Wait!

Oh, you know where you're going.

God, aren't you supposed to know everything?

Of course, Dippy Dove, it's called omniscience.

Now quit stalling.

Then can I just ask you one question before you judge me?

One question?

I suppose that's fair.

I like that you're still seeking answers, even after death.

Oh, I know the answer.

I just want to see if you do, too.

I already told you I know everything there is to know, numbnuts.

So go ahead and ask your question.

What's it like to want to snort a line of coke off a hooker's ass?

Well, you see...

Don't look at me.

Hey, when you see a perfect set of bazongas, what's it like to just want to stick your face in there and motorboat the shit out of them puppies?

But...

Jeffrey, you like boobs.

Help me out here.

Sorry, big guy, you're on your own on this one.

What's it like to have a lady boner for Johnny Depp?

O-M-G!

Johnny Depp is fabulous!

What's it like to want to be spanked by Johnny Depp?

Yeah, God, what's that like?

What's it like to want to be spanked by Johnny Depp?

I...

I don't...

You don't know?

No, no, I mean, yeah.

You do know?

I didn't mean...

When you see that guy with the perfect ass and you just want to... bite it.

Smack it just enough to leave a handprint.

Jeffrey.

And then you give it a flick.

Whipped cream.

Rubber suit.

If the doctor has to pull it out again, he usually charges you double.

Enough!

I don't need to know what it's like to want to lick whipped cream off of somebody's nipple.

Oh, yes, you do.

You're supposed to know everything.

But... but I'm perfectly good.

If lust is bad, but you're perfectly good, then you shouldn't know what lust feels like.

If you don't know something, then you're not all-knowing.

And if that's true, I would venture to ask if it's even fair for you to convict people for feeling such things.

Feelings you have absolutely zero knowledge of.

You know, Jeffrey, you're right.

I...

I don't know what it's like to see some woman I hardly know twerking on the wall and to want to hit it from the back.

I don't know what it's like to want Orlando Bloom to whisper sweet nothings in my ear if I had an ear.

I don't know what it's like to...

Okay, God, I get the picture.

God?

God?

Oh, no.

You're not doing what I think you're doing, are you?

Jeffrey, you little motherfucker!

Huh.

This wasn't very intelligently designed.

God, what are you doing?

You can't be omnipotent if you're having an orgy.

Don't worry, Jeffrey.

The holy giggle stick hasn't even budged.

So you're not omnipotent, you're...

Omnipotent?

No.

I could do it if I wanted to.

I just don't.

That means you still don't know what lust feels like, which means you're still not omniscient.

I know, I know.

God, maybe you're going about this the wrong way.

What do you mean?

Let me try something.

It twitched!

It twitched!

No it didn't!

Yes it did!

Me?

Dammit, Jeffrey, no I didn't!

Now get the hell out of here and leave me and Johnny Depp alone for about a half hour.

If you haven't done much debating about God, then chances are you've butted heads with someone who got their arguments straight out of one of these terrible books.

They're fallacious, poorly argued, and sometimes blatantly misrepresent.

The frustrating thing is that they're very influential amongst theists, and many of the readers of these books never get to hear the proper counter-arguments.

Which is why it's good that Steve Shives made these videos, critiquing and analyzing these books.

Each series is devoted to a book, and each video is devoted to a chapter, breaking them down page by page, paragraph by paragraph.

Steve's task was monumental, and he doesn't let those authors get away with a damn thing.

If you don't have time for lengthy videos, I suggest you do what I do, and listen to them while you do other things.

A great place to start is in Atheist Reads' I Don't Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist, as he addresses many of the arguments that seem to pervade the internet.

Click here to start that series.

Watch it now, save it for later, spread it around, send it to theists.

If you like them, he has much more to check out.

These videos need to be out there, in the ether.

Theists have recommended and even given me some of these books, and it's really nice to be able to give them Steve's videos, answering them.

Thank you for your work, Steve.

It's greatly appreciated.