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  • >> Stephen: OH, HEY, EVERYBODY!

  • WELCOME BACK, FOLKS.

  • MY NEXT GUEST IS A COMEDIAN AND ACTOR YOU KNOW AS JIN YANG ON

  • "SILICON VALLEY."

  • PLEASE WELCOME JIMMY O. YANG!

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: I GOTTA GET ME ONE

  • OF THOSE.

  • THAT'S A SWEET LINING.

  • GOTTA REPRESENT.

  • HEY, I LOVE "SILICON VALLEY."

  • IT'S A REALLY FUNNY SHOW.

  • THIS IS THE FIRST YEAR WOULD T.J. MILLER.

  • YOUR CHARACTER IS RUNNING THE INCUBATOR NOW THAT HE USED TO

  • RUN.

  • DID YOU FORCE HIM OUT?

  • >> NO, I DIDN'T.

  • MAYBE.

  • I DON'T KNOW.

  • I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT.

  • YOU KNOW, HE MIGHT JUST POP UP ANYWHERE.

  • I DON'T KNOW.

  • >> Stephen: HE'S AN ODD CHARACTER.

  • >> T.J. IS ACTUALLY A GREAT FRIEND AND WE HAVE SUCH GREAT

  • CHEMISTRY ON THE SHOW.

  • I WAS REALLY SAD WHEN HE CALLED ME ONE NIGHT AND SAID, "I'M NOT

  • GOING TO COME BACK NEXT YEAR."

  • I WAS SAID AND WORRIED.

  • I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT MY CHARACTER WAS GOING TO DO WITHOUT EHRLICH.

  • BUT IT WAS A BLESSI BLESSING IN DISGUISE.

  • I TAKE OVER SOME OF HIS INCUBATOR, AND I TAKE OVER

  • ( BLEEP )-- CAN I SAY THAT ON THE SHOW?

  • >> Stephen: NO, NOT REALLY, NOT REALLY, BUT IT'S FINE.

  • >> WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

  • >> Stephen: YOU WORK ON HBO.

  • I WORK ON CBS.

  • >> OH!

  • THAT'S A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT.

  • >> Stephen: THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME YOU HAVE EVER BEEN ON A

  • TALK SHOW, ISN'T IT?

  • >> YES, DISTAND-UP ONCE ON ARSENIO HALL YEARS AGO, BUT THIS

  • IS MY FIRST TIME ON THE COACH.

  • >> Stephen: WELCOME, WELCOME.

  • ( APPLAUSE ) I THINK WE HAVE A CLIP OF YOU

  • ASSERTING YOUR NEW AUTHORITY AS HEAD OF THE INCUBATOR.

  • WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS, DO YOU KNOW?

  • >> I HAVE TO TAKE OVER THE INCUBATOR, AND IN ORDER TO DO,

  • THAT I HAVE TO PROVE THAT EHRLICH BACHMANN IS DEAD, AND

  • THIS IS MY TRYING TO PROVE THAT HE'S DEAD.

  • >> Stephen: OKAY.

  • COMEDY.

  • >> I NEED TO PROVE EHRLICH IS DEAD, SO I WANT TO SHIP A DEAD

  • BODY FROM CHINA, BUT IT'S HARD TO FIND A WHITE BODY IN CHINA,

  • ESPECIALLY FAT LIKE ERIC.

  • SO I BUY A FAT WHITE CADAVER FROM CINCINNATI MEDICAL SCHOOL.

  • BUT TO SHIP IT TO CHINA, THEY SHIP A BOX, THEY SHIP BACK, IT'S

  • WAY TOO MUCH MONEY.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: HE'S GOT A PLAN.

  • HE'S GOT A PLAN AT LEAST.

  • >> YEAH, IT'S A MAN WITH A PLAN.

  • AND THOMAS, GREAT ACTOR, BUT KEEPS CRACK UP WHEN I SAY,

  • "CINCINNATI MEDICAL SCHOOL" FOR SOME REASON.

