Yes, Mom.

They're rappers.

But they're white rappers.

White?

Eddie, we have been through this before, and the answer is always the same.

But they're sort of Asian.

No.

But he's a doctor.

No.

You're always talking about the ear of a dog.

That's a stretch.

No.

Eddie, I just don't understand you, the music you listen to, the way you talk, your clothes.

Buttoning the top button and letting the rest flop out like a cape.

That's called being a G, Mom.

Why do you want to be a letter that's only worth two points in Scrabble?

Q is better.

OK.

What kind of stuff are you into?

You like the Beastie Boys?

I prefer musicals.

Shack?

Tolstoy.

Blink.

Investments.

Hanging with Mr. Cooper.

Can't watch TV on Fridays because of Shabbat.

Hanging with God.

Stinky tofu?

Gefilte fish.

Stinky tofu sounds repulsive.

We don't like each other, do we?

I find your company undesirable.

Eddie, will you sign this petition?

Mr. Hedgehog is running for mayor.

Evan and I are learning about the government in school this week.

Your hedgehog is stupid.

You made a powerful enemy today.

Amazing, Phillip.

Amazing.

I wanted Eddie to play the cello, but he wanted to play the beatbox instead.

Eddie, stop.

Stop spitting into your hands.

Here's some money for souvenirs and snacks.

Why are you giving it to Phillip?

Oh, honey, because I trust him more.

So you know I'm going to put most of the blame on you.

Not because I want to, but for legal purposes.

Oh, well, I got to the front of the merchandise line and you weren't back.

But then I realized it was nightfall.

Shabbat was over.

I thought that ended at midnight.

I'm a devout Jew, not Cinderella.

You were supposed to go to the concert with me.

Yeah, I didn't want to do that.

You just left him?

Phillip, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Eddie gave up going to his concert to look for you, and you broke your promise to him.

You are very selfish.

You are not a good Chinese boy.

Eddie is.

Nice, Mom.

Now drop the mic and let's go.

Drop the mic? Who is mic?

Microphone, Mom.

It means you are awesome.

There she is.

Oh, she's the one who keeps swooping in on my listing.

Do you mind?

Not at all.

Let me get it.

It's just in my car.

She's getting away.

Shoot out her tire, which would be an easy shot from this beautiful, hand-carved, double-door entry.

OK.

Thank you.

Oh, I forgot my wallet.

You're at home.

You're at home.

Ever since I first laid eyes on Nicole,

I knew she was my girl.

Maybe she was out of my league, but look at Janet

Jackson and Jermaine Dupri.

If that ashy little nugget could get it, so could I.

Not gonna lie.

She's cute and she's older.

You're 11 and you sleep with a glowworm.

Yo, G-Dub, sleep with me.

Apparently, you need a license to sell houses.

Did you know this?

I did know this.

I told you this and you ignore me.

Excuse me.

Can you move?

I want to sit close to the door.

This won't take me long.

I have a chip, which waiting for me in the car.

Well, I have three kids.

Oh, OK.

So you made that choice.

Hey, I am also a stay at home mom, starting my act two in life.

You and me, we're the same.

No, we are not.

I envy you two.

We are not the same.

We are not the same.

Jessica?

Hey.

What are you doing here?

Eating a chip, which.

I thought you were supposed to be taking your real estate exam.

OK, honey.

Missy, you are going to spend the rest of your life in detention.

At least I have a life.

What's this? What's this?

Oh, it's my wedding ring.

I have a life.

That's how I'm going to spend time with her.

I got to get thrown into detention.

Oh, yeah?

How are you going to do that?

Yes, Eddie?

Oprah sucks.

Oh.

Jessica, don't you have to get up?

I thought you had a lot of houses to show today.

Oh, yes, a lot of showings today.

Busy, busy.

Houses, mansions, condos, houseboats.

How crazy are houseboats?

You go home, and you sail away.

What's your address?

The ocean.

Don't like your neighbors?

Fish are your neighbors.

You can eat your neighbors.

So yeah, busy, busy.

OK, find some shared interests.

Something you both like, you know, to break the ice.

Is that what you did with mom?

Not right away.

We've developed our shared interests over about nine months.

You.

Nasty.

You ever seen The Crow?

It's one of my favorite movies.

I don't need to see it.

I've lived it.

My pizza!

Get away, crows!

Look, I know how hard it is living in someone else's shadow.

Marvin's first wife was 25 years older than me.

25 pounds heavier, and is addicted to prescription meds.

How are you living in her shadow?

Oh, no, sweetie.

No, no, she's living in mine.

But I really feel for her.

Ma'am, you can't do those here.

You're going to get scratch or dust in the ketchup.

Well, I can't go outside because my friend is a jogging maniac.

She's all over the city.

Let's see what you have in your pot, you cute little leprechaun.

Nothing.

There's flies making love in your hot dog case!

Jessica, I know you didn't take the test.

What? No!

I ran into Honey.

She told me everything.

The only thing that woman runs more than her legs is her mouth.

Hey, Mom, I'm home.

Just going to get a jump on my homework.

Love you!

You love me?

What are you hiding?

Nothing.

An earring?

Eddie!

I take my eye off you for five minutes and you do this?

And what are these?

Eddie!

I can't believe!

My goodness.

Your hands are beautiful.

Yeah, I can't even look at you with that thing.

Here, put this back on.

You look like an Indian Elmer Fudd.