Now, here's the thing and we haven't had this discussion.

We need to talk to y'all about this a little bit.

But let's just be honest right now, how confident are we that we're gonna be able to know who's who, right?

Look, let's just.

Alright, sit the fuck down. Let's do this.

Bro, we got into Sydney yesterday.

First thing we did off the plane immediately, Bondi Beach.

Now, incredibly excited to go to Bondi -- I've been waiting two years to go to Bondi beach.

Not because of like the natural beauty.

Don't give a fuck.

Not because of the chicks and the bikinis, don't give a fuck.

I came to Australia for one reason because I want to see a full grown Indian man who walk into the ocean with jeans and socks on.

OK?

I didn't believe it was real.

I did not believe it was a real thing.

I'm like this is got to be set up in Bondi rescue.

There's no fucking way.

There's no way the Indians park their Uber, get out in the same outfit and walk straight into the ocean and then just fucking flow to New Zealand.

They don't even -- every Indian in New Zealand started at Bondi Beach.

Australia has been wild, man.

I saw people protesting Israel Palestine war, man.

That was, that was wild, bro.

All these white Australians out there, (saying) "Give them back their land."

I saw these Aboriginals on the grass like, "What the... Give who back that land?

We don't even want the land.

We want you to increase the Centrelink. Just increase the Centre(link).

And how expensive fuel is. I can't even afford to sniff it anymore."

Bro, we started out west, we started out in, in Perth, we got Perth in the building?

We got Western Australia in the building?

You guys know Rotto?

Everybody here knows Rottnest Island?

Obviously very cool.

I want more than anything to go check out the island.

I want to, you know, see the adorable little creatures they got covering the island.

I believe you guys call them the Chinese.

So they're the cutest little things you can walk right up to them and tickle them and take a selfie.

Don't feed them, though.

You can't feed them because they bite and if they bite you, you start buying apartments up in Sydney.

It's crazy, bro.

It's so crazy what happens, bro.

But there's so many Chinese people on Rottnest Island.

The quokkas are starting to change, bro.

They don't even smile anymore.

They go, ha ha ha ha ha.

Chinese have taken over Rotto, bro.

They don't even call it Rottnest Island. They call it Taiwan.

That Taiwan shit is tricky, bro.

I'm gonna be honest with you because Australia, you know, if China invades Taiwan, it's Australia and the US that got to defend Taiwan, you all know that, right?

Now, here's the thing and we haven't had this discussion. We need to talk to y'all about this a little bit.

But let's just be honest right now, how confident are we that we're gonna be able to know who's who, right?

Look, let's just. That's a reasonable question, right?

Once China touches land, it's gonna be the Spider-Man meme like.

We gonna have to do shirts and skins for that one now.

We gotta do... China, you guys will be shirts obviously because that's where they're made.

And do you think you could tell a Taiwanese, bro? Just by looking at them?

We need to learn that shit or come up with another strategy.

I don't even want to tell you all.

I have a strategy.

The second the war starts, we gotta tell every Taiwanese, "Listen, just for this period of time, open them up. Just for this period of time."

It's like Friday Night Lights, "Round eyes, full hearts, can't lose." OK?

America! You beautiful pill popping gender swapping, fentanyl snorting space exploring right swiping stepmom piping champions of the world.

I've missed you.

I've taken The Life Tour all over the world.

I've crossed more borders than a Chinese spy balloon or as they call them in Montana, a sky dumpling.

And now it's time to come back to the greatest country in the world, America, baby!

In 2024 The Life Tour is coming all over America.

Like Josh Giddey watching Toddlers and Tiaras.

And there's one rule, everyone gets these jokes.

Aye Schulz! Your haircut stinks.

I'm clearly trying to film something over here.

Who cut your hair?

Michael J. Fox in a ice bath?

Shut up and put the music back on.

Thank you.

I'll see you there.

No.

Really...

I'm gonna stop playing characters.

It's really hard to defend. It really fucking sucks, dude.