"I hate this!" Says Graystripe, purring as he poses for the Christmas photo.

"Really need to get out of here." Says Graystripe, rolling around in the grass in the garden.

"I sure do miss my friends.." Says Graystripe, cuddling his new owner.

As soon as he gets outside, he gets totally lost and a kittypet has to lead him back home like, "Okay, don't get lost again, sweetie~"

He decides immediately that this kittypet is the love of his life for showing him basic human kindness.

He teaches her how to kill.

then Graystripe has a dream where Silverstream appears and she shows off the cool dead daughter she has now.

More importantly, Millie ????? knowing how to kill.

In the middle of a kitty cat wrestling match, this big cat jumps into the ring and shouts about how he's

the toughest, strongest, biggest boy around.

He initiates this cool one-on-one battle that he invented where he brings along two guys.

Graystripe immediately bites his neck and he flips out! And Millie helps.

"You should go home, Graystripe." says Millie.

"Shut up. You don't know me, you can never understand me." Responds Graystripe,

who in this book is super brooding and angry and has like literally none of his goofball

personality from the actual books.

Then Silverstream floats down from heaven to tell him to hook up with Millie because she's ????????

gotten together with the ghost of Rainwhisker or something.

So Graystripe decides that he SHOULD go home

But only if he can take his attractive new girlfriend with him.

"Whoa there, I just met you three days ago." Responds, Millie.

Then he takes off and wanders around aimlessly until Millie tracks him down and finds him in some sort of vacant lot starving to death.

She overhears him mumbling about Silverstream and asks with that all about,

and he tells her that Silverstream is the super hot dead chick that he loves more than her,

that he also knew for three days before getting together.

"Huuuh... Oookay!" Says Millie.

And then they walk into the sunset as if Graystripe telling Millie that she's second in his heart is the ultimate display of romance.

Millie miraculously knows exactly where to go, so they zoom right over to the old Clan territories.

When they're almost there they reenact that scene where Mufasa shows Simba the stars

because warrior cats and The Lion King have like the exact same religion.

Millie gets hit by every car and goes flying into a nearby corn field where Graystripe meets

Splash, Moss, her kits, and her husband, Yami Yugi

They go to look for Millie,

But they find out that corn is her weakness and she has nearly died.

Yugi tells them that they used to live in the nearby house until their owners died horribly in an unspecified accident.

But what's worse is that the new owners of the house are these dudebro dog people who think it's funny to let their animals kill

other pets.

The dogs corner Graytripe, so Millie jumps down and tells them in

dog language to "Leave and never come back."

Then she teaches everyone in the barn to speak dog

Which apparently is just a thing cats have been doing and could be doing this whole time?

But absolutely will never happen again.

Now that all the dogs have been dealt with the cats all hunt the weakest twoleg, but accidentally save it instead making the

Twolegs love them.

They hand Yugi's wife and children over to the humans which angers him but it's too late now,

so Graystripe and Millie just take off.

They finally make it to Thunderclan territory, but it's a complete wasteland.

Apparently they cleared out the forest and then didn't start any development at all, just making the territory an empty lot.

They didn't even bother taking up the tree stumps.

They crash at Ravenpaw and Barley's barn,

something cats will do until the end of time.

He asks Ravenpaw how long it's been since the Clans left, and he implies that it's been well over a year.

They cleared out this lot a year ago and still haven't bothered removing all the stumps. This is too realistic...

They travel a bit more and then stay the night in a cat friendly AutoZone, and

Graystripe realizes that he's never taught Millie that Clan cats don't eat fast food.

Instead of explaining this calmly, anger-management Graystripe flips out as if Millie should have already known,

and makes himself look like an unstable idiot in front of the onlooking garage cat.

He also gets comedically hit by a car!

After yelling at Millie and acting like a huge jerk for a few weeks,

Graystripe remembers that he never even asked her out in the first place,

And she's been flirting with the garage cat.

"I have something to tell you." He says.

"Me too!" responds Millie. "You first." "I want to learn how to drive a car." She insists.

He yells at her again, but they both get in the car anyways and drive off.

Then that truck crashes into the Gathering.

"Of course i'll marry you!" says Millie.