Ha, ha!

Looks like you could use some help

From the big boss of hell himself

Chugga-daddy's long reviews on Yelp

Five stars!

Flawless!

Greatest of greats!

With a punch of a pentagram

Whap-bam-boom-a-la-kazam

Usually I charge a sacrificial lamb

But you get the family rate!

Thanks, Sam!

Who needs a busboy now that you got the chef?

Michelin-tasting, menu-free, all it got

I'll rig the game for you because I'm the real

Champagne thumbs, caviar mounds

That's just a start!

Who's been here since day one?

Who's been faithful as a nun?

Makes you chuckle with an old-timey pun

You're executive producer!

That's true!

I'm your guy, your day-to-day

Your chum, your steadfast hotelier

Remember when I fixed that claw today?

I would just as thank you, sir!

Thank you!

I'm truly honored that we built such a bond

You're like the child that I wish that I had

Uh, what?

I care for you just like a daughter I spawned

Hold on now!

It's a little funny

You could almost call me

Dad!

They say when you're looking for assistance

It's smart to pick the path of least resistance

Others say that in your needy hour

There's no substitute for pure

Angelic power!

Who just happens to also be your blood?

Sadly, there are times a birth parent is a dud

They say the family you choose is better

What a bunch of losers!

Can you butt out of my song?

Your song? I started this!

I'm singing it! I'll finish it!

Oh, you tacky piece of...

It's me! Yes, it's me!

I know you were all waiting for me!

I'm here!

What a gas!

Took a while, but I'm present at last!

It's me! It's me!

Miss A!

Who?

Thank you for watching!