Doobie doobie dooba, doobie doobie dooba, doobie doobie dooba, doobie doobie dooba.

Help me!

Ah, Agent P.

Doofenshmirtz is attending an evil scientist convention in London.

We're sending you in undercover, disguised as evil scientist Dr. Lloyd Wexler, who, incidentally, is the man sitting next to you.

Good luck, Agent P.

Welcome to Evilcon, Dr. Lloyd Wexler.

Hey, wait a second.

You didn't get your evil button.

Enjoy the convention, Dr. Wexler.

You didn't think I'd recognize you, did you?

But I do.

You're Dr. Lloyd Wexler, my greatest hero in all of evil science.

I can't believe I'm actually talking to you.

You know, I wrote my thesis on one of your early ransom notes.

Gee, you wouldn't mind if I just hung around with you today, would you?

It makes me so happy to be surrounded by so much evil.

Oh, look.

It's your autobiography.

It's always been a dream of mine to have you read it to me.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Okay, now I'm ready.

Come on, don't be shy.

Paragraph four.

Upon an evil winter's heart.

Go ahead.

Upon an evil winter's heart, the heavy hand of regret infrequently lights the malevolent path.

Is one trod without the cumbersome shackles of sentimental introspec- spec-spec-spec-spec-spec-spec-spec-spec-spec-spec-spec-spec-spec-spec-

Hmm, that's funny.

I don't remember you saying spec so many times.

Dr. Wexler, you're a platypus.

Bury the platypus!

I want to say that I knew it was you all along, but I can't because I didn't.

So now I guess I'm supposed to surrender, which I might do if we weren't standing in the middle of an evil weapons expo.

Aha! Bury the platypus!

Your giant robot dragon is no match for my giant robot...

Queen Elizabeth the First.

Would you mind switching robots with me?

Would you mind too terribly?

Please?

Thanks.

Thank you very much.

I just prefer this one. Thanks.

Now, bury the platypus.

Your silly, girly, Queen Elizabeth the First robot is no match for my giant fire-breathing-

Ow!

Ow, ow, ow, wait!

I didn't know she had laser eyes!

I want the tray back!

Well, yours may have laser eyes, but mine breathes fire!

That was a stupid design.

Haha! Obviously your Queen Elizabeth the First is no match for my dragon!

That Queen Elizabeth is a tough old bird.

Thank you for pressing the self-destruct button.

Oh, that's just great!

Thank you for pressing the ejection button.

Remember to take a parachute with you.

No! You found me!