♪ HEY, WOW... ♪

♪ HERE'S HOW ♪

♪ COME AND READ ♪

♪ BETWEEN THE LIONS ♪

Chorus: ♪ COME ON ♪

♪ COME IN ♪

♪ BEGIN ♪

♪ THE WORLD AWAITS ♪

Woman: ♪ BETWEEN THE LIONS ♪

♪ BETWEEN THE COVERS OF A BOOK ♪

♪ IT'S TIME TO LOOK BETWEEN THE LIONS ♪

♪ BEHOLD THE TALES BEYOND THE TAILS ♪

Chorus: ♪ BEHIND THE DOOR ♪

♪ BECOME, EXPLORE ♪

♪ COME IN BETWEEN THE LIONS ♪

♪ BEGIN BETWEEN THE LIONS ♪

♪ BE HERE BETWEEN THE LIONS! ♪

Theo: MMM, BREAKFAST MEATS.

YES, MMM-MMM!

( Lionel yelling )

Cleo: GOOD MORNING, LIONEL.

HI, LIONEL.

THERE ARE ANTLERS ON MY HEAD!

THERE ARE ANTLERS ON MY HEAD!

HEY, THERE ARE ANTLERS ON YOUR HEAD.

( huffs ): I KNOW, MOM!

Leona: HEY, HEY, HEY

I WANT SOME.

WHERE DID YOU GET THEM?

I DIDN'T GET THEM ANYWHERE.

I JUST WOKE UP AND THEY WERE STUCK TO MY HEAD

AND NOW THEY WON'T COME OFF!

OH, THIS IS THE WEIRDEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

HEY, WHAT ABOUT THAT TIME

WHEN YOU HAD THAT LITTLE PIECE OF POPCORN STUCK

IN YOUR BACK TEETH FOR, LIKE, THREE WEEKS?

THIS... THIS IS WEIRDER, LEONA!

OH, I'M A MUTANT-- A LION AND A MOOSE!

OH, SOMEBODY PINCH ME.

THIS MUST BE A BAD DREAM.

OW!

NO, YOU'RE NOT DREAMING!

NOW, LIONEL, HONEY

DON'T YOU WORRY YOUR LITTLE...

YOUR HEAD.

I KNOW A STORY ABOUT A LITTLE GIRL

WHO HAD THE EXACT SAME THING HAPPEN TO HER.

REALLY?

REALLY.

COME ON, LET'S ALL GO READ IT.

IT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.

OKAY.

COME ON.

( Leona giggles )

WE'RE GOING TO READ A BOOK NOW.

( books drop )

OW! OW! OH, OW! OW!

OWIE, OWIE, OWIE!

SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR PINCHING ME.

( gasps )

OW... YOU... YOU ASKED ME TO.

UH, SHOULDN'T WE AT LEAST FINISH BREA...

OH, NEVER MIND.

I CAN RELATE:

I WOKE UP WITH FEATHERS AGAIN.

ME, TOO.

BUT... BUT... BUT YOU'RE BIRDS!

( groans )

NOW, COULD EVERYONE...

OH!

SORRY.

CAN EVERYONE SEE FROM WHERE THEY'RE SITTING?

YEAH.

NOW I CAN.

YEAH.

IMOGENE'S ANTLERS BY DAVID SMALL.

LOOK, LIONEL, ANTLERS JUST LIKE YOURS.

( sarcastically ): THANK YOU.

I CAN SEE THAT!

Cleo: "'LOVELY ANTLERS,' SAID LUCY."

LOVELY?!

WELL, YES.

YEAH, THEY ARE LOVELY.

OH, OH... NOT AS LOVELY AS YOURS, LIONEL.

NO! NOWHERE NEAR AS LOVELY AS YOURS, LIONEL.

OH, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, NEVER MIND.

JUST KEEP READING.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

LET'S SEE.

"THE COOK, MRS. PERKINS, GAVE IMOGENE A DOUGHNUT."

A DOUGHNUT?

A DOUGHNUT?!

TH-TH-THAT'S ALL THEY CAN THINK OF AT A TIME LIKE THIS

IS A DOUGHNUT?

( growls )

DOUGHNUTS ARE ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA.

I LIKE DOUGHNUTS.

MMM... ME, TOO.

GO AHEAD, MOM.

( huffing angrily )

DOUGHNUTS, ANYONE?

( mother sighs )

AND SHE'S OKAY WITH THIS?

"AT 3:00, THE MILLINER ARRIVED."