  • THAT TOOK ABOUT 40 TAKES.

  • >> Stephen: YOU HAVE A NEW BOOK.

  • IT'S CALLED "HOW TO AMERICAN."

  • IT'S AN IMMIGRANT'S GUIDE.

  • HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU CAME TO THE UNITED STATES?

  • >> I WAS 13 YEARS OLD.

  • I CAME HERE FROM HONG KONG.

  • >> Stephen: HONG KONG, OKAY.

  • SO WHAT WERE SOME OF THE HARDEST PARTS OF AMERICAN-ING.

  • DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?

  • >> I DO NOW.

  • BUT THERE WAS -- >> QUITE WELL, QUITE WELL.

  • >> YEAH, I TRY.

  • >> Stephen: WHEN YOU FIRST GOT HERE?

  • >> WHEN I FIRST GOT HERE, I LEARNED ENGLISH HOW AMERICAN

  • KIDS WOULD LEARN SPANISH, LIKE OPAPER.

  • BUT IF YOU DUMP A 13-YEAR-OLD KID IN AMERICA, THEY CAN'T

  • SURVIVE.

  • AND I BARELY NEW HOW TO SAY "LIBRARY."

  • AND THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL, I REMEMBER JUST-- THE SLANG.

  • I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND THE SLANG.

  • AND I GIRL CAME UP TO ME AND SAID, ," WHEN ASSUP?"

  • THEY DIDN'T TEACH ME THAT IN HONG KONG.

  • I LOOKED UP FOR, LIKE, FIVE SECONDS.

  • AND I LOOKED DOWN.

  • I WAS LIKE, "WHAT?

  • WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

  • WHAT'S UP THERE?" FIRST PERIOD EVERYBODY STOOD UP

  • AND PUT THEIR HAND ON THEIR CHEST AND STARTING RECITING "THE

  • PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE."

  • THEY DIDN'T TEACH THAT YOU IN HONG KONG.

  • >> Stephen: THERE'S NO "PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE" IN HONG KONG?

  • >> NO.

  • IT WAS SO INTERESTING.

  • I HAD NO IDEA WHAT THOSE WORDS MEANT, EVEN.

  • AND I JUST TRIED TO FOLLOW IT SO I DIDN'T SEEM LIKE THE NEW

  • FOREIGN KID WHO WAS WEIRD.

  • I STOOD UP AND STARTED PLEDGING ALLEGIANCE.

  • IT WAS LIKE JOINING A CULT.

  • >> Stephen: A LITTLE BIT, A LITTLE BIT.

  • YEAH.

  • DO YOU-- DO YOUR PARENTS-- ARE THEY HAPPY THAT YOU'RE A

  • COMEDIAN?

  • >> I DON'T THINK THEY GET IT.

  • MY DAD STILL CALLS IT A "TALK SHOW."

  • I GUESS I AM NOW FINALLY DOING A TALK SHOW.

  • ( LAUGHTER ).

  • >> Stephen: SO HE THINKS THIS IS WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO END UP

  • DOOR, OR HE CALLS DOING STAND-UP A TALK SHOW?

  • >> HE CALLS DOING STAND-UP A TALK SHOW.

  • THERE WAS NO STAND UP IN CHINA.

  • THE FIRST STAND-UP I SAW WAS ON B.E.T.

  • >> Stephen: NOT A LOT OF CHINESE GUYS ON THAT.

  • >> NOT AT ALL.

  • BUT THEY TAUGHT ME SO MUCH ABOUT CULTURE.

  • I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS WHITE PEOPLE DO THIS, BLACK PEOPLE DO

  • THAT.

  • IN CHINA, IT WAS ALL JUST CHINESE PEOPLE.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: ARE YOU-- ARE YOU

  • SAYING THAT YOU CAN'T TELL CHINESE PEOPLE APART?

  • BECAUSE THAT'S KIND OF RACIST!

  • THAT'S KIND OF RACIST JIMMY O.

  • YANG.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) OKAY, BUT SO NOW YOU'VE MADE IT.

