Last one, two, three, four.

Tom and Harriet in the news.

Hi, my name is...

What?

My name is...

What?

My name is...

What?

My name is...

What?

My name is...

What?

My name is...

What?

My name is...

What?

Excuse me!

What?

My name is...

What?

Can I have the attention of the class...

What?

For one second.

My name is Slim Shady.

Hi kids, do you like Primus?

Wanna see me stick nine-inch nails to each one of my eyelids?

Uh-huh.

Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did?

Try Sid and get fucked up worse than my life is?

My brain's dead weight, I'm trying to get my head straight, But I can't figure out which Spice Girl I wanna impregnate.

Dr. Gray said...

Slim Shady, you a basehead.

Un-un.

And why's your face red?

Man, you wasted.

Since age 12, I felt like a caged elf Who stayed to himself in one space, chasing his tail.

Got ticked off and ripped Pamela Lee's lips off, Kissed him and said, I ain't know silicone was supposed to be this soft.

I smoke a fat pound of grass And fall on my ass faster than a fat bitch Who sat down too fast.

Come here, Slim Shady, wait a minute, That's my girl, dawg.

I don't give a damn, Dre sent me to take the world off.

Hi, my name is...

What?

My name is...

Who?

My name is...

Slim Shady.

Hi, my name is...

What?

My name is...

Who?

My name is...

Slim Shady.

Hi, my name is...

What?

My name is...

Who?

My name is...

Slim Shady.

Hi, my name is...

What?

My name is...

Who?

My name is...

Slim Shady.

My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high.

Thanks a lot, next semester I'll be 35.

I smacked him in his face with an eraser, Chased him with a stapler, Stapled his nuts to a stack of paper.

Walked in a strip club, Had my jacket zipped up, Flasked a bartender, And stuck my dick in a tip cup.

Extraterrestrial, Running over pedestrians, In a spaceship, While they're screaming at me, Let's just be friends!

99% of my life I was lied to, I just found out my mom does more dope than I do.

I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper, Make a record about doing drugs and name it after.

You know you blew up when the women rushed your stance, Try to touch your hands like some screaming Usher fans.

This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph, I have someone signed it, Dear Dave, Thanks for the support, asshole.

My name is, My name is, My name is, Flamseni My name is, My name is, Flamseni My name is, My name is, Flamseni My name is, My name is, My name is, Flamseni Stop the tape, this kid needs to be locked away Get him!

Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, operate!

I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive Am I coming or going?

I can barely decide I just drank a fifth of vodka, dare me to drive?

All my life I was very deprived I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide Clothes rip like the Incredible Hulk I spit when I talk, I fuck anything that walks When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits How you gonna breastfeed me, mom?

You ain't got no tits I lay awake and strap myself in the bed With a bulletproof vest on and tap myself in the head Till I'm steaming mad And by the way, when you see my dad Ask him if he bought a porno mag and see my ass My name is, My name is, My name is, Flamseni My name is, My name is, My name is, Flamseni My name is, My name is, My name is, Flamseni My name is, My name is, My name is, Flamseni