( onlookers oohing and ahhing )

( applause )

( raving )

LOVELY, ISN'T IT?

( gasps, falls to floor )

Cleo: "...UNTIL SHE CAME INTO THE ROOM."

( mother sighs, falls to floor )

"THE END."

GREAT STORY.

( sarcastically ): OH, YEAH, GREAT.

THAT'S GREAT.

FIRST SHE LOSES HER ANTLERS

AND THEN... THEN SHE GROWS A PEACOCK'S TAIL.

AND THAT'S SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL... FEEL BETTER?

( groans )

I FEEL BETTER.

OH, THEY'RE GOING TO GO AWAY, LIONEL, JUST LIKE IMOGENE'S.

RIGHT.

IN THE MEANTIME, ENJOY THEM.

ENJOY THEM?

THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.

YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO'S TURNING INTO BULLWINKLE.

( chuckles )

STAY RIGHT THERE, SON.

WE'RE GOING TO FIND WAYS TO CHEER YOU UP, MR. GRUMPY.

( laughing )

COME ON, EVERYBODY.

MR. GRUMPY?!

OH, THIS IS INSANE.

I MUST BE DREAMING.

I'M GOING TO PINCH MYSELF.

( groaning in pain )

Announcer: AND NOW, LOVERS OF THE VOWELS "A," "E," "I," "O," "U"

AND SOMETIMES "Y"

CLAP ALONG WITH MARTHA READER AND THE VOWELLES

AS THEY SING THE SHORT "A" SOUND

FROM THEIR BAD WORD, "MAN."

( singing repeated short "a" sound to soul tune )

( song ends; cheering and applause )

AND NOW ARTY SMARTYPANTS WILL READ FOUR WORDS

WITHOUT ANY ASSISTANCE WHATSOEVER!

THANK YOU.

MAY I HAVE A "BUILD THE EXCITEMENT" DRUM ROLL PLEASE?

( drum roll, applause )

THANK YOU.

OKAY.

"AN"...

"PAN"...

"PLAN"...

"PLANET."

"AN," "PAN," "PLAN" AND "PLANET."

THANK YOU.

( applause )

Audience: LOOK OUT!

IT'S OKAY.

MY SMARTYPANTS ARE PADDED.

( thud )

OOH!

OOH...

ARTY! ARTY! ARTY!

AND NOW, THE WORD FROM DR. BERTICE BERRY.

AN.

( audience applauding and cheering )

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

( soul music playing )

YOU KNOW, I JUST LOVE THAT "A-R" SOUND

HONEY, IT SOUNDS SO MARVELOUS

LISTEN TO ME WHILE I SING ABOUT IT.

HA!

♪ WHENEVER I SEE AN "A" ♪

♪ FOLLOWED BY "R" ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ LIKE "MARTHA" AND "MARK" ♪

♪ AND "PARK" AND "GARGLE" AND "CAR" ♪

♪ I KNOW THAT EVERY TIME AN "A-R" IS FOUND ♪

♪ "R" GIVES "A" A SPECIAL SOUND ♪

♪ WHEN IT'S AN "A-R" ♪

♪ "A-R" ♪

♪ THEY SPARKLE LIKE A STAR ♪

♪ JUST LIKE A STAR ♪

♪ AR, AR, AR, AR ♪

♪ "A-R" ♪

♪ "A-R"-- THEY NEVER WANT TO PART. ♪

♪ "A-R," "A-R" ♪

♪ IT ISN'T SO HARD TO START ♪

♪ FINDING "A-R" ♪

♪ "A-R" ♪

♪ YOU'LL SEE IT IN "SMART" AND "CART" ♪

♪ AND THEN YOU'LL GO FAR ♪

♪ THEN YOU'LL GO FAR ♪

♪ NO, I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU IN THE DARK ♪

♪ "A-R" HAS GOT A SPECIAL SPARK ♪

♪ YEAH, IT'S AN "A-R" ♪

♪ "A-R" ♪

♪ THEY SPARKLE LIKE A STAR ♪

♪ JUST LIKE A STAR ♪

♪ AR, AR, AR, AR ♪

♪ AR... ♪

♪ "A-R"-- THEY NEVER WANT TO PART. ♪

♪ "A-R," "A-R" ♪

♪ AR, AR, AR, AR ♪

♪ AR... ♪

♪ "A-R"-- THEY NEVER WANT TO PART ♪

♪ "A-R," "A-R" ♪

♪ A-R! ♪

"AR"!