  • YOU'RE-- YOU'RE EMPLOYED.

  • HOW DID YOU GET THE JOB, BY THE WAY, ON "SILICON VALLEY"?

  • >> IT WAS PRETTY CRAZY.

  • I GRADUATE U.C.S.B.-- I'M NOT AS FANCY AS YALE.

  • ANGELA BASSETT MIGHT BE MORE ASIAN THAN I AM.

  • >> Stephen: WHY, BECAUSE THERE ARE A LOT OF--

  • >> I COULDN'T GET INTO YALE.

  • >> Stephen: THERE ARE A LOT OF ASIAN STUDENTS IN YALE.

  • >> I AM A MEDIOCRE ASIAN AT BEST.

  • I COULDN'T GET INTO U.C.L.A., SO I ENDED UP AT U.C. SAN DIEGO.

  • I WAS AN ECONOMICS MAJOR.

  • THAT WAS THE EASIEST MAJOR THAT WOULD STILL PLEASE A FOREIGN

  • PARENT.

  • I COULDN'T CUT IT AS AN ENGINEER.

  • I WAS ABOUT TO GRADUATE, AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WANTED TO DO.

  • I JUST KNEW I DIDN'T WANT TO DO ECONOMICS.

  • ( LAUGHTER ).

  • >> Stephen: THE ONE THING YOU HAD BEEN STUDYING FOR FOUR

  • YEARS.

  • >> FIVE YEARS, IT TOOK ME FIVE YEARS.

  • >> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS, CONGRATULATIONS.

  • >> LOWERING THE BAR.

  • >> Stephen: JUST TELL YOUR PARENTS YOU WERE INVITED BACK

  • ANOTHER YEAR YOU WERE SO GOOD.

  • >> YEAR, LIKE THE FIFTH SEASON OF A SHOW.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) SO WHEN I WAS GRADUATING, I WAS

  • JUST TOTALLY LOST.

  • AND MY COMMENCEMENT SPEAKER HAPPENED TO BE MIKE JUDGE.

  • I HE WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW HE GRADUATE AS A PHYSICS MAJOR AND

  • HATED HIS JOB IN THE 80s IN SILICON VALLEY AND ENDED UP IN

  • COMEDY.

  • I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GOING TO GO INTO ACTING.

  • MIKE, WHO DIDN'T KNOW I WAS SITTING IN THE AUDIENCE THAT DAY

  • DURING HIS COMMENCEMENT SPEECH, GAVE ME THE BREAK.

  • >> Stephen: THAT'S A FULL CIRCLE RIGHT THERE.

  • NOW THAT YOU'RE ON THE SHOW, NOW DO YOUR PARENTS GET IT?

  • NOW DO THEY THINK YOU'RE FUNNY?

  • >> NO.

  • MY DAD WOULD SAY, "NO, NO, YOU'RE NOT FUNNY."

  • ( LAUGHTER ) HE WILL GIVE IT UP.

  • HE WILL BE LIKE, "I DON'T THINK YOUR STAND-UP IS FUNNY BUT I

  • THINK 'SILICON VALLEY' IS FUNNY BECAUSE I THINK THE WRITING IS

  • GOOD."

  • >> Stephen: GOT TO LOVE THEM.

  • >> MY MOM DOESN'T GET IT AT ALL.

  • THE FIRST TIME I SHOWED HER "SILICON VALLEY," SHE SAID,

  • "JIMMY, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU DON'T HUNCH YOUR

  • BACK."

  • >> Stephen: YOUR MOM IS WORRIED ABOUT YOUR BACK?

  • >> I SAID I'M PLAYING A CHARACTER.

  • AND SHE SAID PLAY SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T HUNCH THEIR BACK.

  • >> Stephen: NICE TO MEET YOU.

  • "HOW TO AMERICAN" IS IN STORES TODAY.

  • JIMMY O. YANG, EVERYBODY!

  • WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY JACK JOHNSON.

>> Stephen: OH, HEY, EVERYBODY!

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