crowds with tear gas and pepper spray. “Yup, that sounds like freedom and democracy to

us” said the Ferguson Police Department

Hey folks, welcome to the new show, I’m Ross Everett and you have the freedom to watch

any of the following videos. And luckily for us, there’s only going to be one.

Some of you may have heard some complicated jibber jabber about what’s going on between

Hong Kong and China. But the names of the cities are hard to pronounce and I’m not

in Hong Kong or China so why bother using my thinking box to understand the trouble

feels?

First, Hong Kong and China have a weird relationship. Hong Kong is the kid that graduated college

and their parents forced them to move back home after. But instead of college, it’s

Britain, because like most civil unrest, it all starts with Britain. Britain is like the

bad guy in a Sherlock Holmes mystery where you look and see it lurking in the background

of all the crime scene photos: that Israel Palestine conflict, India’s fight for independence,

the revolutionary war. Britain was there the entire time.

So, it’s 1997 and Hong Kong is back at home living with China after spending 100 years

at Oxford. And they’re like, “In Britain they’ve got this thing called capitalism

and I want to do that here.” And China, who keeps a staunchly Communist home, says,

that’s fine, but you have to live here for 20 years first. And Hong Kong is like, okay,

there’s gonna be some rules though. First, you gotta let me do my own thing, let’s

call that autonomy, second, in 2017 I’m moving out and gonna do my democracy thing

and you gotta be okay with that, and third I’m putting up this poster of Arcade Fire.”

And China agrees.

So here we have Capitalist Hong Kong being overseen by Communist China which, while sounding

like a new eastern version of Two and Half Men, carries over none of the charm that Charlie

Sheen and John Crier brought to the roles.

And everything is fine for about 17 years. But then in August of 2014 China slides a

note under Hong Kong’s door that says “You guys are probably really excited to move out

and start to living on your own, right? Welllllll, about that… so you still get to vote and

elect your chief executive, but it’s going to be from a pool of candidates that we choose.”

Essentially, you guys can move out into the guest house, the basement, or the attic. But

you get to choose between any of those.

Which is understandable, because here in America, we give the same offer to the animals that

we keep in our zoos. You’re absolutely the king of the jungle. In this 30 foot cage.

Oh, you want food?

So, Hong Kongers took to the streets in peaceful protest where Hong Kong police thought that

they’d sit down with the protesters and have a civilized conversation in the form

of spraying the protesters with pepper spray and tear gas. It’s like having a fire department

who tries to fight fires with gasoline. And then people were like “ohhh, that’s why

freedom is important. Because THAT shouldn’t be happening”

But, everyone knows the best leaders are the ones who are readily willing to attack their

own people. Joining the ranks of such great leaders like Saddam Hussein, Hosni Mubarak,

Kim Jong Un... Why would Hong Kongers want to elect their own leaders, when their current

Chinese appointed leaders handle these situations so well already?

Remember, China is a communist country and not the biggest fan of democracy mostly because

it leads to awful things like elected governments, free speech and tear gas depletion. And while

China has boasted about it’s relationship with Hong Kong saying “one country, two

systems” they left out the fact that one system is working the strings and the other

system is a marionette.

But now that it’s time to cut the strings off this marionette and let it go, China is

changing the rules and putting it into a cage with force. Which is the exact plot of the

movie Pinocchio, and China is going straight Stromboli. (Show clip from pinoccio)

What do you think, if you were in Hong Kong would you be okay with these stipulations

on the 2017 election? Let me know in the comments down below. Remember to like the video if

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