deep down, I still am that annoying gifted kid, but I do feel that I'm growing up just a little and I think that if I can do it, you can too.
在內心深處,我仍然是那個令人討厭的天才孩子,但我確實覺得我長大了一點,我想如果我能做到,你也可以。
Thanks for watching.
感謝觀看。