( audience applauds each time new word is formed )

( sneezes )

OH, MAN, I WISH I COULD SNEEZE THESE ANTLERS OFF.

I'M HAVING, LIKE, THE WEIRDEST DAY EVER.

( screams )

( music begins )

♪ OH, LIONEL, DO NOT BE BLUE ♪

♪ AS YOU CAN SEE, I HAVE ANTLERS, TOO ♪

♪ TOGETHER WE'LL TRY TO OVERCOME THEM ♪

♪ LEARN SOMETHING FROM THEM ♪

♪ SIDE BY ANTLERED SIDE ♪

♪ OH, LIONEL ♪

♪ DO NOT BE SAD ♪

♪ WE PROMISE YOU THEY DON'T LOOK SO BAD ♪

♪ OKAY, THEY'RE BAD, BUT WE'LL JUST IGNORE THEM ♪

♪ AND SOMEDAY YOU'LL ADORE THEM ♪

♪ SIDE BY ANTLERED SIDE. ♪

( tempo quickens )

♪ HEY, SON, LOOKY HERE ♪

♪ WE GOT AN IDEA ♪

Both: ♪ WE MADE YOU A SIGN, NOW EVERYTHING'S FINE ♪

♪ SURPRISE, YOU'RE A COAT RACK ♪

♪ COAT RACK, COAT RACK ♪

♪ BET YOU'VE GOT THE KNACK ♪

♪ YEAH, THE PEOPLE COME THROUGH, HANG THEIR COATS ON YOU ♪

♪ YIPPEE! YOU'RE A COAT RACK ♪

♪ GOING TO LET YOU BE A COAT RACK ♪

♪ YEAH, YOU GET TO BE A COAT RACK! ♪

( song ends )

Cleo: YOU LOOK GREAT.

Theo: OH, THERE YOU GO, BOYS

PUT YOUR HAT RIGHT ON THERE.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YEAH, NO REASON TO CARRY THEM.

Cleo: JUST GET THEM LATER.

WELL...

All: FEEL BETTER, LIONEL?

I DON'T WANT TO BE A COAT RACK.

I DON'T WANT TO BE A COAT RACK!

I DON'T LIKE THESE ANTLERS!

WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

YEAH, STAY RIGHT HERE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

COME ALONG, FAMILY.

( Theo chuckles )

HEY, MOM, CAN I BE A COAT RACK?

( blowing )

WHAT A WEIRD FAMILY.

( groans )

( thud )

( crowd cheering )

Gawain: EXCELLENT!

GAWAIN HERE ONCE AGAIN AT BLENDING FIELDS

WHERE TWO BRAVE KNIGHTS IN ARMOR

WILL CHARGE TOGETHER AT HIGH SPEED AND MAKE A WORD.

COMPETING TODAY, WE HAVE SIR "D"...

( crowd cheers )

AND ON YOUR RIGHT, SIR "ANCE."

( cheering )

BLEND ON, DUDES!

( crowd cheering )

Gawain: "DANCE"! EXCELLENT!

THAT'S GAWAIN'S WORD FOR TODAY.

AND THIS IS GAWAIN SAYING

DON'T FORGET TO DANCE BY AGAIN.

SEE YOU NEXT TIME ON...

AND NOW A LITTLE POEM IN WHICH LETTERS CHANGE

AND MAKE SOMETHING VERY INTERESTING HAPPEN.

( music begins playing )

♪ THERE ONCE WAS A CARELESS YOUNG CLAM ♪

♪ WHO FORGOT TO LOOK OUT WHERE HE SWAM. ♪

♪ A BIG WAVE FROM THE SEA MADE "S-W" "D" ♪

♪ AND WASHED THE CLAM OVER THE DAM, OH, YEAH ♪

♪ IT WASHED THE CLAM OVER THE DAM. ♪

( song ends )

Chorus: ♪ WHAT'S COOKING WITH THEO AND CLEO ♪

♪ CHECK OUT WHAT'S COOKING! ♪

OH, BOY, OH, BOY, OH, BOY.

( sniffing )

CLAM, WHOO, YEAH.

( sniffing )

Y-Y-YAM!

WHOA.

( sniffing )

OH, CLEO!

WHOA, CLEO, MY LITTLE MEAT DUMPLING.

( kissing )

LET'S GET STARTED.

OH, RIGHT AWAY, THEO, MY WILDEBEEST JERKY.