I read this novel in elementary school.

Cops are staking out a hotel.

One of them dresses as a bellhop.

The other is a man in a suit.

And it was the exact same thing.

You read a novel in elementary school?

What?

I like to read.

And why'd you ask them what time it was?

Throw them off.

What kind of drug dealer asks a cop what time it is when he's got a briefcase full of pot, right?

We should hire you.

Jesus, I'd give you the 25 grand as a signing bonus.

I'll take it.

Unfortunately, we only hire from Harvard.

And you not only did not go to Harvard Law School, you haven't even gone to any law school.

What if I told you that I consume knowledge like no one you've ever met and I've actually passed the bar?

I'd say you're full of crap.

That's a Barbary legal handbook right there, right?

Open it up.

Read me something.

Anything.

Civil liability associated with agency is based on several factors, including the deviation of the agent from his path, the reasonable inference of agency on behalf of the plaintiff, and the nature of the damages themselves.

How did you know that?

I learned it when I studied for the bar.

Okay, hotshot.

Fire up this laptop.

I'm gonna show you what a Harvard lawyer or a Harvard attorney can do.

Pick a topic.

Stock option backdating.

Although backdating options is legal, violations arise related to disclosures under IRC section 409A.

You forgot about Sarbanes-Oxley.

The statute of limitations renders Sarbanes-Oxley moot post-2007.

Well, not if you can find actions to cover up the violation as established in the Sixth Circuit May 2008.

It's impressive, but you're sitting at a computer.

Playing hearts.

Sorry, if you want to beat me, you're gonna have to do it at something else.

How can you know all that?

I told you, I like to read.

And once I read something, I understand it.

And once I understand it, I never forget it.

Why take the bar?

This dickhead bet me I couldn't pass it without going to law school.

Okay, look, this is all pretty fascinating stuff, but I'm afraid I gotta get back to work.

I'll make sure that Serpico isn't around waiting for you.