Here, you are a part of the family.

My family's incredibly toxic.

Oh.

Well, I'm sorry.

Hopefully, we won't be.

I guess that depends.

Does Big C expect the world, but offer breadcrumbs?

I guess.

Do I have to sacrifice my nights and weekends?

Well, sometimes, but-

And will they be happy to abandon us in spite of years of loyalty and service of profits?

Uh...

We have free snacks!

This is how they got you to sell your soul?

Free snacks? What about a livable wage?

I have two part-time jobs.

Bestie, you are so traumatized.

Look, man, I just want to buy a house and raise a family.

Oh, you think you're gonna do that by working?

No, we riot at dawn.

Yeah, but, I mean, there's the other side of it, too.

Like, I love what I do.

Ew.

Is it demanding? Sometimes.

Do I have to make sacrifices and be flexible?

Sometimes, yeah.

But I want to be useful to the world around me.

What?

To make a difference and a contribution.

I enjoy the fulfilling aspect of being good at what I do, and completing a project, and feeling like I matter.

Ew.

Listen, Bestie, I'm all for having purpose and fulfillment and whatever, but I think we also need to acknowledge that the system is broken.

Like, I get it.

You were raised in a time when everyone said you could do whatever you wanted, and pretended that you could have the American dream on a bachelor's degree in a single-income household.

I, however, was raised by a bunch of raccoons in a dumpster fire, battling a rival gang of raccoons for scraps of trash that would barely nourish our broken bodies.

Okay.

You come from a hopeful time, but a time full of lies.

I come from the veil lifted.

I mean, my generation did experience three financial calamities.

The dot-com bubble.

The what?

2008.

Never heard of it.

Then the coronavirus pandemic.

That's when I was born.

All while dealing with student loan debt, inflation outpacing stagnant wages, and high housing costs.

As I said, you grew up in a hopeful time.

Okay.

Well, look, 41 million of you are eligible to vote this year.

Maybe you can save us.

Oh, my God.

I've heard it all before.

Only Gen Z can save us.

Listen, one of us cares.

And it's that girl from Sweden.

And that's because she's not allowed to have a smartphone.

Please.

Look, I know that your generation is grossly generalized, is aloof, nihilist, with crippling social anxiety, and a constant impending sense of doom that climate change will kill us all anyway.

It will.

Maybe, just maybe, if we band together, we can demand more than just free pop chips and kombucha on tap.

Maybe we can make a real change.

Okay.

This is what we're gonna do.

We're gonna bridge the generational gap.

How?

We're gonna kidnap senior management, hold them hostage, and make them talk about their trauma in therapy.

You really think that'll work?

Have you seen the PSAs that they used to play?

It's 10 p.m.

Do you know where your children are?

Oh my god, is that real?

That's not even the worst one.

Mommy, what's for supper?

Can't you see that I'm on the phone?

Hold it down, I just got home.

Isn't it enough that I work all day?

At least you get a chance to get away.

Dishes, diapers, dirty rag.

Bosses, bills, and nag nag nag.

Daddy!

Shut up, kid, you're in the way.

I'm so mad I could slap your face.

Did I do something wrong?

Have you hugged your kid today?

Did you send him on his way?

With love, love, love, love, love.

She's a person just like you.

She's got feelings too.

So give her love, love, love, love, love.

Oh my god.

No wonder they're so insane.

She's a person just like you that needs to be set.

Right?

I feel like totes bad for them.

They're like the wacky wailing inflatable tube man of trauma.

So if we want to heal a broken system, we need to heal those bitches and hug them.

Hey guys, do you have that report ready?

What?

Okay, let's do this.

What is this?

Come to mama's.

You have my consent.

What are you doing?

To hug me.

What is this?

Is this love?

Don't walk away.

Come here, you old man.

Come to us.

Is this what love is?

You may touch me.

Oh my god.

Have you hugged your kid today?

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