Yeah, it's the only appliance in the house that he actually knows how to use.

Kids, where would I find the say-lord?

You mean salad.

It's in the drawer at the bottom of the fridge.

There's a drawer in the fridge?

Mmm...

I thought we agreed no secrets.

Oh, who am I kidding? I still love you.

Dinner is served.

I'm impressed. You're really taking this diet thing seriously.

Sure I am. My book says if you use tiny plates, you eat less.

Um, that only works if you have one tiny plate.

What diet is this?

Well, that's the no carbs diet, that's the high protein diet, that's the 5-2 diet, that's the 2-5 diet, that's the...

Pizza delivery!

And that?

My reward for dieting.

Hey, Mr. Dad, I like your new roll-neck sweater.

I'm not wearing a roll-neck.

Oh, it's your actual neck roll.

Are you sure this diet's working?

Absolutely. I feel incredible. It's giving me so much energy.

Yeah, you did just sleep for 36 hours.

That means I missed a whole day's eating.

It's weird. Since I started dieting, we run out of food so quickly, I have to go buy groceries every day.

Maybe I'm doing something wrong.

Hmm...

That's it! I should get the groceries delivered.

Done!

Let's go to the grocery store.

But you just ordered a whole load of food!

I've got to have something to eat in the meantime, don't I?

Chewing is one of the best ways to burn calories.

It's taking him forever.

Uh, Dad, I don't think this diet's working.

Okay, Darwin and I are going to help you diet properly.

What do you know about dieting?

The Internet exists. We don't need to know anything.

We will be your inspiration.

Your slim presarios.

You... - Okay, I think he gets it.

Now, if you want to take this seriously, you need to be open and honest about what you eat.

Do you have any food in the house we don't know about?

Uh...

Dad!

I thought that would throw you guys off.

That's not so bad.

Wait a minute.

That's it. We're putting you in lockdown.

Somewhere where there's no food.

Fish Finger, do you copy?

I repeat, Fish Finger, do you copy?

All quiet here. I repeat, all quiet here, Night Owl.

Ah, it's Night Owl!

Wait, I'm picking up some interference.

Sounds like chewing.

What's he doing in there?

I can't make it out.

Do you see anything?

Ooh! He has a burger!

Repeat, he has a burger.

You're gonna have to go in.

And Darwin, be careful.

Hey, Dad.

He's gone!

That's impossible! What can you see?

Oh, my gosh!

The hamburger's fake!

It must be a trap!

Get out of there! Abort! Abort!

Oh, it's just saliva.

He's escaped!

Fridge!

This is a new low.

Meh, feels like a very familiar low.

Dad moves so fast when there's food involved.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

We use food to trick Dad into exercising.

Huh, that never usually works.

You probably shouldn't have said your plan out loud right in front of me.

Don't worry, his short-term memory is terrible.

So, what are we talking about?

There it is.